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Don't let people influence you...

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by maxprime94, Nov 8, 2014.

  1. maxprime94

    maxprime94 Member

    A great way to stay sober is to stay away from it completely. When you continue keeping the same kind of friends around (the ones that fuel your problem) you will not be able to do it. They will try to coax you into doing things you are trying so hard to stay away from and it's not worth it. You are worth it therefore you need to put yourself first and cancel out the negativity. Find some new friends that are willing to help you through your problems instead of making them worst.
  2. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    True. But getting rid of friends is very hard to do, especially if such friends are really good friends but simply have a ethanol addiction, which is the usual case with most people's situation I've come across. It'll probably be easier simply to adjust how you and your friends hang out, because people's habits are drawn heavily from memories, thus creating new hobbies and activities create new memories that can possibly replace drinking ethanol beverages. Also, a friend truly respect you, than he/she will understand your indifference to ethanol beverage consumption - if not, then ignore him/her and drop him/her as a friend immediately.
  3. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I agree. It's best to be around like minded people no matter what your lifestyle is and I'd say this is even more true for those who are in recovery. The most important thing is to also not just base your decision on whether or not those friends are partaking in the activity that you previously enjoyed, but moreover just look at their attitude as to whether or not they can be a positive effect on you regardless of what it is they choose to ingest.
  4. Teresa

    Teresa Senior Contributor

    I think when someone is recovering from an addiction it is probably best to cut or limit contact with the friends or crowd who is still doing whatever it is your addiction is or was, at least until you feel confident that your socializing with them wont be a trigger that will set you back. I also think if its someone you are close to you should talk to them and let them know you are no longer doing X, Y and or Z.. and would appreciate if they can support your decision by not doing X, Y and or Z, when in their company. If someone would try to influence or sway you to join is doing or using something you are trying to stop ore have stopped doing and or using, then they have no consideration for you or respect for your relationship, friend, family or other wise.
  5. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    That's right maxprime84. Don't stick with friends who won't do you any good. You'll just all sink down and never recover unless they are also trying to be clean. You can try to cope with the same goal of becoming sober. It may be quite a hard climb for all of you though, so it is good if you'll have people who can influence you all to stop your addiction.

    Your resolve must be firm. Any distractions must be put aside. If they include close friends who just put you down, so be it!
  6. Brady2121

    Brady2121 Active Contributor

    This is some great advice. If you want to know what your future will be like, just look at your friends. Your friends prophecy your future. You become like the people you associate yourself with!
    Adrianna likes this.
  7. CpXi7z1

    CpXi7z1 Member

    After rehab, moving to a new location and befriending people who do not drink or use drugs and who have goals and a healthy outlook on life help former addicts start over and live a meaningful life.
  8. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    Sadly, often when you give up drinking or drugs, you come to realize that your alleged friends were only ever substance abuse companions. Once you remove the alcohol and/or drugs there is nothing left to do together anymore. Also, you might be regarded as a "spoil sport", not participating in all the "fun" anymore.
    There is no need to stay in the company of such people, as they will only drag you down again.
  9. terrainna

    terrainna Member

    It's never a bad idea to clean house sometimes. Letting go of friends is a difficult thing to do but necessary if the relationship isn't healthy. Friends can take separation hard. It might help to explain to them that it's not that you think you are better than them, but you need time alone to build confidence within yourself.
  10. Kamarsun1

    Kamarsun1 Active Contributor

    That's true, birds of a feather flock together. I rather live the life of a hermit, then to be around the wrong energy. I had to move away from my old town, and find new people to hang with, it really saved me.
  11. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    In order to get better you need to disassociate yourself with everything that could lead you a stray. People that are a bad influence is one of them. Why would you want to hang around those influences if you want to get sober and clean?
    Adrianna likes this.
  12. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I agree. I think sometimes it takes moving away from your comfort zone and your original environment because most of the time it is that type of environment that drives people to addiction to begin with, whether they know it or not. Starting fresh gives you a much better chance of keeping conscious of the decisions you make henceforth.
  13. NikkiDesrosiers

    NikkiDesrosiers Senior Contributor

    While i think you should definitely avoid temptation where you can -- expecting to be able to completely live your life free from having any run ins with temptation is just not reasonable. You have to be able to learn to deal with these situations - because not doing so is a definite road to relapse.
    Winterybella likes this.
  14. Victor Leigh

    Victor Leigh Member

    I have no problem with going out with friends who drink alcohol while I don't. I just sit with them and drink coke while they drink beer. It's not very difficult at all. I just don't drink alcohol. Period. Doesn't mean that I cannot be friends with or go out with people who drink alcohol.
  15. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    I used to drink a lot, but I don't anymore, and sometimes it is true that if I get around certain people, my urge to drink increases. I've never had a real, huge problem with alcohol, but I have been known to over-do it a time or two. If a person is not feeling strong enough to hang out with certain friends without feeling a strong pull of temptation, then they should avoid being with those friends.

    Some people are stronger than others. Everybody is not the same. If you know that your friends cause you to be weaker than usual, it's best to admit it, and stay away.
  16. ClassyTulip

    ClassyTulip Member

    When trying to stay sober, you are suppose to change everything that reminds you of that addiction. Changing people, places, and things are sometimes so hard to do when you've been surrounded by the same thing all of your life or at least majority of your life. The main goal is to stay sober so it's safe to say that taking this task one day at a time is so worth the mission. The picture seems to be so more vivid when you can actually say, " I have a problem, and I need to change for the better." That is when you get up, wipe the dirt off your shoulders, and protect your sobriety.
  17. ClassyTulip

    ClassyTulip Member

    I agree with you but being strong doesn't happen over night. For some people, if there is a way to relapse, trust and believe they will take that backslide. Those type of people need to have a support group at all times just to acknowledge that they're being judged to stay sober. For others, they know that relapsing is the death of 'em, so they know that "relapse" can't be in their vocabulary. These type of people has basically hit rock bottom and has no other choice but to stay clean.
  18. ClassyTulip

    ClassyTulip Member

    That's so true, most of those friends that you've used with will regard you as "spoiling the fun" because they can't participate with you in that activity anymore. It's a fact that those same friends will be the ones to pressure you into that negativity. It's been proven that you have to change the people you surround yourself with in order to stay clean.
  19. ClassyTulip

    ClassyTulip Member

    Yes, friends are supposed to respect your decisions in life, especially if it's to better yourself. We hold on to the good memories of friends but tend to put the bad ones to the back burner. Addicts create a false sense of security sometime when they are faced with familiar people, places, and things. I also agree with you that when creating new positive hobbies and tasks in life, it will create new memories in correlation with a better foundation to stay clean.
  20. ClassyTulip

    ClassyTulip Member

    Yes, so true. Moving to a new location can sometimes help an addict to protect their sobriety and live a more "meaningful" life. On the other hand, alcohol and drugs are in every city so it's important to not find familiar habits in a new surrounding or the move would be pointless. It's a certain way to handle being sober and it all falls back to taking that journey one day at a time. In any instance, finding a support group, respecting the fact that you are changing for the best, and most of all protecting your sobriety will help to stay clean.