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Dealing with Judgement

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by kassie1234, Oct 17, 2015.

  1. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    How do you deal with judgement?

    I have to admit it's something I struggle with, still. Judgement about being a former alcoholic, or just judgement on the way I live my life, the way I parent, and so on.

    I know deep down that I need to let things be like water off a ducks back but sometimes I guess I'm just overly sensitive to people being critical.
  2. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    You can't stop people from talking so you have to change attitude.The best response to being judged is to turn it out around and use it as a weapon. Don't let the criticism or how people judge you hurt you. Think of it as a reminder of a horrible past you don't want to go back to. Sometimes you need these reminders to keep you from falling.
  3. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    People will judge no matter what you do, and it doesn't matter if you've been an addict in the past or not. What you have to do is live your life the way you best see fit, you could judge others but instead just concentrate on yourself and the people that matter.

    Everybody else doesn't count at the end of the day, just you, your friends and family and the people that have been there for you.
  4. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    We can never please anyone. There would be times that some people would try to mock us, make fun of our past experiences, and judge us right away. We don't have control over that, but we do have control over our emotions and reactions. Just focus on yourself and how you can improve your life.
  5. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    That's true - I feel like that's just the way humans are, addict or not you'll still get judged. People pass judgement all the time simply because you're doing something differently than they would do. I have to remember that and try not to let people get to me so much.
  6. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    I know this is much easier said than done @kassie1234 but what works for me is to pity those who judge. Pity their lack of empathy and their closed minds.
  7. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    People will always judge and people will always talk. There is not much you can do about it. You just have to not let it bother you. Easier said then done I know. Live your life for you and only you. What everybody else thinks or says doesn't matter. Be happy!
  8. Being judged sucks, I get it. Nobody wants to be judged and unfortunately we live in a society where if someone is getting help we love to point and make remarks, but in reality it's better to be judged for seeking help rather than being judged for not seeking help. Even then, you shouldn't let those who judge you control you. You want to know something really sad about the whole thing? People who do that generally have low self esteem already and are looking for someone lower than themselves to point and laugh at; it's one of the reasons the internet is completely full of people making fun of one another. It's sad and pathetic, but that's human nature. Be better than that and don't let them hold you back.
  9. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    One of the worst feelings in life is being judged, there was a time in my life when I was (and I still kind of am) terrified about being judged, I'm the type of guy who people find really interesting and entertaining to watch, so it's a constant feeling...but through this year I've learned that there's nothing wrong with me, I'm not doing anything bad! What they think about me it's not of my business, I don't need to lose my time caring about their opinions because at the end of the day everyone is going to judge you, because that's what humans do to understand the world. You don't need to care about what they think, if you're happy and you're feeling comfortable that's all that you need.
    Water off a ducks back!
  10. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    People will naturally have an opinion, whether positive, negative or neutral about you, so that's one thing that you can never control. But what you can do with the negative comments is not let it affect you, and if you do get affected, then change your bad habits so that people will not have anything bad to say about you.
  11. lexinonomous

    lexinonomous Community Champion

    There comes a time where you have to really stop caring and focus on yourself. It's hard to let go of people's judgement, but if we don't let go of other's opinions, we will never move forward. The biggest support system you have is yourself. You just have to keep pushing and prove everyone who doubted you wrong.
  12. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    I'm with you on this one. I mostly struggle with judgments about the way I raise my kid. I get comments as to why I'm still breastfeeding him or why I don't let him use gadgets and such things. I used to be affected by such judgments or comments. But really, he is my child, I know what's best for him and I know I'm doing what's best for him. I am judging other parents for the way they raise their kid if it works for them. I may not agree with their techniques and methods, but I'll never tell them to do otherwise.

    So my suggestion is to just let the judgments pass. Focus on yourself, your kid and your family. Those people who judge you? They don't matter. What they say doesn't matter. What they do doesn't matter. What matters is how you take care of your family and live your life for the present and future. The past doesn't matter, it's all gone now. You cannot change it. But the present and future is here, they are yours to take and change.
  13. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    Why care? Seriously, if I had a dollar every time someone talked about me behind my back or judged me, I would have never had any financial problems during the time I was addicted, ha ha. Keep in mind that people ALWAYS find something to gossip about, and no matter what you do, they will find a flaw. Learn to ignore them, and not care so much about others' opinion of your life.
  14. Ali16

    Ali16 Senior Contributor

    Everyone has to deal with judgement, in every area....not just regarding drugs or alcohol. I try to remember the phrase "only God can judge me".
  15. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    You just have to get to a pace where you don't care what other people think. What matters is YOU and your health.
  16. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    People will be critical. Some people would even say that they have a right to be critical. But I have lived too long to understand that we all do abominable things. And if those who are close to us should know some of the things that we have done, they would stay clear of us. The fact is that this is a very unforgiving world and that is why we keep secrets. Now that your addiction is no longer a secret, you have to live a different kind of life to outshine the one you lived before.
  17. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    Only God has the right to judge indeed. He's the only one who is sinless around here.