New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

Cocaine controlling my life

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by Brokengirl, Aug 11, 2017.

  1. Brokengirl

    Brokengirl Member

    Since Saturday I've just blown £320 so disappointed in myself it controls every part of my life! I don't want this way of life. How do I take back control of my life?
  2. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Brokengirl... You need to get some professional help. It's incredibly hard to quit on your own. Is there a treatment facility or addiction specialist in your area you can talk to? What about a support group like Narcotics Anonymous (NA)?
  3. Brokengirl

    Brokengirl Member

    Yes there is a NA In town just haven't had the courage to go. I'm so ashamed by my addiction
  4. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I know you feel ashamed. That's a normal thing to feel. But you shouldn't feel that way. Addiction is not a moral failing. it's a disease. You're not a bad person. You're a sick person. There should be no shame in wanting to get better.

    Think about going to an NA meeting just to check it out. If it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to go back. But I think you will find help and comfort there. You will see that you are not alone.

    Sending you positive, healing vibes and lots of hope and encouragement. And hugs. Lots of hugs.
  5. Brokengirl

    Brokengirl Member

    I need to distance myself from people that use but all my friends do and my dealer lives next door it feels impossible to escape
  6. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Brokengirl... You need to do whatever you can to get away from the temptations. Can you possibly find a different place to live? Living next door to your dealer is definitely not a good situation for you.
  7. Sugar

    Sugar Member

    I can relate to You so much!!! I was controlled by this demonic drug for over 10 years, and at the end of my addiction I spent over $47,000 in less than a year- overdosed several times & once to point of death. I hated myself & my life. I finally left my husband, moved away from all " those people,places, and things & got an appointment with an Addiction Dr. that prescribed Suboxone that stopped withdrawals & cravings - changed my life!!! Thanks be to God that was over 7 years ago; no slip / I stay away from any and all temptations. If I can do it I know You can too!!! You can have a real life!!!!
    Brokengirl and deanokat like this.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Thanks for your insightful post, @Sugar.

    @Brokengirl... You can do this. I know you can.
    Brokengirl likes this.
  9. Brokengirl

    Brokengirl Member

    I've found an NA and I'm going to do my best to enter this time and not bottle it. It's on 7th September so watch this space. Wish me luck hopefully this will be the first step to recovery. And as always thank you for all the kind words
    Sugar likes this.
  10. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I'm so proud of you, @Brokengirl. :)
    Sugar likes this.
  11. Brokengirl

    Brokengirl Member

    I've used everyday this week another £300 wasted! The 7th can't come soon enough. I don't understand how my friends just use occasionally and I'm so addicted I feel so pathetic that I can't control this
  12. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Brokengirl... Other people can use occasionally because their brains are wired differently. Addiction is a brain disease. If your brain is wired for addiction, it will keep asking you for more. Don't feel pathetic. This is not your fault!
  13. Brokengirl

    Brokengirl Member

    Counting down the days till the 7th trying my best not to use. I'm thinking of coming clean with my 19yr old son. He has used in the past and knows that I do but not how out of control my addiction has become. I'm thinking of telling him and let him control my spending. Only let me spend on essentials and he can put the rest away so I can't waste it. But I'm not sure if it's a bad idea? All ideas welcome.
  14. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Brokengirl... If your son has used in the past, giving him control of your money might not be the best idea, in my opinion. The money could serve as a trigger for him. That said, I think telling him about the extent of your drug use is probably a good idea. Maybe he could help you with support and accountability. Those are my thoughts.
    Brokengirl likes this.
  15. Brokengirl

    Brokengirl Member

    @deanokat i haven't spoken to my son yet as haven't had the time to sit down with him. I want us to have the time to discuss everything. I have another idea about my money. I have an old bank account I don't use at the moment I thought I could transfer all spare cash as soon as I get paid and let my son have the card but only I would have the pin. What are your thoughts?
  16. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    That seems like a good idea, @Brokengirl.
  17. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Brokengirl... Thinking about you today. If you get a chance, check in and let us know how you're doing. Sending you lots of love, light, and positive juju. :)
  18. Brokengirl

    Brokengirl Member

    So... not doing so great. Have torn the ligaments in my foot pretty much house bound at present. Have been using quite a bit haven't spoken to my son. Have gone through my savings. Find myself searching for loans so I can get a hit. Asking myself why I'm doing this? I don't want this life but it has control of me! Maybe it's a good thing I'm out of money. Am I going to get withdrawal? What will the symptoms be?
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2017
  19. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Brokengirl... I'm sorry about your foot. Being laid up like that is no fun. But maybe it IS a good thing that you're out of money. Maybe that's what it will take for you to finally get some clean time under your belt. As far as withdrawal goes...Yes, you'll likely feel it. There's an article that might help you understand more about that. Here's the link:

    Cocaine Withdrawal

    Maybe this would be a good time to talk to your son. Maybe just lay everything out on the table for him. Maybe he can be your support while you go through this. Just a thought.

    I'm sending you lots of positive juju. And keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I want you to kick cocaine's ass and start living the life I know you deserve.

    Hugs.
  20. Brokengirl

    Brokengirl Member

    @deanokat thank you as always for the kind words. I last used two days ago and I'm climbing up the walls thinking of ways to get cash My son is working a lot a present and haven't been able to talk to him. I feel like literally pulling my hair out. I don't know if I can do this