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Drinking to escape the unfriendly aspects of dealing with people

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by michaelrydell, Aug 12, 2015.

  1. michaelrydell

    michaelrydell Member

    Just wanted to see what people's thoughts are on excessive drinking because of difficulty dealing with rudeness, disrespect, and dishonesty.
    Chakra8 and missbishi like this.
  2. michaelrydell

    michaelrydell Member

    Sometimes I tend to spiral when I've had a rough time dealing with meanness and rudeness. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive, but it just seems like sometimes the day is void of common curtesy, good manners. I wish people in general were more kind. As far as life goes, we are all in this together. I find strength in the few truly kind people that I know, and I try to be strong and consistent for them as well.
    missbishi likes this.
  3. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    I can relate @michaelrydell, people can be absolutely awful at times. It really saddens me at times and I do wonder what on earth has happened to good manners and basic courtesy. I worry that I'm too sensitive as well and sometimes think I should join 'em rather than beat 'em. Then I remember that I'd just be sinking down to their level.

    I take it that other peoples attitudes are causing you to drink to excess yourself? I know that this is easy for me to say but if you continue to allow them to affect you this much then they have won.
  4. sksmith094

    sksmith094 Member

    ^ Missbishi I often times worry that I'm too sensitive as well, the slightest impolite gesture from someone can really set me off... But anyways OP, what you've described was the major factor in my drinking back in the day. I still drink on occasion, but not nearly as often. It used to be: Have a shitty day at work with shitty coworkers -> Get home -> Drink until I'm asleep. Lol.
  5. Chakra8

    Chakra8 Member

  6. Chakra8

    Chakra8 Member

    As addicts we magnify situations easily. It helps me to think about what I can control. The more energy I put into someone being rude the worse it gets. Try to detach from the situation. I at first made it a goal to kill with kindness. This was my way of making the rude person feel stupid and for a while it gave me a sense of entitlement. The key is big picture . When I use I'm only escaping for a period of time and the next day the problem is still there. Dont let them take your light my friend. When you shine there are those around you who will subconsciously project their misery on you. Human nature. The lowest form of communication is words. If I hear them and I'm sensitive and they are talking and don't know how rude it sounds that's when emotions take over and simple things get twisted into chaos. I learned alot from Quantum Physics about people and myself. Read up on it if you ever have time. The law of Projection seems to be present in this situation you describe which in your desciption sounds like my whole life.ha-ha. Just tough through it my friend, be a warrior. A smart man knows his strength but a genius knows their weakness. Alcoholism is just a word, I found that the Root was anger. Anger only destroys your peace of mind. Rise above it! You got this.
  7. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I was always a naturally interverted. I kept to myself but I never got to the level to where I turned to the bottle because I couldn't cope with the relations with others. I do know of people that are like that. They would just shut down when the cloud of people comes around, and they retreat to their comfort zone area and start drinking. There is deep rooted issues there. Something that is deeper then just alcoholism.
  8. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Drinking would but be a temporary solution. If rude people are the problem you intend to deal with why not try to avoid the rude people? Give them the quiet treatment. After a while they'll stop bothering you. If that can't work then I think you might find the articles linked to below useful:

    http://www.wikihow.com/Develop-a-Thick-Skin

    http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/07/06/5-tips-to-develop-thicker-skin/
    Fortunately, even if your skin is paper-thin, you can do several things to make it thicker.
  9. henry

    henry Community Champion

    I know what you mean. Dealing with that type of people is one of the worst things in life. No matter where you go, there's always "that guy" just waiting to make your life miserable. Sadly, alcohol won't make them go away. Believe me, I've tried.
  10. harold

    harold Community Champion

    I do not understand why people enjoy treating others wrongly. We are human beings for heavens sake! Why will one person enjoy causing another to feel pain? Unfortunately, one cannot get an answer to this question. I always say that if life in the world were up to me, the world would be a paradise where people care about the feelings of others. Anyway, the world is is not perfect. I only wish that we, human beings, can come to a stage where we watch what we tell each other or better still, the way we treat one another. I know a lady who only finds pleasure in telling you the worst thing that comes to her mind each time she sees you in a jovial mode. Such people are many out there. I strongly believe that rude people need help just like anyone addicted to any dangerous substances does.
  11. calicer1996

    calicer1996 Community Champion

    That is just plain ignorance. I have no respect for such people. Just get out of your head! This self pity is a dangerous thing. Drinking is just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
  12. sonia11

    sonia11 Senior Contributor

    A lot of people do use alcohol as a "social lubricant". It makes them more comfortable around others, more open, etc. I don't know if drinking is going to give people better manners, but it probably makes you notice their behavior less. I think a couple of social drinks are fine if they lower your anxiety, as long as you can function without it.
  13. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Alcohol is used by many people for many different reasons. For the shy and anxious, it helps them to relax and be more outgoing, for the uptight and stressed, it helps them calm down and stop worrying so much, and people turn to it for various other reasons.

    I think that's why it's so dangerous as everybody who turns to alcohol will have their own reason for doing so.
  14. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    Oh yes, co-workers. Possible the most infuriating breed of people ever! In this situation you have to remind yourself that these people continue to be shitty when they get home. You can't let them make the time you spend at home shitty too!
  15. Zimbitt

    Zimbitt Senior Contributor

    I drink so that I can tolerate people, everyone just seems so fake and full of **** unless I'm drunk then I can just go with it and not hate them.