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Day 3 of sticking to the prescribed dosage of Norco

Discussion in 'Prescription Drugs' started by laura_p17, Nov 9, 2018.

  1. laura_p17

    laura_p17 Member

    This is the third day of me sticking to the prescribed dosage of Norco and Clonazapam (mainly Norco though). The reason I feel the urge to take “one extra pill” is usually emotional. I am severely disabled, my only caregivers are either ill or struggling with an addiction, and I lost my husband-to-be to cancer three years ago, which left me with PTSD. The OD this summer sorta amplified the PTSD symptoms, to the point where I was afraid of leaving my own apartment. I am a pretty vivacious person, but I began to be afraid of socializing, talking to people, going out. There are days when I’m feeling so trapped and hounded that resorting to an extra pill feels like the lesser evil. Except it isn’t. I know it isn’t.

    But I know that “one more pill” only opens the floodgates and I’ll feel compelled to take one tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after, till it’s too late and my self-hatred kills whatever willpower I had in the beginning of my monthly pill cycle. It’s never going to be ‘just’ one extra pill and it has never been. I need to change my faulty patterns of thinking.

    Any advice in terms of psychological addiction, like self-medicating against feeling absolutely trapped?

    I really want to stay strong about this. If not for me, then for my loved ones.
    True concern likes this.
  2. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    @laura_p17 I am so sorry to hear about your husband to be,that has got to be extremely hard,I know when my wife told me to leave the house after 15 year's of marriage I wanted to die and in fact my stupidass didn't necessarily try to end my life but I didn't try to hold onto either..So indeed I Sympathize with you however I am glad you are pushing forward.As for the psychological addiction versus feeling trapped unfortunately all I can say is keep reaching out and over time it will get easier,not a week or a month but make it a priority, it's vital to our mental wellness as isolation and depression will ultimately destroy the way we think and how we view ourselves.Hearing from people has really given me strength to keep digging within,I'm no success story or anything but I am making great progress as in the past year I have completely eliminated most of my addictions and honestly though I take a pain pill here and there since my knee surgery (Not everyday) but it is different now,I only take one when I need one and I won't need them at all very soon but it has taken me almost 1 year to find that self control..So please just keep sharing,ask questions,vent about what is bothering you emotionally, etc it all helps.Stay Strong and God Bless you
  3. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @laura_p17... Welcome to the community and thank you for sharing. I'm glad you found us and reached out. And my deepest condolences on the loss of your fiancé. I can't imagine how difficult that was for you.

    I think @True concern has given you some great insight. I'm also wondering: Do you have a therapist? Because I'm thinking a therapist who specializes in treating people with addiction issues would really be able to help you. They could help you change your patterns of thinking and, I think, make getting over the psychological addiction easier.

    We are here to help, support, and listen. If you need advice or just want to talk or vent, you can come here anytime you'd like. You are not alone and we will never judge you. So you're safe here.

    Sending you lots of love, light, and hope. And healing energy, too.
    True concern likes this.
  4. laura_p17

    laura_p17 Member

    Thank you, thank you!

    Sadly, I can't afford a therapist.

    It's a day by day struggle right now. Each day I stick to my regimen is a small victory.
    True concern likes this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @laura_p17... If you call your local social services organization, they may be able to direct you to low-cost/no-cost counseling. Also, if you're anywhere near a university or college, you can sometimes get free services from grad students who are studying psychology. Just a thought.

    Keep sticking to your daily regimen. I'm proud of you.
    True concern likes this.
  6. laura_p17

    laura_p17 Member

    Day 4. Going to stay at my boyfriend's over the weekend, so that should help.
    Dominica, deanokat and True concern like this.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Congrats on Day 4, @laura_p17. One day at a time. Just keep going. :)
    Dominica likes this.
  8. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    is there any way you can find a therapist willing to work with you long-term? would your insurance cover it? some will work on a very low fee, sliding scale. some pro bono if you really seek around. just a thought.

    you have been through a lot...and i'm sorry about your fiance's passing....

    keep trying... day by day... think "progress" rather than perfection. change takes time and it's a process.

    hope you are having a good saturday!
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  9. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Thinking of you today, @laura_p17. Hope you're doing alright. And hope your weekend went well.
    True concern likes this.
  10. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Likewise @laura_p17 would love to hear how YOU are doing
    deanokat likes this.
  11. laura_p17

    laura_p17 Member

    I slipped up yesterday. It's hard to admit that. I feel ashamed of my weakness. But I'm staying strong tonight. If anyone would like to PM me directly, it'd be great.

    Thank you for caring.
    Dominica and deanokat like this.
  12. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @laura_p17... You are a human being and none of us are perfect (thank God!). I'm proud of you for coming here and admitting that you slipped up. But please don't feel ashamed. You are trying hard and a slip-up is not the end of the world. Progress, not perfection! Just get back on the right track and use the slip as a learning experience and motivation. We are here for you. Always. No matter what.

    Sending you strength and encouragement. :)
    True concern and Dominica like this.
  13. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @laura_p17

    Hey there. As you know recovery is a process and it is progress you're after. I'm curious as to if you're spending time on your recovery everyday. That could be by reading recovery books or watching YouTube videos on recovery or something where you're keeping the benefits of staying clean right in the Forefront of your mind. The battle is in your mind, so just like you feed your body everyday, realize the importance of feeding your mind inspirational and motivational information each day. At least it helps for some people. I know your recovery is unique for you.

    I know you're seeking some support but you're also having a tough time getting out. This is one great thing about the internet. You can become part of the community and connect with others in a meaningful way.

    Know that we're here for you and we are definitely rooting for you!
    True concern and deanokat like this.