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Dry January... Who's In?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Dominica, Dec 27, 2018.

  1. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    Dry January begins next month... January 1st.... Can you go the whole month of January without alcohol?

    This health campaign began in 2013 in the UK...urging people to NOT drink for January... and many people have taken this challenge and noted the positives in their lives b/c of it...

    Anyone up for the challenge??

    Feel free to write your journey here too!
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  2. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I'm in
    Aodafml2, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  3. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    My last 10 Januarys have been dry, and I'm happy to make it 11. So I'm in!
    True concern, Aodafml2 and Dominica like this.
  5. Aodafml2

    Aodafml2 Senior Contributor

  6. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    OK so write the journey of a dry january."Warning this may have obscene word's "

    So ya today I am on fucki× FTW mode and I want to drink like wholyshit I can't even stand the anxiety I am feeling over the want to just forget,a 2-3 hour window drowned by alcohol. The fact that I am watching once again a person on meth has me completely pissed off at the world, I don't want it nor do I crave it rather I despise it and it makes a fire burn in my soul that makes me want to just choke slam people.... Not just anyone and everyone but I hate meth with a fierce rage,I was on it for a long time and I am starting to believe I put myself through that to learn what meth does to a person and it's by far the most mind twisting disgusting substance to ever be made,that poor woman who was kidnapped I can't stop thinking about wanting to destroy the cowards who did that...I know I feel that way because of what happened to me when I was young yet the feeling is there,to cause them pain and suffering the way I feel they deserve it and I know this anger is a fuc×in recipe for disaster so now I'm stuck craving alcohol to forget or at least not care for a few hours,yet I made a commitment in this post to someone that means the world to me,she has been by my side for over a year now and I don't want to let her down so I will not drink. @Dominica I love you and I'm grateful for you,I am a bit upset I said I'm in on this dry January but that doesn't change the fact I said it and I won't let you down so even though I'm pissed off at the world I stand by what I said....

    Dry January.....I am still in.
    Dominica and deanokat like this.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    I read this article on the HuffPost site and thought it was worth sharing for Dry January:

    How to Cut Back on Drinking Alcohol

    @True concern... I'm glad you're still in. Remember the Serenity Prayer, my brother:

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And wisdom to know the difference.

    Love ya. :)
    Joshstillclean and True concern like this.
  8. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @True concern thanks for sharing so openly and honestly. the wanting to numb out for a while is pretty common. feeling the intensity of rage doesn't sound easy.... esp when one might be used to numbing emotions by alcohol or drugs.

    i'm glad you're still in. those feelings of anger, rage. i was listening to something yesterday about anger and rage, believe it or not. it was more about projecting those feelings onto exes...and how we tend to do that.... "he was a mean, SOB who never did....who always did....and so on". but this therapist was saying why don't we stop pointing fingers (even if they are SOBs are in your case horrible people who abuse others) and sit with our anger or rage. just the feeling of it.... b/c in all likelihood, much of it stems from trauma from long ago. maybe trauma we've never, ever dealt with in a safe and supportive atmosphere (like therapy).

    anyway, it's something i'm looking at in myself. anger that pops up passively at times.

    oh, and i'm not saying we shouldn't be righteously angry about those men that did those things to those women! we should!!!!!! but if that rage is causing us to self-harm.... that is not productive anger or healthy for us...and may indicate that the emotions in and of themselves are asking us to learn how to manage or regulate them...and i think this is best done with a qualified mental health therapist.

    just my two cents.

    ok, so i'll take my advice hat off now and let you know I LOVE YOU TOO! and i'm glad we are sharing life in cyber ville together!!!

    just for today, let's not numb out with booze, k?
    deanokat likes this.
  9. #ready

    #ready Member

    I'm new here. I'm in!!
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  10. #ready

    #ready Member

    Learning on how this all works lol so bare with me.
    I joined this forum, because I need the help and support.
    I'm scared,, but I can do this!!
    True concern, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  11. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @#ready hello and welcome! glad you are here and ready.... you'll def have some great support here.

    come here anytime... you're trying to quit drinking entirely? feel free to share more about you. no matter what, we are here to support you!
  12. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    So happy that you found us and decided to join our community, @#ready! And thrilled that you're in for Dry January! It's okay to be scared. That's a natural feeling when you're trying to make a huge change in your life. But please know that you CAN do this. You just have to commit to it and be willing to put in the hard work necessary. Will it be easy? No. But I can guarantee it will be incredibly worth it!!

    When you feel up to it, maybe start a new thread and tell us your story. No pressure, though. You can share or not share as you see fit. Just know that we are here to help, support, and listen. You are NOT alone!!!
  13. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Well it's with a heavy heart I must be honest....I didn't make it.I am having a programming error I guess.I don't like to drink,I don't like drug's yet every time my uncle is around anger exceeds anything I can explain and I have this lifelong self destruct button that always turns on when a point needs to be made,It's really fuc×in dumb because I destroy me to paint the picture for everyone to see,why?Well when people don't hear my warnings which are usually spot on I get so pissed off I show them what they won't hear and yes I am the one who always pays the toll but passion takes over and I just make sure it's noticed....Stupid.I got so pissed I took myself to his dealer and made it clear that his dope was mine now...i took it and left but of course sh×t like that makes even more enemies.I don't know what to do, I have no where to go yet I know I can't be around a meth head it makes me a vicious violent feeling person...I don't attack people when I'm that mad but I could well I won't say it could be incriminating.My apologies yet again, I'm getting tired of failing
  14. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    You do not need to apologize, @True concern. Dude... We ALL struggle and slip-up from time to time in every day life. Because we're HUMAN.

