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drugs help me loosen up and become more social able

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by EbonyiDoNails, Jan 24, 2016.

  1. EbonyiDoNails

    EbonyiDoNails Member

    I've always felt different and every since the day I felt judged and knew ppl favored some ppl and not others I became shy and I've realized I have social anxiety disorder. As outgoing and friendly and personable I am. I clam up around women. Especially ones I admire. I have a feeling of inferiority and don't know how to be myself. My DOC helped with that a great deal. Especially in my line of work. Another reason I told myself using was ok. But after a while I became obnoxious and kinda sloppy. Too talkative and annoying to ppl I knew. Now I don't go anywhere. I use in private because I spend my personal money on my DOC. Another reason I want to quit
  2. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    There are ways to beat social anxiety without drugs. It's not easy and it can take time and a lot of pain to get over it but some sacrifices are well worth the pay off. I believe the remedy to this would be cognitive behavioral therapy. Of course it would cost some money but once you are done you say goodbye to social phobia forever.

    There are also some free resources you could take a look at first to ascertain whether it could be helpful or not.
  3. loverman99

    loverman99 Member

    Everyone is still dreaming about that magic pill. But come on, life ain't no fairytale. Do you remember the first time you rode a bike? I think, you had failed multiple times before learning how to maintain the balance correctly.

    The same story with girls. I've gotta fail A LOT before becoming successful. Failure helps you understand what not to do, what does not work at all.
  4. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    I think some people do cling to substances or drugs for the temporary feeling of absence of inhibitions they bring. I remember some friends I used to drink with before, their talkativeness automatically comes out every time they were already under the influence of alcohol. But once the effects are already gone, the same old reality of their usual silent self comes out again. Temporary sources of courage are never the solution to improve social skills because they only make things worse especially if we unintentionally hurt or make others uncomfortable when we're under the influence of substances. Your want for change is your first step in finally getting out of the temporary effects of your addiction. I encourage you to keep going and make that change happen. Soon you would be able to find your sociable self without the drugs. :)
  5. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    This can be true but only if you do not over do it and make a fool of yourself. It is okay to loosen up but people tend to drink too much and that can only lead to the other direction. The same thing goes for recreational drugs like marijuana. It is cool to do it until you do too much. My point is that if you feel you need something to relax and your choice is either drinking or marijuana, try to take it slow and never go over your limits.
  6. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    I think for you to get rid of your social phobia, I would suggest that you try to mingle with a small group or even at least 1 person and "practice" socializing from there. Don't use any more drugs to deal with your anxiety since it won't do you any good in the long run.
  7. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    Hi and welcome to the forum! First, since you have social anxiety disorder, I suggest that you seek counselling or a physician's help. I don't know if there is any medication for it but maybe there is. Therapy can surely help you in handling your social anxiety as well.

    Next, with regards to using drugs as a way to loosen up, it means that you have a deeper problem, which is the social anxiety you have. And once you have treated that, maybe it will be easier to let go of the drug abuse.

    It might be difficult to socialise at first, I know having hard time to approach people as well but there is nothing that time and practice cannot solve. The more you are around people, the more you'll be used to talking to them. Good luck!
  8. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Well, I am glad you have now decided to quit all your addictions. Just stay focused on your goals, and keep yourself motivated. Anyway, yes, drugs really have the ability to make us feel a little confident about ourselves to the point that it already gets too much, turning us into arrogant and annoying people.
  9. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I've always been a bit if a loner, and I have a small, select circle of friends that I feel comfortable with but that's all.

