An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Do you change your personality?

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by hell2say, Mar 4, 2016.

  1. hell2say

    hell2say Member

    Quitting an addiction can be easy for some whereas very, very difficult for others. Some people just need some time and they can quit it. They get busy in something else or make different friends or even shift to a new place in the process. But for others, that is not enough. Wherever they go or whatever they do, they cannot run away from their inner demons. So, in the end, after much painstaking mental torture and torment, they decide to change themselves, change their personality, change who they are and become someone else - a different personality - just for the sake of quitting an addiction.

    Has anyone ever changed their entire personality to quit an addiction? How was the experience? Was it worth it?
    LovesBigFool likes this.
  2. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    For me I don't think I changed my personality - I would say honestly that I just embraced who I was. When I used to drink, a lot of the time I felt like drinking and alcohol was my mask. It would make me seem falsely more outgoing and once I committed to sobriety I had to just embrace the fact that I am actually pretty shy by nature - and that's okay! Allowing myself to be who I am and to lose the mask has been helpful for me.
    kgord, LovesBigFool and hell2say like this.
  3. hell2say

    hell2say Member

    So, you rediscovered yourself in the process of addiction? Wow! Quitting an addiction is really such a wonderful phase of our lives despite the mental torment we face while trying to achieve our goal. To be frank, I had a similar story. I too, was a quite reserved person but nicotine and alcohol had made me an outgoing person. It was the urge to smoke and drink that made me have to wear that mask and go out having parties with friends when I actually never was that type of person. But the wonderful process of quitting addiction has brought me back to life. I have found myself back and am happy than no one else in this world. :)
    kassie1234 and LovesBigFool like this.
  4. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    It was through extreme experiences in life, both good and bad, that I found my path to spiritual enlightenment. I went from being rich and successful to losing everything and becoming homeless. Addiction was a large part of that and then ended up suffering over a decade of narcissistic abuse. Coming out of the other side of all those horrific experiences has helped me develop empathy, love and compassion for everyone and everything. I now feel a part of the universe as a whole. Whilst they may seem negative at the time, coming out of these experiences can often help you see the light.
    kgord and hell2say like this.
  5. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    Same as @kassie1234, I don't think I have actually changed my personality when I quit my drinking and smoking. I felt like I found who I really am that has been hiding for a long time under the influence of alcohol and nicotine. I realized how simple I really am and how happy I am with the simple things in life I'm enjoying right now. I've never been happier.
    LovesBigFool likes this.
  6. remnant

    remnant Community Champion

    There are people who have had to literally change their entire personality to quit an addiction.I know of a middle aged man from our area who was an alcohol addict. He was a dyed in the wool drunkard and sometimes had to be detained in pubs after failing to settle his bills. Today, he is a teetotaller and a born again Christian.
  7. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    I have changed alot in my personality and how I went with life. I have did the ultimate 360. I stopped abusing and letting others add on to my abuse. It took great inner strength that I prayed for and was answered. I can say I sometimes miss who I use to be the again I can not stand the person anymore. I use to be free to love, free to welcome anyone, free to give in to anything. Now I do not allow these things to happen only because I now look after myself and won't allow myself to be hurt or abused.
  8. Though not having changed my entire personality, I have changed bits of it. You do what you want and achieve your goals how you want by internally wanting to do it, not being impacted by an outside force. Therefore this internal force will allow you to embrace your self, rather than turn you into a entirely new person.
  9. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    It's not the personality that should be changed, however. It's those unstable habits that, when put together, disrupt your sense of order, your direction and your overall purpose in life. When you find solutions to these dysfunctional ways, you start getting your life back on track.
  10. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    Personality changes. We are not the same person that we were two years ago. However, change in the personality is not voluntary, in fat personality change involuntary. You may try to change your personality, however, it will be just an acting.
  11. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    Interesting question that you raise here and in fact I do believe that the personality changes. After all we are for so long under the effect of drugs that we end up changing a lot.
  12. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    I think changing your personality is quite an exaggeration, if you want to quit then you can just stop your bad habit without altering who you are. At the most you can alter your habits and then things will fall nicely into place with the new "drug-free" you.
  13. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    Maybe I misunderstood, but the fact is that our personality is changed by drug consumption and it's not a light change, we become different people.
  14. SashaS

    SashaS Community Champion

    I haven't done something like that before for the sake of an addiction, but I can relate to it. When I was in high school, my personality around my friends was very different to that of when I was with my parents. I would be social and makes jokes around my friends, but I hardly spoke at all in front of my parents because they were ( there is no other way to put it, ) complete idiots. That's not my cliche` teenager mindset, but even to this day I consider them as ignorant, arrogant and foolish people that I stay away from for my own sanity and well being.

    I don't really see changing your personality is a horrible thing, if it's for the best and you're kicking an addiction, then something that simple could help you. For example, if you consider yourself a low life "trashy" person that is addicted to nicotine, perhaps change your personality to a more sophisticated, intelligent person that does not waste their time with cigarettes and drugs. Its just a thought and its definitely easier said than done, but its an idea, which is better than doing nothing.
  15. LovesBigFool

    LovesBigFool Active Contributor

    I think it is a natural part of becoming truly clean and sober that one's personality will change. Addictions cause us to be manipulative. We will lie easily if it get us to our toxin of choice.

    Just the fact that we are free causes a great change in our personality for the better.

    Meanwhile, the animal that is addiction is never willing for you to change. I am not sure it is possible for the personality change to come first, before sobriety.
    gracer likes this.
  16. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I'm not sure if people are able to change their personalities to quit an addiction, even if they wanted to and feel it'a the only way.

    Your personality after all is part of who you are, and that's not something that we can just change. Maybe that's why many addicts relapse time and time again because while they want to quit, it's their personalities deep down that won't let them.
  17. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Yup - I honestly think that rediscovering yourself is a big part of recovery. I think with addiction a lot of the time we lose our way, we lose our sense of self and understanding what we're good at, what our likes and dislikes are, and so I think when we commit to sobriety it allows us to find ourselves again.
  18. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    No, we cannot change the personality just like that. What we can do is try to change our actions, eventually over the years we can make minor changes to the personality. Drugs free I am saying.
  19. Nancy D.

    Nancy D. Senior Contributor

    I would say I changed my perception of things. They way I thought about life changed as well. So yes I changed my personality from being negative to positive when ever possible. In which I have found out that this is a choice. We choose to be happy and positive, it is our mind frame that has to be altered and this in my opinion can change our personality.
  20. hell2say

    hell2say Member

    Yes you're right. We really have no option but to change our personality. We have to break free from our negative psychology and be a positive and determined person to get out of addiction.