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Druggy

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by Ethan22, Oct 21, 2018.

  1. Ethan22

    Ethan22 Member

    I am sick of being a druggy
    I am sick of fuc&ing my life up
    I am sick of destroying my family
    I am sick of wasting my money
    I am sick of hating myself
    I am sick of feeling paranoid anxious
    I am sick of having no energy
    Teetee, True concern and deanokat like this.
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Ethan22 Hello and welcome to the Forum. It sounds as if you're quite ready for a new lifestyle. Getting to that point is a good start. I would love to learn more about you. There's a great group of people here who will welcome you with open arms and we will certainly encourage and inspire you the best that we can.

    Take some time to read Around The Forum. I'm curious to know as to what you were thinking in terms of treatment moving forward. Treatment for the drug addiction. Treatment for your negative feelings such as hating yourself or the paranoia. Think holistically like mind, body, and spirit. Recovery is a process and change takes time. We are definitely here to listen and share our experiences and strength with you. I hope that you'll keep coming back. There is definitely hope.
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    It sounds like you're ready to take what my favorite author, Anne Lamott, describes as "Step Zero."

    "Addicts and alcoholics will tell you that their recovery began when they woke up in pitiful and degraded enough shape to take Step Zero, which is: 'This **** has got to stop.'"

    There are any number of ways you can go about starting your journey to recovery. Things like seeing an addiction specialist, therapy, support group meetings, inpatient treatment, outpatient treatment, etc. There is no one path that works for everyone, so the trick is finding what works for YOU and doing what it takes to keep moving in the right direction. No matter what our addiction is, I believe you can overcome it and change your life. The only requirement is a desire to change, and it sounds like you have that.

    Do you feel like sharing more about your situation? What addiction it is that you're battling? How long you've been using? Etc. If you're comfortable giving us more info, we'd love to hear it. And if not, that's fine, too. Either way, we're here to help, support, and listen. So reach out and lean on us anytime you'd like.

    I'm sending you lots of positive, healing energy...and tons of hope and encouragement.
  4. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I would love to hear more as well


    You can beat this but we need a little more info about your situation.If you get time please we care
    deanokat likes this.
  5. Teetee

    Teetee Member

    Yeah man you defo not alone, hope your alright, if you did not want change, you wont be here.
    True concern, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Ethan22... Check in with us if you get a chance. We're here and we care. You are not alone!
    True concern likes this.
  7. Teetee

    Teetee Member

    Defo agree, always worries me when you don't hear from people you think the worse and feel helpless.

    Us addicts are all like Kurt cobain, I felt like I hated the world and wanted to do escape reality for a temp high, sadly for him it did not end well, but obviously I don't believe his was suicide but that's a debate for another day.
    True concern likes this.
  8. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I don't believe it was suicide either and neither does her own dad.......but like you said debate for a different day. @Teetee hey I apologize I haven't reach out to you yet,I'm trying to catch up as I just had surgery a short while ago but I did notice on a thread you had 1 week sober awesome, I was wondering how that's going?I believe the thread you created was "Can't stop relapsing"But I won't swear to it,anyways I pray you are past 1 week by now and I understand that relapse sh*t myself I had 7.5 month's and threw it away for 1 day but anyways I have re focused and am approaching 2 month's again.How about you?
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  9. Teetee

    Teetee Member

    Thanks bruv, its going pretty well man, I got a lot of support, for the first time since 2014 I have made an appointment with a tutor for a tailored plan about my past and how to never relapse again, really looking forward it.

    But honestly my mind or shall I say the devil is playing mind games with me its saying 'Your life is weird without the drugs, look how boring it will be' I know its tricks of the mind because I have been so used to this, I could imagine why it will be saying this, because since 2014 I have gotten high twice a month sometimes I went few months without it, but difference now is I do not have the intention to do it, well as before I did. I cannot risk losing my wife, she gave me many chances and I do not know how many I will get, so I came here for support extra support to not go down this path anymore.

