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Discussion in 'Sober Living Homes' started by TristanDH, Jul 13, 2015.

  1. TristanDH

    TristanDH Member

    The family of a friend of mine think he relapsed and got back to the pipe after eight years away from it. They're considering sending him to a sober living home. Does anybody here has any a similar experience living in a place like that and being addicted to crack?

    I think he'll agree with their decision, because after all this time of working his way out of the drug, he seems to understand, at least rationally, that he can't live with the pipe anymore...
    jeremy2 likes this.
  2. MzDTL

    MzDTL Member

    I am not technically familiar with that scenario, however I do know someone. She was addicted to crack for one year. Her family was trying everything they can to help the individual. So we found a sober living home that is close by the family. We visited everyday, of course the first few months was hard for the individual, to let her family members to see her in a vulnerable position. She was living in the sober home I think close to a year, and don't get me wrong she had her trips and falls but she conquered it, and now she is happily married with a child.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @TristanDH... My son spent about 15 months in sober living homes after he got clean from heroin. My take is that sober living homes are an invaluable part of recovery after someone gets clean. My son left residential treatment and moved right into a sober living home. Being in that setting really helped him with the transition from rehab to "normal" living. Being in a house with a group of guys in recovery was such a benefit. But the most important thing was the structure. Addicts really don't have any structure in their lives. When they go to treatment, they're in a structured setting. If they leave treatment and go back to "normal" living, they have a very strong tendency to fall back into old habits. (At least that was the case with my son after earlier rehabs.) Good sober living homes--and like anything else, there are good ones and bad ones--provide a continuation of structure through assigned chores, mandatory meetings, house rules, etc.

    Most sober living homes require new residents to be clean for a specific period of time, so such a residence wouldn't be a place to get clean. I would seriously question any sober living home that did allow an active user to move in.

    I hope this info helps a bit. I think everyone who gets clean should spend at least three months in sober living before transitioning back into the "real world."
    pineywood likes this.
  4. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    I know your explanation will help many understand they dynamics of a sober living home, myself included Often times, there is a misconception about the importance of going through a period of remaining clean before going into a sober living home. As you point out, having structure in one life while going through the steps to recovery is vital.

    By the way, it would seem counter-productive for a sober living home to take in residents before this step of remaining clean for a specified time period. Good warning about being cautious of a sober living home that did not require residents to go through the first steps of recovery before admitting.

    Note - edited last line in relation to typo errors to clarify my point.
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2015
    deanokat likes this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @pineywood... My son actually spent time early on at a sober living home that didn't require all residents to be clean and sober when moving in. The owner of the house accepted court-ordered residents, and they were moving in while they were still in active addiction. It was a mess. My son encountered guys shooting up heroin in the bathroom! Sober living homes aren't really regulated, at least not where I live (Michigan). You really have to do your homework before making a decision. Unfortunately, there are a lot of sober living home operators who are just out to make money and have no problem taking advantage of people who have issues.
  6. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Although I do not live there anymore, coincidentally Michigan is my hometown, too. I wonder about the lack of regulations. I am not familiar with Michigan courts ordering people with addictions to be residents at sober living homes. My knowledge is also limited to jurisdictions where drug courts are available vs jail sentences. but I do know some states that offer this option for those with addictions. In the scenario, in which there is a choice to more of less voluntarily become a resident of a sober living home, again you offer wise words of advice to do your research first.

    It is, indeed, a sad fact that you share about some owners of these homes, as in the case of your son, did not ensure the home was drug-free. Again, as I stated in other posts, glad you are able to share the success of your son overcoming his addiction, even with obstacles like this occurring!
  7. Chriswriter

    Chriswriter Member

    Didn't work for me. I needed to be around my family and still to this day I don't understand why they wanted me there too. They must have the patience of saint because when I was drinking, I was not a nice person to be around. But they loved me and I loved them - and alcohol. But they won, and the rest is history. In short, sober house was depressing for me, and I have my families patience to thank for my being given another option
  8. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    It is refreshing to read about a situation, such as yours, where your family had the perseverance, strength, and wisdom to help you. Sometimes, this is not an option. Therefore to have a facility; such as, a sober living home is a life saving resource.

    If you do not mind, could you share more about why the sober living home was depressing? Was it being around other addicts, the staff, or your situation that was depressing?

    I did read some of your words of wisdom in another post, "This was the single most important factor in my successful recovery. I started doing things I used to do before I became addicted, and when doing them I could remember my life before. It was better."

    Do you have more words of advice for others who find themselves in a sober living home?
  9. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    I don't have a similar experience personally but from what I've observed from a couple friends who were addicted to crack, spending time in sober living homes was crucial in their recovery. Nothing beats that time spent there and most of my buddies were able to quit in under six months. So i honestly think that your friend will benefit immensely by spending time there.
  10. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    Sober living homes have helped many people quit drugs. He will get to live with other addicts and learn from their experience. He will also be motivated and I am sure he will be able to quit. From there, I hope he will lead a positive life.