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Does drinking every night means you are alchoholic right off the back ?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by shadegrilllock, Jun 7, 2015.

  1. My bf is drinking every night....Scotch...like three glasses on the rocks....Isn't that too much ?...He behaves nice and he said it relaxes him ...but I'm just scared it's too much
  2. Nadeshiko

    Nadeshiko Member

    Everyone takes alcohol a different way. If it relaxes him, and he displays positive behaviors, I'm sure that he's fine. HOWEVER -- it wouldn't hurt to ask him a few questions. Often, addicts of any substance hide their addiction and deny that it exists. There may be more to your question that you may have not noticed.

    But I wouldn't come on to it suddenly - I'd just slide it into a conversation every now and then. More often than not, an addict subconsciously knows that they're an addict - but won't admit it. If he becomes oddly hostile when you ask him about it - that could be a bad sign.

    However, lots of people drink every night. From a glass of wine to maybe two cans of beer; everyone is different. I don't think that he's definitely an alcoholic just because of this. He'd be an alcoholic if he couldn't function without it and spoke of how much he "needed" it.
  3. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    I think a person does not turn into an alcoholic like this, as he may be drinking after a hard days work and also it may make him sleep better at night and may be enjoying himself as well. If a person spends money on that and can't cope without than that is not good, and the person would need help and also rehab in most cases, but if they can have the support of others than may be able to do it at home. If there are any signs, don't ignore them and try and ask questions and see what answers you get and if they are good answers than may not have to worry too much and see how he answers you and if he does not want to talk then wait for a better time.
    IrishHeather likes this.
  4. IrishHeather

    IrishHeather Active Contributor

    @shadegrilllock This is most defiantly a worrisome place to be, especially with so much attention being associated with consumption these days. If you would have asked the same question 50 years ago, most folks would have thought nothing of it, as his behavior was actually quite common place.

    He is very lucky to have someone that is concerned for his wellbeing. As long as no negative side effects come of his nightly ritual (such as violence or erratic behavior), I think he will be alright. Have you had a chance to let him know how you feel? When you get a chance to speak with him about this issue try to do it in a non confrontational way and tell him you are just concerned for his health. Please keep us updated on how you and he are doing. :)
  5. Totalarmordestine

    Totalarmordestine Senior Contributor

    Drinking nightly doesn't make him an alcoholic. An alcoholic HAS to drink daily, it alters his behavior, negatively affects his relationships with others (you, kids, job) and basically takes the control he has over his life away from him.

    If it was my husband I would think that three is a bit much and every day is also a bit much. I would tell him I was worried and I'd feel better about it if he didn't make it an every evening thing.

    The thing to ask yourself is why does he need it to relax? Is his job stressful? Is his family non-stop? Are you contributing to his stress level? See if there are things you can do to ease his stress and relax him without him having to have a drink.
  6. tarverten

    tarverten Senior Contributor

    You know what is too much for you-what ever is too much for you. If it bothers you, it is time to talk about it with him.
    You are a nurse? You know that drinking that much can ruin your liver. You know alcohol is addicting. If it takes 3 glasses now, by next year it could take 5 or more.
    Can you think of any other reason he might be having to RELAX every night that way? I don't drink much, but I relax with sex, reading, bubble baths, sorting out drawers, folding laundry, and going for long walks. You might ask him to find other ways to relax that include you.
    What are you going to do if you realize he is an alcoholic? Well, do it now, so you can prevent months of agony and fighting.
  7. blastguardgear

    blastguardgear Senior Contributor

    OK, I'm no expert but I think all these people are wrong. He may be a problem drinker, if the alcohol is affecting your relationship, his job, etc. then you need to have a serious talk with him about that. However as I understand it if he was a true alcoholic he would not be able to have 3 drinks a night, the quantity would be going up all the time because he would need more to get a buzz. He also would not be able to stop at three, he would keep drinking until he ran out of booze or passed out. So if you are worried about the quantity that he drinks talk to him about it but without accusing him of being an alcoholic because he almost certainly is not.
  8. thepieeatingjay

    thepieeatingjay Senior Contributor

    That's a good question. i don't think one drink a night consists of being an alcoholic, but I think it depends on why you are drinking, and what happens to you when you do and don't drink. If his personality totally changes after he drinks, I think then you are classified as one. If you are drinking just to relax, and you don't really change I don't think you would be classified as one. But then again, there are some people who are classified as functional alcoholics. He might be doing other damage but if his personality doesn't change to another person such as violent, depressed or manic, I don't think its an issue.
  9. JoanMcWench

    JoanMcWench Community Champion

    He doesn't necessarily have a problem per say. It's absolutely not healthy to drink three 'glasses' of scotch every night. There are some questions you need to answer to better assess the situation: Does he need to drink this way every night? If you asked him to slow it down a tad would you expect a negative reaction? Does he behave in negative ways when he doesn't drink at night? Would he choose drinking as opposed to doing other things with you outside of that? These will help you get closer to a real answer.
  10. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    For how long has this been occurring? If it's say three weeks non-stop then you should seek for assistance or call the attention of relatives and common friends. Something might be awfully wrong with your friend and that's just the start of his alcoholic tendencies.
  11. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    We can't assume he has a problem if we can't see his behavior. Is he acting weird and like a drunk? Or is he just hanging out seriously trying to relax. Just be careful that this type of activity doesn't get any worse. Three drinks might turn into five and so forth.
  12. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    In my opinion, just because somebody drinks every night, doesn't mean they automatically have a drink problem. If they HAVE to have a drink, that can be the start of an issue arising.

    Some people can handle more alcohol than others aswell, I think that actions probably speak louder than words and if his drinking isn't affecting his or your life then at the moment there isn't really an issue.
  13. henry

    henry Community Champion

    I think that anything you do on a daily basis has the potential to turn into a habit, because your body gets used to it. If you really want to know if he's already hooked on booze, tell him to stop and see how much he can last without drinking. If he can't last at least a week, he might be turning into an alcoholic.
  14. Corzhens

    Corzhens Active Contributor

    My husband is an occasional drinker but sometimes he drinks every night when there are friends or relatives vacationing from abroad. We would be treating the guests to dinner and afterwards the boys would go to a bar. It can go on for a week or so until the foreign guests leave for home. That doesn't make my husband alcoholic, far from it.
  15. DancingLady

    DancingLady Community Champion

    I think it is concerning if he can't skip a night or two. I do not know where another person would draw the line though, this is just my opinion. If he isn't getting drunk, he probably isn't in too much danger, but there are still possible health problems from regularly consuming more than 1-2 drinks a night. It's hard on the liver, and some people are more sensitive than others.