so im up late and now ive gotten the mud off of me- another story- im gonna type this and shower then go to bed. this has been bothering me for a while now and ive eaten away at some of it in individual threads but im going to make a whole new thread and let it all out KINDLY! there was another moderator on here who about a year ago told me not to worry the fakes will be found out. in fact most of us are laughing at the show. i was taking it too seriously. at least thats what he said. ive learned i wasnt. he never took it seriously enough...sorry buddy, its true. its in your blog. to the fakes. this is the most genuine site for real addicts ive ever found. it upsets me for people to come on here and act as if they have the one and only answer, there are many in some cases. in some (like being around a bar when your 24 hours sober, as long as its for the right reasons is ok) there is one answer to that. NOWAY! ive seen this alot as well, let me clear this up, or invite someone else to. either one works...ill get the point across. 12 step programs and their strongpoints and shortcomings. i read aboiut a man who claims to have stopped drinking 40 plus years ago-on step 10. i know many repeat the steps thats ok. this individual has a problem with group think mindset in 12 step programs. claims to very much not care about the way others feel about him and just wants to share his ways that might help. ive asked him legit questions and no response. ive called him out on B$, no response. shame, heres another BIG one to me. i dont, nor ever have used because of shame. ive been ashamed of actions ive taken, but i cant think of once that i didnt use to take the edge off of another emotion. for me that was nothing usually. i remember being genuinley depressed twice in my life. i feel extremly empathetic for honest people who are trying hard and struggling. and this takes a huge emotional toll on me. i actually sleep in the woods, just because its peaceful. that how much i hate negative feelings/vibes/-television shows. its why i unplug my tv most of the time. when i boxed, it was to feel. i was never a cutter or anything, but boxing gave me an adrenaline rush that was very alive. so i use for the same reasons. to block out the world or to feel something beyond boredom. not every addict has self esteem issues or are ashamed of themselves. another thats been floating around- self idea of sober. this is kinda rediculous. if you are new here and are wanting to get clean dont listen to some bogus theory on what sober is. sober from (my drug of choice) is never using heroin. not only on new years, or twice a month on payday...come on people. if your sober from it you dont use it. speaking down to young people-old folks, ignorant to the fact folks, there are many young addicts. i would know. i was one. i read a post where someone said a 17 year old college student couldnt understand the science behind the brain and addiction. that was rude! and finaly, and with love, because i really want to help hold this community together- people MUST stop saying hatful things they disagree with! say it kindly! thanks for reading. PS- 4 times now ive read word for word a copy of a report or summation from particular subjects directly from other sites. these are being rewritten so as to not have the link and look as if the poster wrote this. actually i think 5, it doesnt matter. the next person that tries to explain some philosophical crap plagurizing another site-im calling it out. this is illegal. and if you feel a need to do this then i suggest you start the steps over if your are in a 12 step. because you must go through them with honesty. cant steal anothers report as if you wrote it we all know better. i began to suspect this when i read about a poster who had dined with collectors of fine art while in paris, or something equally rediculous - (2nd time! ) followed by a wikipedia report. WORD-FOR-WORD.