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Convincing boyfriend to quit

Discussion in 'Tobacco / Nicotine' started by MandaMom12, Dec 12, 2014.

  1. MandaMom12

    MandaMom12 Member

    My boyfriend and I are expecting our first child in July. He's said that he'll quit by the time the baby comes, but I don't believe he's really that motivated to do it. I've never been a smoker, so I don't know how difficult it can be..but I want to be supportive and start pushing him to do so. I've seen a lot of people start 'vaping'--does it really work? Have you or anyone you know used that to quit smoking? Or are there other effective ways that have actually worked and they stayed that way?
  2. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Yes I don know people who have quit. My Mom quit when I was an infant because she burned me with a cigarette. My grandmother just decided one day. A friend of mine did it by taking apple cider vinegar baths to detox the urge to smoke. You are slowly killing yourself. Your lungs will end up black and weak. You will be coughing and hacking from breathing problems. Your chest will hurt. All until it kills you. There are 1.3 million people a year that die from it. Isn't that enough to make you quit?
  3. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    You can try getting him to ween off it slowly so the change wouldn't be so drastic by the time that he actually needs to stop. I'd also vouch for vaping. From what I've seen, it actually works, and I myself smoke and have also tasted vaporizers and I have to say the stronger ones are a great substitute and even if they have nicotine the main harmful substance like tar isn't present so from what I understand it's a much better option. I'm not an expert though so it's still best to do your own research but I have lots of friends who have been able to successfully quit smoking cigarettes because of vaping.
  4. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    Between now and July that's like six months which to me looks like enough time for him to quit if he's really serious.I can only urge you to motivate him and give him all the support he needs and with right attitude,he'll quit smoking.
  5. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Probably your boyfriend isn't ready to stop smoking yet. That's why he's stalling to buy more smoking time until the baby comes. To be honest unless someone is willing to fight an addiction nothing can be done to help that person. All you can do is advice and only when he is ready to stop smoking can you stand by him to support him. Sorry if I sound to pessimistic.
  6. bourge_21

    bourge_21 Senior Contributor

    He'd been a smoker for a long time so expect that he would not quit smoking that easily. The best thing that you can do is to help him stop smoking. Whenever he's going to smoke, take the cigarette stick from his mouth. You have to be firm as a person concerned about his health.
  7. ayywithemm

    ayywithemm Member

    If he really wants to quit but finds of hard due to some obstacles, maybe having a newborn in the household could be the push he needs. No parent wants harm to come to their child.
  8. bourge_21

    bourge_21 Senior Contributor

    However, newborn babies create miracles in fathers. I have seen that coming. When they see their responsibilities, they think deeper and become better men.
  9. ayywithemm

    ayywithemm Member

    And hopefully, that is how we come to have great fathers, the reformed 'bad guys'. They will be the volunteers you see warning the next generation about substance abuse, having been through it themselves. All because of a baby, they restored their priorities. Good luck.
  10. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I know of people that turned cold turkey and quit smoking and I know guys that have turned to alternative means of getting their nicotine fix by using the patch, nicotine gum, and vaping. Keep in mind that the alternative nicotine usages, is not a answer but alternative to the smoke in the air, which is harmful to others.
  11. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I agree. I think anyone who is serious about it and really means it would sound a bit more convincing than that. Of course it's hard to judge from just a few paragraphs of backstory but I know that I'm usually this way whenever I feel like I'm being forced to commit to something I don't really believe in personally, regardless of whether I know which side is right or wrong.
  12. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    That's why they say that addicts quit when they choose it. For a lot of them, nagging them into it may feel like an attack! It somehow worked for my boyfriend (or so I tell myself, it has probably better motives than this), but he was already on 4 cigs a day when he really quit.

    This... can be a bad suggestion. A person that stops to smoke can become quite aggressive (without being violent). Also, it does not necessarily help to treat the smoker like a lil' kid who you have to take a toy away from!

    To the people making comments about how fatherhood changes you, I know guys who pretended they stopped smoking as their partner got pregnant. I think you should make sure that you keep your communication line open and truthful rather than shaming and nagging, it might work better in the long run for you two.

    Just try to bring him to think somehow it's his own idea. Find compromises with him about it at first. I don't know. Better to not get a full stop right away than to have him pretending and smoking behind your back, right?
  13. e_rosenfeld

    e_rosenfeld Member

    I've had experience with trying to get a close friend to stop smoking and the answer is simple. BE CONSISTENT. First, if your boyfriend is a heavy smoker, limit him to 1 cigarette every hour. See how that works, and don't be lenient with this rule. The next step is to limit him to 1 cigarette every 2 hours. Continue this pattern until cigarette breaks are taken out of his daily routine completely. Before any of this happens, you have to make sure he is ready to quit because if he isn't you're going to waste your time.