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Do Not Be Afraid of Your Feelings

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by irishrose, Dec 13, 2015.

  1. irishrose

    irishrose Community Champion

    Often addicts abuse substances in order to dull or numb their feelings, then when they become sober, they have a hard time dealing with their feelings. Do not be afraid of your feelings. Having feelings is a part of what makes us human! Express your feelings in a healthier outlet, such as journaling, art, therapy, music, or picking up the phone and calling a friend or a loved one. What are some other ways you can more positively deal with your feelings?
  2. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    This reminds me of a song from The Lumineers which are one of my favorite bands. A line in one of their songs says "it's better to feel pain than nothing at all" and it's always hit home with me because I think that's very true. Yes, pain isn't a pleasant emotion, but numbing every single emotion out there means that you're kind of just existing and not really living, you know?

    I try and positively deal with negative/tough emotions these days by exercising, talking with family or friends about my stress, and doing what I can to fix a situation but understanding that sometimes there may not be a fix.
  3. GettingBetter

    GettingBetter Senior Contributor

    *phew* I wish I could say I feel this way but I have had some really dark feelings lately in grief and mourning. All I know is it's a lot easier said than done! I have had some emotions that were so bad and out of control I had no other options than to seek psychiatric help.

    Self help options are still important but sometimes feelings really ARE overwhelming and it is better to seek medical help than try to numb them in other ways.
    Rainman likes this.
  4. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Sometimes, I experience episodes of depression, and anxiety. To deal with these emotions, I would just often resort to writing, reading novels, listening to music, or watching movies. Sometimes, just talking to my best friend, and my special someone would also make me feel so much better.
  5. Scooby Snack

    Scooby Snack Community Champion

    One of the best pieces of advice I ever got during a rough time was a friend that said "allow yourself to feel like sh*t".

    She didn't mean to wallow in my emotions, but because of those words I was able to allow them to flow through me more freely.
  6. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    There's only one way I can think of: never try to escape from what you feel. As one author would have said it, "the only way out is in." Face your feelings. That's the only way you can come to terms with them. Besides, nothing lasts forever. There's a chance that whatever you're feeling now, it wouldn't last forever. Sooner or later, a different emotion will replace it. Just keep the faith and hold on.
    serenity likes this.
  7. Shenwil

    Shenwil Senior Contributor

    It is important that we get in touch with our feelings. Like you said it can be hard to deal with them after recovery. I think just talking about it is the best way to go.
  8. pstrong1969

    pstrong1969 Community Champion

    I tend to keep all of my feelings stuffed inside me. Im used to numbing them out. Thats definitely not the most healthy way of dealing with feelings. Im slowly learning "this too shall pass". If i allow myself to feel the feeling no matter how uncomfortable they are they will pass. I agree the best way to deal with emotions is to talk about them. I dont do this very well. I dont want to go back to using drugs to deal with my emotions so i deal with them the best way i know how.
  9. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    Feelings are important and you should never fear them. In fact, fear itself is just a feeling and is an illusion. There is nothing to fear but fear itself! It is possible to learn how to control your emotions and that doesn't mean ignoring or suppressing them. You should see your emotions as a feedback mechanism between yourself and the universe. Emotion is energy is motion - send out positive energy and you'll get positive energy back!
  10. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I think a lot of people try to suppress their true feelings and for drug users that's even more the case.

    Drugs are a way to run away from your fears and while it usually doesn't start out that way, more often than not that's how it ends up.
  11. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    My advice always is, embrace whatever "bad" feeling it is you are trying not to face, it's the only way to rob it of it's power. Because eventually you have to deal with your feelings [drugs don't make them go away] the sooner you deal with them or make an attempt to deal with them the better off you will be because time will heal all wounds eventually or make them hurt less.
  12. Dwayneu

    Dwayneu Community Champion

    Feeling bad, depressed, angry, lonely etc. used to be an active fear of mine. It was like I didn't want to feel it so badly, that I'd resort to numbing it with substances and escapism. Now I've learned to embrace them, and I can observe them more objectively, without giving them control of me.
  13. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    Emotions can be exhausting but you have to dug deep and figure out why you feel the way you do. It is not always easy, but once you figure out why you are feeling down and out, you can start to fix those things.
  14. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Yes, it is hard to get in touch with your authentic feelings when you bury them, drown them etc. but it must be done in order to move with life in a healthy manner. It is just one of the things that everyone healthy does.
  15. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    Addicted people is often afraid to show off whatever feeling coming across whether while in addiction or recovery because they are predisposed to be criticized and fear to be hurt.

    However I believe that expressing one's feelings is natural and should not be refrained, particularly when it comes to crying if this is what many times we are moved to do.
  16. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    I always write about my feelings. I do not like to express them, but I love writing them down, only to never read them again. It is fulfilling, and it's the best way to get rid of the overwhelming emotions burdening my soul. Paper never judges you.
  17. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    I totally agree with this. In fact, it's one of the main reasons I became a writer and a musician. Being able to take all of your experiences, insecurities, all the things you have on your mind and all the things that are bothering you and being able to put them into some kind of creative form, such as an article, book, song or album and then releasing them is like having a huge weight taken off your shoulders, even if no-one reads it or listens to it. The internet, however, provides a medium which allows you send that creativity out into the world so that others can relate to it and you could find yourself becoming a source of inspiration for others.
  18. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    This is true. Some are afraid or dislike their feelings. The good, bad, and indifferent feelings are all best to embrace instead of fear.
    The best way is to just feel it no matter what it is. Enjoy it. If its bad try to lighten it up. The feelings themselves are addictive. Fear, sadness, anger, rage, hate, or whatever. The wiring in the brain makes a connection and we seek it out to get a fix. If you don't like it, rewire it. Consciously make new connections and associations.
    Hobbies are a good way to channel feelings or make a distraction from them.
  19. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    True, emotions are fleeting and they are changeable, so even if it will take you a long time to recover from hurt or any negative emotion, rest assured that you will be able to get past those negative feelings. I think venting to others can help you deal with your emotions as compared to keeping it all inside of you.
  20. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    I often saw how my opinion on people changed. For example, I used to hate someone's character in the past but just because they don't care what people think and they do what they feel like doing is enough to change my opinion. Just own up to it, there are a lot of people out there who will enjoy spending time with you and care about you!

    "If you're friends with everyone then... you don't have a character" - Keep that in mind, just be yourself!