    You always feel that when you want to get high, that this time you will be able to control it, but once you take that line, WOW the eurphoria kicks in and you cannot control it, your watching all sorts on the net such as stuff you usually would not watch (porn) as I never do this sober, I know its the drugs, but at the same time you love it, then you are basically sweating and smelling like crap, you have not ate, you have not left the house in days or most 1 day doing nothing, your wife or anyone who looks at you see's that you are high, they can see your dilated pupils and dry mouth, they are not stupid, this has created problems with me and my wife, I do not blame her, so I do not want to hurt her, she has helped me lot.

    Honestly the high is amazing, I will never lie, but its only good for a few hours, then after that your chasing the first high you had, but you cannot get that anymore all you get is side effects, so the best thing to do is quit and i hope to put it behind me now. Honestly each time I want to get high, I would always say ''this time i will control it in moderation'' but it never end that way, I would easily consume 2 grams in 24 hours or 48, its awful, you cannot sleep on it, trying to go to work is no way happening, because your colleagues will find out your on something! I always had to call in sick when infact it was because I was high, I feel so happy knowing this nightmare is over! ITs so not worth it.

    Anyway man, what you had surgery for? Hope all is well. Are you from America?
    deanokat, True concern and Dominica like this.
  10. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I had knee surgery and it's a slow recovery process much like taking your life back from addiction but worth it and ya dope makes us do thing's we don't do sober my friend that's a fact,that's why now I often say "I am not my addiction " and I realize it's up to me to prove it,it's not easy but nothing worth doing ever is. STAY STRONG AND GOD BLESS YOU Got this and were all here for you any time and yes sir I am American
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  11. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Teetee Hey there! That's great that you've made an appointment with a tutor for a relapse prevention plan. Kudos to you for that! You're right in saying that it's not worth it! The mind will try to play its tricks, but don't fall for it. And know that we're definitely here to support you and encourage you I throughout your journey!
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  12. Teetee

    Teetee Member

    Thanks lot Dom and Concern!! Amazing I got more love from you guys than I have most people who I trusted to support me in real life. I love how the internet can be a huge life saver and helper, but of course at the same time for bad.

    Speedy Recovery Concern, hope you stay clean to and don't take anything just to heal the pain like Cobain did. (may God rest his poor soul)
    deanokat, Dominica and True concern like this.
  13. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Teetee... Don't let your mind win that tug of war. Being clean and sober is only as dull and boring as you make it.

    Just. Keep. Going.
    True concern likes this.
  14. Teetee

    Teetee Member

    Thanks for the encouragement it's exactly what I wanted to hear right now, but I know the first month or so it is the most difficult but hopefully it will ease down soon.
    Dominica, True concern and deanokat like this.
  15. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Anytime, my friend. We are here to help, support, encourage, and listen.
    Dominica and True concern like this.
  16. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I appreciate the thanks but no thanks needed,I say it because I mean it,I support because I care,I encourage because I believe in you. You got this my friend and it is my honor to help when and where I can.STAY STRONG AND GOD BLESS
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  17. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    @Ethan22 Hey my friend I really want to chat with you,your very brave for admitting your sick,I commend your courage......please reach out here to us again, I will tell you I personally am one of the biggest junkies I've ever known,I stayed high and drunk for over 20 years and I have less than 1 year sober and when I first started sharing here I thought I was waiting my time and I was wrong,the people of this community only want to help in any way possible, there is a path to recovery, there are people who care and don't judge and I feel confident when I say we would all love the opportunity to shed light on the good you can't find and the encouragement you deserve. We want to help my friend so please reach out again.STAY STRONG AND GOD BLESS
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  18. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Ethan22... How are you doing? It's been more than a week since you posted here and I'm hoping you're alright. If you get a chance, check in with us, okay?
    Dominica, Teetee and True concern like this.
  19. Teetee

    Teetee Member

    I agree, so sad to not know what the worse maybe, God will you come on here to tell us your alright, we are all in this together, nobody is alone.
    deanokat, True concern and Dominica like this.