I am new to the forum and not sure what I will get from this but anything helps. I am 28 years old and started abusing painkillers around 20 years old, specifically oxycodone. At my worst with the pills I would spend 175 a day on 5 30mg polls and smoke them till i nodded off. March of this year I lost my 60k a year job because I was caught stealing to support my habit. I have now moved to smoking about half a gram of heroin a day as long as I have the money to do so. I have lost my car, my house, and pawned anything I own worth value. I work temp jobs that pay the same day so I can get my fix. I know that I need to enter a treatment program but I am uninsured and my family is very limited on resources. Most of my family knows i have a problem yet they do not condront me about it but it is the proverbial elephant in the room. I do not know where I go from here. My whole life I have suffered from anxiety and depression but I have never addressed these issues basically because I let my pride get in the way telling myself it was just me being weak minded. I have contemplated suicide god knows how many times as I feel it is my only option to end the misery. Im sure this is a story you have all heard and I am just another junkie but I know deep down I am better than this I just dont know what the first step should be to begin the road to recovery. Every treatment center I call seems to give the cold shoulder when I tell them I have no money or insurance. Im sure most addicts are in similar financial situations so there must be some kind of help out there. I am ready to close this chapter of my life and start repairing the damage I have done but I am feeling defeated at times due to the lack of options for recovery. Any advice? What options do I have other than suicide to end the pain I have caused? I need serious help. What should I do?