An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

Death on I95

Discussion in 'Heroin' started by Joshstillclean, Jun 10, 2019.

  1. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    So I'm a recovering heroin addict.
    I can honestly say that I am clean for a good long time from heroin now. And went for a good while without subutex or methadone.
    Recently I have gone back on a low dose of Buprenorphine(subutex). Unfortunately I have done some minor permanent damage to my kidneys. I must have this to function properly/feel well enough to work on a daily basis.
    Anyway I have been reading a lot of threads questioning MAT, continued use of MAT, and the heroin crisis in general.
    YouTube has a short documentary called death on I95. This will answer so many of the posts that i see under the heroin forum.
    And seeing as I relate to this forum the most I wanted to share that. The reason I didn't put the direct link is because there are so many other good documentaries now on this same subject. So when you look it up you will see a plethora of other useful and helpful videos. Hope this answers many questions.
    And people take it from someone who narrowly survived. If you are here sniffing out swapping to heroin as many do...as I did as well, just know that its not the same old plain heroin any more.

    If you swap, one line or one shot could kill you. Even if you get away with a hundred and live, its that one you were least expecting to hurt you that usually does you in. I would know. I've been saved by narcan 3 times...at least.
    Please don't choose the heroin route. I do understand "but I can't get my prescription filled". Been there. I do understand "you don't get it, ill go into such bad withdrawals ill go unconscious from pain". Been there. "It might kill me if I cold turkey". Been there.
    Go to the ER tell them the straight of it. You cannot be turned away for lack of insurance. There is nothing you can say that would make me say the use of heroin in justifiable.
    Ill stop rambling watch the video.
    And God be with us all.
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2019
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Joshstillclean i'm so glad you made it through all that alive... sorry to hear about the kidney damage though...

    thanks for sharing that information. i hope it helps a lot of people too!
    Joshstillclean and deanokat like this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I need that "double like" button for your post, @Joshstillclean. Thanks, brother, for the information. I will watch that documentary ASAP.
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  4. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    I saw this when I first went to the clinic. I'm an hour from Philly. At the clinic they said everyone has fentanyl in their urine when they come in. I was lucky that mine was not laced. A guy in the dosing line said when he went to Philly to cop they would ask which one he wanted. Some people's tolerance is so that they need the Fentanyl or won't get well.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  5. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    It really is insane how much dope some people can do. I tasted everything. Just like you see the guy in the video do. I knew my bitters from my sweets.
    But so many people don't. I came into the scene when heroin was just starting to be cut. And I knew the difference.
    So I know I only ever injected real heroin. I did chase fentanyl though sometimes when i really wanted a high.
    I remember "sleep standing" for hours just thinking the world was wonderful, till I started coming down and then I was right back at chasing that high. And I can't believe (i do but its unbelievable) what I see in that documentary. It only took a hair size line and I was somewhere else. Wherever my mind wanted to be.
    People who have not experienced that have no idea how hard that is to stop. Its not like you can in forget that feeling. So to go from a feeling so good you are willing to do that to yourself to being sicker than you knew existed....
    How is someone supposed to stop that? Without help? I really would like to sit across from the people that made thus sh!t and profit from it and make them see the deaths and ask them to their rich faces.
    Its evil. I don't know what I'm here to do but the deck is (was) so stacked against me its like i got a royal flush hand after hand after hand. Statistically I should not be typing this. I want people to know. To be aware. This is gonna kill my generation and it makes me so sad.
    Atlanta has areas just like that. So im assuming then all major cities do. How is something not being done? How are people just driving by and saying that guys high oh wow, he's out! And just keep driving? Really?
    That's not me. I can't do that. Not anymore anyway.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  6. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    There are many factors involved. I do think many people are afraid to talk about the huge elephant in the room....

    I say we should talk about it... there are more movies these days where addiction is an issue and I think this is good.

    It can be disheartening though, for sure.
    Joshstillclean and deanokat like this.
  7. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    They tried to make a movie about oxycontin....Purdue paid someone off. They were in production. Then just stopped. Everybody went home.
    I say Purdue..I don't know who really, but I know someone didn't want that movie released.
  8. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    I read a book a few months ago about Baltimore and a guy in jail and a DEA nformant and they also talked about the distributors etc. I can't remember the name of it. But I also just saw that INSYS the makers of the Fentanyl spray that killed so many people just filed for bankruptcy. They were ordered to pay millions of dollars and now they won't have to. The CEO is doing jail time which I think the entire Sackler family should do as well. The INSYS guys made a Rap video dancing around a bottle of their spray singing about their money. Just sick. They paid doctors so called speaking fees. Some of the doctors had pharmacees attached to their pain clinics. Talk about double dipping. Go to this doctor and get your script and go next door and get it filled. I saw a documentary on these guys or it may have been 20/20. the nurse pract. was prescribing the drugs and he was high as a kite! he finally got helped and turned on the doctor who is now in prison.
    deanokat, Dominica and Joshstillclean like this.
  9. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    Its a huge money racket. Its a,freaking game. And addicts are the ball.
    Don't even have to be a drug addict, but listen to your doctor(if you have a bad one) and you will be looking at razors, straws, spoons and needles after not too long.
    That's why I'm started shooting. My doctor got arrested. It made national news...I don't know if you remember the pill mill that got busted in Georgia. I was seriously affected by that.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  10. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    No, I don't remember the Georgia one, but I have heard about so many. There was a doctor near here in NJ who had his wife killed because she found out he was a pill mill and was going to turn him in. He was involved with the Pagan MC gang and they helped him kill her then gave a hot shot to her killer. He ended up killing himself in prison. This was in Atlantic City NJ. Her daughter helped to get him convicted. There was another Dr in PA who was trading sex for pills who just got arrested. Another pill mill not far from my house was selling them online and got busted. It's funny, I never knew where they were untill after they got busted and closed. The Physcian Asst. at my pain mgt clinic was asking me to take Oxycontin and I was balking at taking them as I was afraid. He told me don't worry, you are going to be on the meds the rest of your life. Ha, no truer words were spoken. He originally prescribed me 40mgs of Oxycontin twice daily with 4 10mg Percocet a day for break thru pain. It was not long before I was taking them all before the month was up and buying them. They never had a pill count. I was fine with the urine test as I only bought Oxy and that is what showed up. But I asked for early refills too many times and got kicked out. I got into another pain mgt doctor who got me my stimulator put in and I was prescribed only the percocet but of course that was not enough and failed a urine as I had morphine in my system. Funny thing is is stayed in my system for weeks. I wasn't taking it when I failed the urine again. They wean you in a week and you are out. I think these pain doctors need to make you see an addiction specialist if you don't follow the rules and they want to kick you out. If they think you have a problem you probably do and need help. They do nothing to help you. They put so many of us out on the street dopesick looking for pills or guess what? For H. Anything to feel better. I was so ashamed to be in that situation I couldn't ask for help.
    Joshstillclean and deanokat like this.