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Dumped by herion addict

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Knockatallon, Feb 12, 2018.

  1. Knockatallon

    Knockatallon Member

    Hi. I met a man who was drug free and very charming. We fell in love quite quick and adored each other. Then I found out he had been a herion addict but was clean for 2 years as he was in prison for burglary. He started to lie and steal but regretted it and wanted help. I supported him, loved him , we made plans for the future. He said I was his perfect woman. He lived with me, he was amazing most of the time but then cleared off for days. Then he stayed away longer, less texts and he came here in Nov declaring his love for me etc. I never seen him since that. I messaged all his mates because I thought he was lying dead somewhere. He told a mate he's met a proper woman now and she's giving him the push he needs and that I'm a stalker. I was his girlfriend and worried about him and he calls me a stalker. How can he fall out of love with me so quick and saying he's loved up with a new woman . He never officially broke up with me. Im devastated. Was he using me the whole time? It seemed like he loved me and we adored eachother. Why would he say he's met a proper woman? What was I Then? Help me understand this pls
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Knockatallon

    hello there and welcome .I'm really sorry that you have had to go through this. you certainly did not deserve this sort of treatment from anyone. it's really hard to say why he has behaved in this manner, but if he's an active addict, he may say and do plenty of things that hurt himself and others and not think twice about it.

    unfortunately, there are just some people who cannot make a commitment whether addiction is involved or not. active addicts and narcissists have no problem using women, then tossing them aside whenever they want. there's no rhyme or reason for it, and I just want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong. you were a good woman who trusted him... and this other woman will most likely end up heartbroken too....

    I'm sorry that you are heartbroken. continue to reach out for support. If you're really struggling, perhaps seeing a counselor may help...take some time to heal, dear one. Love is wonderful, but it's not enough to sustain a healthy relationship... so much more is necessary...

    My hope and prayer for you is you will eventually be able to connect with someone who can be emotionally and physically present for you long-term. someone who is emotionally mature, has no addiction issues, and is able to commit to you at a deep level...

    does this help?
  3. Knockatallon

    Knockatallon Member

    Thanks so much x why is he telling people he's met a proper woman then and that he loved up
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    Asking "why" may cause you to go crazy. We might not ever know the "why" of some things... letting go is a practice... my advice is to do your best to let him go...and move on with your life. i know that's not easy.... but it can free your mental space to feel some peace instead of all he doubt, confusion, etc.