    Did you drink or did you do meth? I can't tell from your post. Whatever the case, just use it as another learning experience and do your best to right the ship. Remember: Recovery isn't a straight line.

    I'm really sorry about the situation with your uncle. Every time I read something you post about him it makes me angry. You should not have to be subjected to his habit. Period. Maybe you should talk to your mom about it again. (Don't know if that would work...just kind of thinking out loud.) If it came down to you being there or your uncle, who would your mom pick? I'm guessing it would be you.

    For what it's worth, I don't think of you as a failure at all. Not even a little bit. You're a wonderful, kind human being with a huge heart. You're just stuck in a difficult circumstance right now. But I know that this too shall pass.

    Sending you love, light, hope, and encouragement. And I want you to know how much I admire your honesty. You're a good man, Arthur.
    Dominica likes this.
  15. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    She would pick him....I have been put out before when I laid down that exact ultimatum,my weakness is my love for people,they can shot me point blank and I would still blame myself and forgive them....I don't know what my purpose here on earth is but when I die I believe I won't have to explain my actions I have and always will bare my shame regardless of the outcome
  16. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Well started off drinking,noticed my uncle was high so off I went to send a message, took the dope did a very small amount and instantly thought of that woman who was kidnapped and destroyed the rest and I have been stuck in self destruct mode since.I would never end my own life but I can't lie at time's I wish someone would, I have absolutely nothing, no family that cares,no friends,all I have is addiction, depression and the will to fight them but I will admit it's getting more than exhausting
  17. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @True concern

    Hey Arthur.

    I'm sorry that you have to be around your uncle and that horrible habit. I imagine that is incredibly challenging. You're definitely not a failure. Perhaps you've slipped up, but that is not uncommon for someone in recovery. I remind you that addiction is a disease, a chronic disease that sometimes involves relapsing.

    This anger and rage that comes to the surface at times is something that concerns me. Whether it's directed outward at others or inward at yourself, these intense feelings are begging for your attention. If there is any way that you can find a therapist who will work with you, perhaps pro bono or free? start doing your research. Call your social services or mental health agencies in your area and let them know about your need for therapy. I know therapy might not solve everything, but I am a firm advocate that we simply need the skills of a trained psychotherapist to really get in there and dig deeper to get it those intense feelings. To work through them over time.... gain insight... heal at a deeper level.

    In the meantime, have you thought about attending a meeting? Have you been attending meetings?

    I want you to know that we are here and we love and support you no matter what. We will always be here to lift you up and help you see that you are a good soul. You do have family that cares about you, to the degree that they know how, and here in this cyber family we are certainly extended family that cares a great deal about you and your well-being.

    How are you feeling this morning?
    deanokat likes this.
  18. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @True concern... I echo everything our wise friend @Dominica has said to you. And believe it or not, WE are your friends. And we truly care. Sure, we may not be there with or near you, but we're here for you.

    Remember all the great advice you've given others in this forum and start practicing what you've preached. Fall down seven times, get up eight, my friend. I know you can get back on track. But you have to be the one to pull yourself up and brush yourself off. No one else can do that for you.

    I love you like a brother. And I don't want you to think about ending your life. Ever. You have too much to offer this crazy world of ours. You are here to help others. Now I need you to take some time to help yourself. Because you deserve it. You are so damn worthy!

    Let us know how you're doing, okay?
    Dominica likes this.
  19. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    YES it is extremely challenging, to watch a parent turn on her son to protect the person who created and feed my addiction for over 20 year's is truly emotionally crippling.I only have 200 dollar's a month for groceries for my family and there is 5 of us not including him and to watch him eat our food knowing he spends over 400 a month on meth but won't even buy a loaf of bread this builds anger and rage I can't even explain, my mom is diabetic and absolutely needs certain foods to survive and though he knows this he will eat her food and when I say something his reply is "We all have to die sometime"and my mom allows it because he will leave if she tells him not to eat her food,I rarely sleep through any given night because I have to monitor her sugar while she sleeps,she told me not to worry about it but that is my mom and I couldn't live with myself if she passed in her sleep because I didn't check on her,over 30 time's I have saved her life,30 plus time's my mom would have died had I not been there to find her in a diabetic coma....Traumatizing to say the least but I love her and my 7 year old sister needs her mommy so physically and emotionally i accept the burden to keep my family together obly thing is i don't, won't, and can't accept the burden of my uncle.He is a heartless human who stole both my grandma's and grandpa's wedding rings minutes after they passed and pawned them for dope and I can't allow him to do the same to my mom so I'm stuck with really no clear path out without disowning my family....Im a lot of thing's but heartless isn't one of them though many misunderstand me and would say otherwise
    Dominica and deanokat like this.
  20. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I am doing a lot better today,I just want to say I am grateful for you and @Dominica you both are the only 2 people who help me keep going,along with a few other's on here but you 2 I couldn't be grateful enough for just being there it really means the world to me
    Dominica and deanokat like this.