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Day 3 of tramadol withdrawal and I need support!

Discussion in 'Prescription Drugs' started by Jean756, Nov 3, 2018.

  1. Jean756

    Jean756 Member

    I feel like I am in the fight of my life right now. I went cold turkey from tramadol, taking my last two pills on Halloween. I have been taking a mid-level dose of about 100-250 mg a day for 4 years. No one knows so I am hiding my w/d from my husband and three young kids. I have tried to stop in the past but failed with the taper method so I decided to just quit. I have one refill left that I plan on not picking up as these past few days have been hell. Just looking for help from others that have come out on the other side. I’m worried about dealing with these feeling for 6+ months with a full time job and three kids. I am so disappointed in myself for getting into this situation and going it alone is really tough. But I am determined this time.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Jean756... Welcome to the community. I'm sorry that I'm just now seeing your post.

    I'm proud of you for deciding to get off of Tramadol. Your life will be better without it, for sure. Unfortunately, I don't have any direct experience with quitting this medication, so I can't give you any specific advice. I do, however, know that quitting cold turkey can be very difficult. How are you doing today?

    I did find this article, which may help you:

    Tramadol Withdrawal Timeline, Symptoms and Tips

    If your withdrawal symptoms become unmanageable, please don't hesitate to go to the ER. You may also want to consider consulting an addiction specialist.

    We are here to support you however we can. Please know that you can lean on us anytime.

    Sending you lots of healing energy, hope, and encouragement.
    True concern likes this.
  3. Jean756

    Jean756 Member

    Thanks for your response. Somehow I made it through the weekend, and Saturday night was by far the worst. I didn't eat enough food and at one point I couldn't open my hands to grab my water bottle, which terrified enough. I know that whenever I get sad or think about the pills, I will remember that moment FOR SURE. I forced some food down and I think I can safely say that in the beginning of Day 5 I'm through the worst of it. I called the pharmacy yesterday and told them to throw away my refill and put a note on my account to never give me the drug again. I never want to go through this again. I used to think I needed it to get through the days with my kids (I have 3 young ones a full time job). I thought I needed the pills to give me the energy to get through my day, but instead, I missed out. And I was surprised that even yesterday I had enough natural energy to do a bunch of laundry and clean the house. Thank you for your reply.
    True concern, Dominica and deanokat like this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Congrats on Day 5, @Jean756! I'm so glad to hear that you think you're through the worst of it. Thank God! I also think it was admirable to call your pharmacy and have them cancel your refill and put that note on your account. That's being proactive, and I'm proud of you for doing that.

    I pray that things will continue to improve for you. You're a badass, my friend. Know that we're always here if you need to lean on us.
    True concern and Dominica like this.
  5. Liola

    Liola Senior Contributor

    Congrats for sure Jean756! I don't know how you did it and suffered silently with family around.That shows real desire to get off of them.
    I think withdrawing from any drug...especially pills you've regularly taken for years are similar re withdrawals. I have in the past gotten off of Tramadol and I remember my eyes twitched a lot. You are lucky it was a short withdrawal even though I am sure each minute seemed to last forever.
    Glad you came on this site and had a safe place to be honest and get support.
    True concern, Dominica and deanokat like this.
  6. Jean756

