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Could your family have prevented your addiction?

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by Janie, Jan 15, 2015.

  1. Janie

    Janie Active Contributor

    Is there anything your family, your mom, dad, or siblings, could have done to stop your addiction from forming?

    I've heard it stated that parents can play a huge role in keeping their kids off drugs and alcohol.

    Do you believe that's true? And if so, what could they have done for you?
  2. orangesunset

    orangesunset Active Contributor

    Maybe your parents could have done something to help you stay off drugs and booze, but it probably is best not to go there. Kids do not come with an instruction book, and your parents did the best the could with what they knew how. I am lucky that my kids turned out ok, but it isn't because of me. I wasn't the best parent.

    It is best to forget about the past and look into the future.
  3. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    From many instances, some people have kept their addiction a secret and their family has never found out. However, when it is in a public situation, family can always do something. They should be your stronghold and your constant reminder of what addiction does to your well being. If your family has not helped you, then they most definitely should start.
  4. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I've shared this a number of times in the forum. Just in case you weren't able to encounter my previous comments, then I'd gladly share to you the story of my uncle and what my mom did to help him recover from addiction. The rest of the family was against rehabilitation as they feared that my uncle would be subjected to inhumane treatment in the center. My mom stood by her decision with only my late grandmother (who reluctantly conceded) behind her. My uncle was already on the verge of ruin but after a few months of rehab, he showed rapid signs of improvement. He fully recovered after a year of two of staying in the center. Although he became a moderate alcoholic later on, the consolation there is that he became a policeman (irony of ironies), married, had two kids and is now enjoying the fruits of a policeman job. Had my mom not stood by her decision and allowed other relatives to sway her, my uncle could have died a long time ago. But now, he's in a good place thanks in part to my mom's "strict affection."
    MrsJones likes this.
  5. morganmar33

    morganmar33 Member

    This is a tough question. In many ways I feel as though things that occurred in my childhood led me down a dark path to addiction. Being a child and subjected to horrible, life changing events can really have an effect on the choices you make. Perhaps if my parents wouldn't have done some of the things they did, or didn't do for that matter, I wouldn't have been an addict. So yes I think family and enviroment definitely play a role. That being said, I feel that once you become an adult you should be held accountable for your own actions. It is your responsibility to seek and find help for yourself. The problem is so many addicts don't love themselves enough.
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2015
  6. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Yeah I do agree with that. I'm lucky I didn't end up having serious drug issues considering. What can they do? This is the question. I think building a good relationship with their children and teens. Loving them, really loving them. A friendship is important. I've heard a few people say they don't want to be their kid's friend. This is not smart at all. If you are not their friend how will you ever know what is going on with them to help them? We had to figure it out ourselves when I was a teenager. My parents had no idea. Have some interest in your children. There hobbies and life aspirations. What they like to do, things like this. Kids and teens need to be able to make their own decisions. Letting them choose things and possessions. Read up on ways to bring up the subject of drugs and dealing with it. Videos and documentaries can be useful I'm sure. Find out if their school addresses the issues at all. Ask the kid what they think of drugs out right.
  7. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    My father could have restricted me from taking alcohol but he did the opposite since he is the first person to give me alcohol. If my father never used to take alcohol at home then there was probably no way I could have tasted alcohol for the first time. My mother was also not strict. She never questioned me whenever I took alcohol.
  8. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    In a lot of cases I'm sure that a family could have had a positive influence and stopped a person from falling into addiction, but that's not the case in all circumstances.

    Sometimes people will be unable to help, and if a person as gone through some sort of emotional or physical trauma, then they won't be able to be helped by anybody, until they at least realise that they need help in the first place.
  9. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    This is a hard question. In some ways maybe it could have been prevented if certain things did not happen in my life per se. But lets say these problems still occured. I would have to say no. No one could have prevented the battle I had been fighting inside. That was a fight for only me and me alone. But them being there when I needed them the most was a big factor on giving me strength.
  10. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    If the parents themselves use drugs then I suppose it can be quite for them to stop their kids from getting addicted to drugs. Talk of preaching water and drinking wine! Your kids would know you are a hypocrite and they'd use drugs anyway. That said, I think had my family intervened early I wouldn't have started using drugs while I was still very young. Since they were too busy doing other things an addict I became.
  11. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Honestly for me I would say no. My parents didn't drink, so it's not like it was a behavior I saw modelled at home. It was all about the peer group and my personality - and honestly short of literally locking me up in the house I don't think they could have done much more.
  12. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    My parents do not have any kind of addiction. Since they did not drink or smoke, the never accepted drinker and smoker in the house. However, this did not stop me from taking to smoking, drinking and drug abuse. Having said that their sober life inspired me to give up addiction.
  13. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Sometimes it can be the case that because parents are clean living, the child wants to do exactly the opposite and rebel against that way of life.

    Growing up very few children want to be like their parents, especially in the teenage years and that's when children are also more impressionable aswell so they do often fall into that trap.
  14. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Well my parents weren't into drugs or alcohol, but food is the thing I struggle with, an my mother 100 percent was and is a food addict. She has it more or less under control now though do to health issues. I noticed my son starting down the same road and I had a talk with him...he lost some weight and started to monitor his eating more which I think is a great thing! However, not using food as an emotional crutch is the thing..You have to find other coping strategies...as I keep telling myself!!
  15. Nancy D.

    Nancy D. Senior Contributor

    I think it depends on the person. Me personally I don't think anyone could have helped me not to want to try drugs or alcohol and cigarettes for that matter. I was curious because society says it was cool, and made you feel great...so I wanted to try. Nobody's fault but my own.
  16. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    I think families and friends can be good or bad influences, but I don't really feel that they can "make or break" you when it comes to whether or not one will become addicted to something. At the end of the day, we all make choices. Are we more likely to make bad choices when we have bad influences? That's possible.

    Overall, though, I think we have to hold ourselves accountable, for better or worse.
  17. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I think the buck has to stop with yourself, even if you HAVE been heavily influenced by others in your life.

    It may even have been that bad that they did cause you to become addicted to something, but if your wanting to enter into recovery then you can't go into it blaming others. You have to take the responsibility that your in this mess because if you, and the choices you've made, even if you have been pushed into them.
  18. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    No matter what the reason was you have to stop blaming others and accept responsibility for your behaviour and your addictions. A person can't be healthy and always be blaming others for their life choices. The sooner they can accept that it is their problem to deal with the sooner they can seek help and start working towards a healthier lifestyle. The addict has to hold themselves accountable if they want to get help. Blaming others will only continue your life on a downward spiral.
    deanokat likes this.
  19. Nancy D.

    Nancy D. Senior Contributor

    I think blaming ourselves and really coming to grips with the truth is key. We know no one put a gun to our head and said here take this...drink this...smoke this.....so realy its a matter of growing up and taking responsibility for our OWN actions.
  20. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Some might say parents are too strict, do not listen, are always absent creating a void in the lives of their kids. Yet with these and other arguments some kids end up on drugs and some don't. It's believed that parent can do a 'perfect' job of training their children and then kids still become addicted. I think there are a lot of variables at work and at the end of the day the child has a mind of their own and can make they own informed choices.