An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Don't Compare Yourselves To Others

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by Rainman, Jan 18, 2016.

  1. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    One mistake a recovering addict never should make is comparing himself/herself to others. We've all heard stories of people who managed to beat their addictions without trying too hard or others who were strong enough to not relapse once they stopped using drugs.

    We all are different and if we embrace that fact we can avoid beating ourselves up should we stumble or fail to overcome our addictions as fast as some people we might know [did]. It's relatively easy to give up if you start comparing yourselves to others.
    Winterybella and kassie1234 like this.
  2. jupiter

    jupiter Active Contributor

    That is one of the best pieces of advice I've heard in a long time! Not only for addicts and alcoholics, but for anyone! Comparing ourselves to others, or worrying about what other people think is a task that can never and will never be accomplished. Just focus on yourself and your goals, and you will lead a much more peaceful life!
    Rainman likes this.
  3. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    That's really one downfall of us humans, we tend to compare ourselves to others. For example, we see another pretty girl and we wonder, "Why can't I be as pretty as her?" But then what we don't know is that person is thinking the same thing as well. So the only competition we must have is within ourselves, we should compete to fight off the addictions we have within us. We should outshine that three months of sobriety and make it a year, two years until we're completely sober.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Comparison is the thief of happiness.
    Rainman and L_B like this.
  5. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Everyone's journey is uniquely their own. Even though their lives may be similar they are different in so many ways. We all must travel our own road and make the decisions that are best for us. We many not be perfect and we may make mistakes but we have to keep moving forward. If people compare themselves to others they are setting themselves up for failure. The main thing is to stay focused on you and your recovery. You are the one who matters!!
    deanokat likes this.
  6. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    Everyone is unique in that person's own unique way, which is the most beautiful thing about the world we live in. Make sure to remind yourself that there's no one out there like you, so don't change or compare yourself, ever! Don't get in the way of what "Mother Nature" built, take pride in who you are!
    deanokat likes this.
  7. denise13337

    denise13337 Active Contributor

    This is the best thing you can say to someone whose struggling/trying to recover. Especially when you take into consideration that, like recovery, everyone has different levels of addiction. You can't compare how addicted someone is to alcohol as opposed to others. That's why I've seen addicts who say I'm not as bad as this person. It's the same thing with regards to recovery.
    deanokat likes this.
  8. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I totally agree with you about that. We're all different from one another, and we have got to accept that fact, and embrace ourselves, even our shortcomings, flaws, and limitations. Don't ever compare yourself to other people. You are beautiful, and unique in your own way.
  9. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    It is true that you should never compare yourself to other people whether you are into addiction or not. All of us had our own life experiences and had our own decision making in our life. What is best for other people may not be the right one for you. That is why it is better that you will have your own choices and actions in life.
  10. danjon

    danjon Senior Contributor

    Sometimes there becomes a kind of "one-upmanship" between recovering addicts which I myself have sadly fallen prey to. It's always good practice to reflect on where you've come from in life, and to remember that each of us has different battles to face.
  11. jupiter

    jupiter Active Contributor

    You are right! If we compare ourselves to others, then we are setting ourselves up for failure. It is very easy to look at other people and see what they are doing, and try to measure whether or not we are doing a "good job" as compared to them. But, it gets to complex, because, there will always be another person doing another thing, and if we keep focusing on them, then we don't have time to focus on ourselves.
    ReadmeByAmy likes this.
  12. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    @jupiter You are indeed absolutely right!
  13. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    No two people are exactly the same and you can't compare yourself with others when you are going through recovery. Everyone reaches milestones at their own pace and you have to be accepting of that. Some people are naturally better able to say no and resist temptation more than others. It is all about personality.
  14. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I always try and remind myself to only use the lives of others as inspiration to strive for things in life, not for comparison. Sometimes I do like watching what others do as a way of giving myself that extra motivation to do better. But I know that I'm different, and I'll have my own challenges and so forth as a result of that. That was the case in recovery, and it's also the case with other things in life like learning new skills, getting more fit, and so forth.
  15. rz3300@

    rz3300@ Senior Contributor

    Everyone is unique and brings their own issues to the table. Of course there are similarities, which is where treatment and communication and discussion comes into play, but taking a deep look at yourself is really the key to your own recovery. It might sound a little corny, but I do believe that it is true.
  16. jupiter

    jupiter Active Contributor

    Exactly! Great point about some being able to resist temptation more than others. For some people the cravings may be more powerful. Or maybe, they have a lot going on in their lives at the moment. It is never an equal comparison. Even if it were, if someone falls down, we should offer a helping hand, not judge them.
  17. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    True, it really is quite detrimental if you start to compare yourself to other people during the recovery process. You should just focus on yourself and take it one day at a time so that you won't feel like giving up if you feel that you aren't progressing fast enough.
  18. dalzieleone

    dalzieleone Member

    Absolutely second that. Comparing ourselves to others is a sure way to our downfall. We are all within different paths. We all have different experiences and knowledge. Others recover fast while others take time. Others relapse while others don't. If your pace is slow, don't be disheartened. You are different and that doesn't mean you are not improving. Soon you'll get there. Don't compare your chapter one with someone's else chapter 10.
  19. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    'Comparison is the thief of happiness' as @deanokat accurately stated. It's true of addicts and people in general.
  20. irishrose

    irishrose Community Champion

    Great words of advice @Rainman. Not only can people who are going through recovery use this advice, but really everyone should follow these words of wisdom. By comparing ourselves to others, we bring ourselves down. Everyone is on a different journey, everyone's life has different stressors, therefore one person's path is going to be different from another's. It is important to not worry about comparing ourselves to others and instead, focus on ourselves and our own journies.
    Rainman likes this.