    Jean756 Member

    Thanks Liola. I feel good, but I also feel it's important to post a somewhat positive story. But I should note this wasn't my first time trying to quit. I had tried once before and went back after only 2 days - I couldn't do it. I needed to be ready. I scoured the internet for positive stories (or at least ones that weren't absolutely horrifying) about w/d from this drug. I was scared of out my mind. But I think taking little snippets from the hundreds of posts I read helped. And maybe my story can be a positive one out there (or at least one that isn't that bad). It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I kept saying "This is temporary, this is temporary" and that helped a lot. HOT AS HELL baths, Immodium, Advil and sleep aids are getting me through the nights. I was originally on tram for headaches, which are now coming back, but I don't care. I'm not going back.
    I started following a lot of sobriety channels on Instagram and someone wrote "I may always have one more buzz in me, but not another withdrawl." In my case, nothing could be more true. Having to hide from my husband that I couldn't open my hands to grab a glass of water is something I never want to feel again.
    I was thinking last night about how I will talk to my three young daughters about pills. This society is so obsessed with them. Will I ever tell my story? Will I use my weakness to convince them to never take them? Have I set them up for a lifetime of addiction? These are the thoughts I'm going to battle as I continue on my journey, but I'll work through them.
    Thank you for writing - congrats on your story of healing and victory as well.
    True concern and Dominica like this.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I love that, @Jean756. Thanks for sharing it.
  8. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Jean756

    Hello there and welcome. I'm so glad you're here sharing your story and I'm super happy to hear that you're off of Tramadol. 5 days is a wonderful start! Regardless of what's happened in the past or how many times you've tried, today is a new day. This is a new start. This is you drawing a Line in the Sand and saying "No more!" Taking your power back.

    Who knows why at this time in your life, but perhaps you can go inside and get some answers there. Can your story help others? Absolutely. And I do believe you'll know how to approach the topic with your children one day.

    I do want to add that if you feel as if you're having other issues underneath, perhaps spend a season with a good therapist. Sometimes underneath addiction there are some core issues that are begging for your attention. Most commonly are things like depression, anxiety, fear, unhealed emotional wounds, and so on.

    Again I'm really happy for you and proud of you. Know that we are here to listen and support you however we can.
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  9. Liola

    Liola Senior Contributor

    Jean756,
    Thanks for responding to my thoughts to you. You actually helped me a lot by sharing that. One other thing to remember (i speak from my own experience) is that it only gets harder every time...if we are so lucky to have "another time". It is progressive.
    I do believe it is also genetic but I am not sure if it always goes from parent to child. I got my addiction genes from my uncle but I got a lot of my emotional struggles from both parents issues. I grew up in a loving home with both parents but each had their own "issues" although not drugs or alcohol.
    I am beginning to see how pills or drugs or any form of a drug is not the core issue. It is how I learned to feel differently than I felt. Meanwhile it stole my soul and stopped working and i only have glimpses of hope and feeling joy now.
    I know I have to begin to get gut wrenching honest and work my 12 steps honestly with my sponsor to get the joy and freedom I thought I had but never really did have. I was in a prison thinking I was all that...until I started hating myself and talking to myself in negative ways that kept and keep me stuck.
    I have to do everything differently now including the way I talk to myself (and others).
    For me, secrets keep me sick. I am a big secret keeper. I know I am limiting myself with this. I tell a lot but not all...and that is half measuring things...and they say, "half measures avail us nothing". Nothing! not even half results so I have a lot of work to do on myself and thankfully I am in the process of the first step of 12.
    This is for me though.
    You did so much on your own and accomplished it! Just keep doing what you are doing daily! It is a daily thing to stay clean.
    Stay in touch with us.
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  10. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Hey, @Liola... You got in. Is your password working alright now??
  11. Jean756

    Jean756 Member

    Thank you. This board is amazing, especially given I can't talk to my friends/husband about this. I know I have anxiety. I struggle with all that is on my plate and living life every day, but now I'm absolutely terrified to get hooked on an anti-anxiety med. I started seeing a therapist two weeks ago, but I didn't tell her about the pills. I saw her once while high, and once on Thursday (which was day 1). Maybe I can learn alternate ways to cope with anxiety that doesn't involve taking something. At any rate, I know I am not there yet (I'm still experiencing w/d symptoms: I'm freezing, easily agitated and my head is pounding), but I'm trying and will continue. Thanks to all of you for your support when I had no one else to turn to.
    deanokat, True concern and Dominica like this.
  12. Liola

