Death

When we truly want to end our own lives the biggest questions began to be answered. Being in a place where you do not want to live provides a different lens to look out on life. Overcoming an addiction is truly work! The only way to understand our own disposition it to acknowledge our openness to understanding. For some, the process will be easy, due to the fact they always reflect on their well being. However, for others, they do not care to self evaluate. Of course, it takes work and drive to want to alter your disposition, but it can pay off in the long run. Has any one else felt like life did not matter?

I've been surrounded with so much of the Grimm Reaper's presence that to me life is way too precious, even if you may suffer many hardships along the way in the end, everything that you've experience makes up who you are, who you will become and what you will accomplish... I've may have had my doubts from time to time but that doesn't mean completely give up!... I just simply suck it up and keep moving forward... So yeah... =w=

I used to have suicidal thoughts when I was a teenager. Way back in college, I was extremely depressed. I felt like I was out of touch with reality, and I didn't try to open up my feelings to other people because I thought they just wouldn't understand. I am glad I was able to overcome that phase in my life.

That's a bad path to send your mind down, friend. When you start thinking about death, the pointlessness of life or even existence for that matter you just keep falling further and further. There's no answers to find, no bottom floor or walls to that vast pit of thought, you'll just drive yourself insane or even more depressed the more you think about it. I know recreational drugs are used to take your mind off those thoughts, but that's only temporary and will make the thoughts that much worse the next time around. Just focus on the progress you're making (don't sweat or worry about any bumps along the way) and after forcing yourself long enough you might start noticing you can take pride in it.

A lot of people have been there at some point or another. I used to a lot when I was an alcoholic. Life IS precious and it's not even worth it to focus on the negative thoughts our minds come up with. Focus on the future and doing better.

I truly love the tenacity you show in various parts of your life. keep it up!

The conceptualization of happiness excess in each of us, we just have to be open to finding it.

Positivity, will get anyone through tough times. It is when we become negative, the process is elongated.

When you manage to fight back the demons for a little while it gets easier to see it as a positive challenge, something that you can take pride in which only helps your motivation all that much more. Of course it's extremely difficult at first, and there will be relapses (don't try to delude yourself into thinking otherwise) but it does progressively become easier. I wish you all the best on your path.

I've had my fair share of ups and downs. Some days I just want to dig a hole and hide myself in it and never come back to the surface. Some days I am cheery as fu*k. But I have no fear of death. It is the final step to this grand scheme of things.

Yes, recently I went through one more disappointment in my life, love life to be precise. Love plays a major role in my life, it moves me, gives me energy, makes me be productive, and opens new horizons to me. When there is lack or love, no love, or when love is being taken away from me, I feel very depressed, and very blue, to the point when I would just sit in my room and not go out for a week or two or more, not even in my yard. I would cry myself to sleep every night.
So, after this last disappointment, I though of death, of me ending my life, and of the ways to do that. I often woke up at night with the realisation that one day I will cease to exist, and only at these rare situations did I actually feared death. But, It usually lasts for a few moments...Sometimes I wish I could think of me disappearing into nothingness because it seems to be the only way that stops me from hurting myself. I used to love life a lot, and everyone knew me as a positive, outgoing, happy person. I used to smile and make others smile. I used to make everyone happy, It was a part of me. Then, I got a couple of bad downsides in my life, along with a broken leg, immobile for almost two years, and disappointed and hurt in love by some boys, too...jobless, too.
Sometimes I wish also I at least had a job and that that would help me go through life a bit easier, without thinking that life has no meaning for me...

Yeah, it sometimes seems like it would be easier to end it all. It could be easier for me, but it would literally torture those that I care about. The people around me who have really tried to help do not deserve it. And it would be a miserable legacy to leave to my son. Life can be difficult but there is an old saying that "it's darkest before the dawn" and I hold on to that. I am not actively suicidal at all., but sometimes those thoughts creep into my mind, and I know that many people feel that way from time to time.

Maya, A book called Codependent no more by Melanie Beatty might help you. I know that you struggle with relationships as do I, but we can not define our self worth based on what someone else thinks of us, just because someone rejects us, does not mean we are bad or unworthy at all. It usually says more about them thne it does about us.

@kgord I will definitely try to find that book, though I live in Serbia, I doubt there is one, but I will search. If you say it can help me cope with disappointments and feel worthy of myself again, I will give it a try.
Yeah, I am sure that everyone of us has those moments of feeling blue, thinking about death, or hurting themselves in some way, just because it is really hard to just go on living if everywhere you look around, there are destruction, annihilation, disease, evil, disappointments, lack of love, no real friendship, families hate their members, people are envious of each other, there is no more humanity. But, the thing is that no matter how desperate life can look like, every morning when I wake up, I realise how lucky I am to just be alive, and have the chance to meet with this world that hides wonderful things. We just have to be lucky and patient enough to meet those things.
Thank you for the suggestion.

I actually have the sequel to that book here, Beyond Codependency which is excellent as well, but to be honest, I have not read the whole thing. I thought the parts I did read though, were well thought out and informative. It was a great book if you ask me.

In our life we cannot deny the fact that there will always be ups and down no matter how good we are leading our life. Depression, stress, emotional problems are all part of our journey in our life. But no matter what these are not the reason for us to think that it is already the end of the world for us or to end our life. Life is beautiful and all we have to do is for us to face the realities of life as we can. All of us can survive life and we just have to think positive in all aspects of our life. That is why always think that your life really matter and it is meaningful as you might know.

I was once consumed by the thought that everyone's lives didn't matter because we all die anyway. But then I backtracked and realized that this fact gives us all the more reason to make a difference and lead meaningful lives. Life is like a one-way train and if we don't make the most out of it, then the ride would be all for naught.

Wow, really?? That is so cool. I would really love to know more like which Country on the Balkans he came from, etc? Please send me a message and tell me everything you know. Have you ever visited the Balkans? Were you ever interested to find out more about the Balkans?
Btw, thank you for your help, I found some pdf file on the internet of the book, since it is nowhere else to be found, like not any hard copy, etc. So, yeah I did something illegal (I am a bad girl...), but I had to find the book. I have already finished two first chapters and I can say I am codependent...afterall