    If ever I have to go into a crowd at a party for example I used to always have a few beers to help me relax but that of course led to a few more, and then a few more and it became a habit. I couldn't mix with other people without having that first drink.
    kassie1234 likes this.
  10. Mayoress

    Mayoress Active Contributor

    Whatever works like magic is always life threatening. To achieve most things in life we need to work hard at it. But once you can just take something and it instantly give you what you want, then you need to watch out for the side effects.
  11. djdrug

    djdrug Community Champion

    Well, the good thing is that you realized what was going on. The thing is, if a person just tries to do something that is right outside his comfort zone, he'll be slowly able to expand his social circle and comfort zone. That's the solution to social anxiety, not drugs.
  12. rz3300@

    rz3300@ Senior Contributor

    Well self medication is usually not the answer, and for that I would have to say that talking to a physician is probably the best bet. There are a lot of option out there, some non medication, that can be used for social anxiety, and I think that you are one step ahead because you have realized your problem, so that is good.
  13. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I feel like my situation was very much the same as Pwarbi's - I'm shy by nature and alcohol ended up being the thing I relied on for my "fake confidence" and I guess for being someone other than myself. Eventually though I had to come to terms with the fact that drinking all the time to get through things was not the way to be - and in fact oftentimes it saw me acting a fool.
  14. irishrose

    irishrose Community Champion

    Admitting that you have a problem and seeking out help are the very first steps to recovery, and you have managed to do both of those steps by seeking help on this forum, so good for you and welcome! It is not easy to admit our wrongdoings. It is even more challenging to act on them in order to stop doing them. It is possible with help. Also, by reaching out to others who have been in your shoes, such as people on this forum or people you meet at N.A. meetings, you can learn how to be social without using drugs or alcohol. Also, you may be able to meet new people who do not rely on drug or alcohol use in order to have a good time. Best wishes on your road to recovery! Keep posting on this forum in order to seek advice, there are a lot of great people willing to help.
  15. morgoodie

    morgoodie Senior Contributor

    I also have social anxiety and it is hard to meet new people. I have always felt that I was never good enough and that people were not going to like me for who I am. I would always put my perceptions of myself onto them even if it was not true. The mind can be very cruel. I cared too much what others thought of me. Now, I am at a point in my life that I just do not care what people think of me. If they cannot like me for who I am, then they are not meant to be my friends.
    I think seeking help is very brave and smart of you. You do not need drugs or alcohol to make you a better person. Taking small steps to get out and be around people would help you to relax when you are in a crowd. Just try not to put too much pressure on yourself to be the life of the party. It is going to be a long and often scary road but if you want it bad enough it will be worth it to you. Good luck and thanks for sharing your story.
  16. Scooby Snack

    Scooby Snack Community Champion

    At some point we have to break out of our comfort zone and connect with others. One thing that helps is keeping in mind that, in many cases, other people are just as afraid as we are, and are pushing themselves just as much as you are to connect, to socialize. And even if you think you're being obnoxious or whatever, chances are your ability to move past your inhibitions will give OTHERS the permission to do the same--and get the party started :)
  17. SCSullivan

    SCSullivan Member

    The thing to realise, is that many girls and women, feel exactly the same about interacting with others as you do. It's something that isn't limited to sex, and is something a great number of people suffer from. A good starting point is to learn to like yourself. If you don't like you, then why would you expect others to like you? I don't mean this in a harsh way, but many people have an internal voice which is constantly putting themselves down and berating themselves over every little mistake and failure. Instead of trying to fit in and be like everyone else, try celebrating your uniqueness. There is no one else in the world the same as you, isn't that awesome? When you finally accept that being you is just fine, and you deserve friends and happiness, it will come your way.
  18. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    It's a trap. Many people who suffer with social anxiety or social phobia find that drugs or alcohol lower their inhibitions and make them feel more comfortable around people. However, this is an illusion. Most of the time, in the long run, those substances may appear to temporarily alleviate such symptoms but eventually it worsens them. It's also a route to becoming dependent on substances which is counterproductive and doesn't help. The true cause of your social anxiety is your own thoughts. Change your mind, change your life.
  19. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    People usually are less shy when high or drunk. The problem with this is you loose your sense of self consciousness. Until you can be comfortable in your own skin you'll be controlled by the drugs. You should try to quit the drugs and deal with the underlying issues.
  20. Nancy D.

    Nancy D. Senior Contributor

    What people are after is peace and comfort. Drugs sometimes can give off the illusion of making life peaceful but in reality it is the opposite affect. It is all about what you deem is important and real. The false reality will eventually be exposed for what it really is......false hope.