    Liola Senior Contributor

    so far so good thanks to your help!
    deanokat likes this.
  13. Liola

    Liola Senior Contributor

    Hi Jean756,
    I'm confused (easily confused over the past 4 months so its not you) and want to understand so I can both relate and maybe share any experience or thoughts to help (both of us).
    Ok, I thought you got through the worst of the first 5 days on your own with nothing but you did see a therapist (good move) but they put you on a "comfort" drug to get through the anxiety the withdrawals were causing? Ativan or Valium?
    That is what happened to me when I went through detox in June for opiates (many but most recent oxy) and muscle relaxers and cocaine. They did me a huge disservice by sending me home on meds I hadn't taken before like ativan and adderal and continued me on soma when I was off of it in detox! They used a very low dose and quick taper of suboxone which I was also sent home with. All were awful to ween off of on my own. I am still struggling and feeling the withdrawals in having heat waves and emotional discomfort and insomnia. Each day is better and then boom I will have an awful day.
    Is the therapist an addictionologist? or specializes in addiction?
    My tale of woe and caution is: switching seats on the Titanic!
    deanokat, True concern and Dominica like this.
  14. Jean756

    Jean756 Member

    Liola,
    I am not on an anxiety med. I am worried to go on one. So I am trying therapy to work through it without pills. I’m seeing a regular therapist, she specializes in a bunch of things, not only addiction.
    Thank you for sharing your story. It is helpful to hear. And congrats again. I have done research on PAWS and hear that can be really hard. Withdrawal is hard but the mental anguish for the months that follow are scary too. Seems we both have a long journey ahead but stay strong. It sounds like you want this. Every day is a chance to make it happen. Keep in touch.
    deanokat, True concern and Dominica like this.
  15. Liola

    Liola Senior Contributor

    Jean756
    see, i am still so cloudy sometimes...i read your post all wrong. so sorry. I'd love to keep in touch! I know my pic is of a guy but it is my brother. I am female as you so thats a good bond and fyi i am 57. Too old for this. You quoted about not having another withdrawal in you...i feel i don't have another recovery in me. I think its so rough for a reason...so I never forget or have to go through it again but unfortunately I do have to go through it now.
    Think about telling her about the pills. It could be a keyhole to an issue or issues you don't even know about and she has to keep it confidential...just think about it.
    deanokat, True concern and Dominica like this.
  16. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Liola so glad you're here in the forum, and that you're doing well. You're right...it is only rough for a season. Then, more freedom, joy, peace. Not perfect, as life is not perfect, but more emotional stability, more good days than bad, more truth...more peace, more joy, etc.

    :) hugs
    deanokat, True concern and Liola like this.
  17. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    I'd tell therapist about the pills too. She will not be surprised....and I think being able to be gut-level honest with her can help you heal.... :) The anxiety, maybe she can help you learn ways to manage.... not with medicine, of course. I'd be afraid of that too!!!

    This is all a process...a journey. and you're on the right road! congrats for that.

    hugs
    deanokat, True concern and Liola like this.
  18. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    @Jean756 I am also very proud of you,day 5 is a huge accomplishment, I feel bad I haven't yet commented,usually I jump right in and start typing but honestly I don't know anything about Tramadol, it's one I never abused or used..thank God I was addicted to enough, I also am trying to figure out thing's sober and I'm trying to figure out what "Balance" is:confused: as my story leans more towards @Liola in the substances I abused and honestly I have been working on me through this site for 10 month's or so now after 20 year's of very poor decisions and very serious addictions,so I have just been following your story and the comments from other's, the support here is amazing and I am happy to hear you are making it through this. I don't have much to add as far as advice, the other's have pretty much said it all but I just want you to know if nothing else you can add one more person in your corner rooting for you. STAY STRONG AND GOD BLESS ;)o_O;):eek::eek::eek::confused::):)..sorry emojis sometimes catch me off guard and I can't stop laughing at them lol.Take Care
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  19. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    deanokat and True concern like this.
  20. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I crack me up with the emojis...lol
    deanokat likes this.