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Don't Rely Too Much On Support From Others

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by Rainman, Dec 29, 2014.

  1. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    A recovering addict needs to have a little faith in their ability to stay off drugs. Quite obviously having someone by your side is great but forget not that what these people do is offer advice when you need it. But supposing they suddenly get yanked out of your life, does that mean you go back to old habits because the person you believed was your anchor is gone?

    Believe in yourself, and keep it in mind that:
    "Well done is better than well said."

    Just keep fighting your cravings. Don't lean on anyone as a crutch. The fight is yours and staying clean benefits you more.
    Winterybella and amethyst like this.
  2. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    No no, I totally agree on this Rainman, I mean, we might need the help of people to quit the addiction, but after that we need our independence, we can't rely on others to live our life.
  3. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener


    Well said Rainman. I saw this happening with my husband and didn't want him to depend on me as a crutch. It was very difficult trying to make him see that but he finally did. For me it was a stressful period. I would often talk about important matters like life insurance policies to get him to start thinking about if I wasn't around what or who would he depend on then. I'm so glad that period is over.
    Rainman likes this.
  4. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I come a family that is all about tough love. So you will get no shoulder to cry on in my family. So.....first and foremost, the individual needs and wants to be clean and sober for any treatment to work. A whole squad of people can kick you ass into rehab, but if you don't want to get better, then it's just not going to work. The addict must want to change.
  5. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    Even if it's tough love, it's better than no love, kicking you ass into rehab is better than ignoring you and pretending everything is all right believe me, sometimes though is better.
  6. pintbean

    pintbean Active Contributor

    I think this is an interesting subject to talk about. I know firsthand that it is difficult to talk to people going through addictions that while you are there to help you can't really be depended on as a crutch. It is up to the addict to make moves for themselves, to better themselves because if they personally don't do that, little will be done to help them with recovery.
  7. d4rk3n

    d4rk3n Active Contributor

    True words.
    I won't argue that support is nice to counter addiction. But in the end, it doesn't matter how much support is given.
    If the addict himself doesn't make up his mind, he can't let go his addiction. Support helps you make up your mind though.
  8. ProShell

    ProShell Member

    A lot of the time the people that you need to get away from are the same people that you could be turning to for support. Family, friends, these are often the same people that drove you to your addiction or continue to spur you to use, either with them or to forget them.

    I wish you the best of luck, the sober path can be a little lonely until you find friends that appreciate the new you.
  9. Peachdejour

    Peachdejour Member

    I can see where you are coming from on this. It can be very easy to become codependent on someone when you are coming of an addiction. You have to remember that you can do this. Even if that support system was not there, you are strong enough to be sober.
  10. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    You are right, Rainman. The biggest part of overcoming an addiction is to find out who you really are. As usually you don't get much of a chance of figuring out what you are really capable of, as your addiction completely takes over your life. You don't know what your talents and strengths are when you are constantly preoccupied with dealing with the effects from drugs or other addictive substances.
  11. d4rk3n

    d4rk3n Active Contributor

    This, exactly.
    You should remember that your addiction isn't the only thing in this world. There may be people who have their hopes pinned down on you. And when you don't do what you're supposed to do, not only do you let down yourself, you let down all of them.
  12. NikkiDesrosiers

    NikkiDesrosiers Senior Contributor

    It's great to have friends and family that support you - but you also have to remember that they do not understand what you are going through - nor do they have as much riding on your journey to sobriety as you do. Learning to trust and rely on yourself is an excellent way to stay positive and believe in yourself.
  13. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    "well done is better than well said." Now that's a good one. Usually one follows the other which is great. If you can get things right generally the words follow. Because in order to get things right you've got to be quiet. This way when you do speak hopefully the right words come out.
  14. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Those are nice words. :)
    Right that one should also believe in himself that he can achieve what he wants and make a change. There are also times that you are the only one you can rely too and you have to be strong against temptations.
  15. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    That's true. We should never rely on other people that much, whether it's for some source of happiness, support or encouragement. Of course, it's good to have someone who understands you, and makes you feel better, but at least try to be your own best friend.
  16. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    The first requirement is your own will power. As long as you don't have will to do it, no external support will work. You must believe in yourself. You must respect yourself.
  17. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    While it is always good to have a strong support system in any area of life, you make a valid point when you say believe in yourself. People come and go but you always remain even if alone. Hence over dependency on others can be dangerous.
  18. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I guess it can be a fine line between having a support network and relying on those people too much. At the end of the day we need to be confident in ourselves and our ability to overcome addiction. Inner strength is a wonderful quality to have, and something that we should nurture in ourselves.
  19. npatel2

    npatel2 Member

    Yes I think that you have hit the hammer right on the nail with this one. When you are trying to kick a bad habit out of your life I think that it is important to have a strong support system to fall back on, but for the most part you should rely mainly on yourself to get the job done and improve your life. I think the main thing is just to think about the end goal and how much better off you will be when you dont have to rely on something negative to determine your happiness.