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Exploring your grief

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by amethyst, Jan 8, 2015.

  1. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    I admit, there have been times in my life when I just wanted to close my eyes and somehow never wake up again. I have often contemplated suicide over the years and fallen into the deepest end of my personal hell. But even in my darkest hour, I always felt a presence of light around me, comforting me, telling me that trying to escape this reality is only an illusion, as life will continue in a different form, and that I am responsible for all my actions, on every level.
    I still fall into those unknown depths from time to time, but I don't worry so much anymore about not being able to climb out of them. I go with the flow. I cry, I let myself be depressed. I even hurt myself by thinking intensively about the mistakes that I made in my life, and the consequences that my actions had. I can only accept my sadness and loneliness when I go right into the center of it all...
    And you? How do you deal with those shadows inside you?
  2. drc52

    drc52 Active Contributor

    I've had similar problems. Sometimes we dwell on things that have happened trying to figure what we should have said and done differently. If there is nothing more to learn from your past experiences and you find yourself getting miserable from the memories, it would be ideal to surrender them. The easiest way to accept sadness and loneliness is to solve it. I hope this is of some help to you
  3. LitoLawless

    LitoLawless Senior Contributor

    I agree with your method so much. I think doing anything other than confronting your feelings head on is the best way to go. Something a lot of people don't tell you is that it's ok to be hurt, or feel bitter, or feel sadness. How are you NOT suppose to feel these things, ya know? That's not very human. I think feelings like these have to get out of your system to make way for the positive.
    MrsJones likes this.
  4. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Whenever the darkness within threatens to swallow me whole, I set my sights on the world outside of myself. I start to think of others who have bigger problems than I do. I find comfort in the thought that I'm not the only one suffering here on earth. All of us have our fair share of pain and grief. Why must I think I'm the only one? Am I not too conceited for thinking this way? After several hours of introspection and crying my pain away, I gradually return to my regular, optimistic self. Of course, I try to spend more time with family, friends and the people who matter.
    stariie likes this.
  5. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I often tell myself it's okay to cry, but better to laugh. It's okay to fall, but better to get up. It's okay to be in the dark, but better to be in the light and the list goes on and on. The reality of life is that we all have our lows and our highs. Sometimes much more lows than we think we deserve. I have always felt that all of us are dealing with something we wish we didn't have to deal with but somehow through it all we ought to find a way to rise from the depths of despair and accept life for what it is.

    When everything is said and done, no matter what life throws my way I still want to live, love and laugh.
    MrsJones likes this.
  6. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    There's no denying that when everything appears to be going wrong in [your] life [especially if you lose someone you loved] one can be led to believe that there's nothing left to live for. Some get driven into using drugs as a way to escape reality. Nonetheless how deep you go is entirely dependent on you:

    #1. You can look at the problems and lose yourself in self-pity.
    #2. You can look past your problems, list down what you are grateful for, embrace the present as something you'll learn much from and try to find solutions to the problems that beset you or accept and live with the fact that whoever you lost still lives in your heart.
    MrsJones likes this.
  7. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    Life can get hard sometimes, but I try to see the beauty in life. I try to be grateful for what I have. I try to concentrate on taking care of myself and my family and I pray that I can do better every day. I write a lot, I pray (not enough, but probably more than many people do today), I listen to music sometimes. Basically, I look for the good in life, because although life can be hard, life can be, and is, really beautiful.
  8. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    Life is no picnic and there will always be ups and downs throughout your life. People go through hard times and with this it gives us strength and we grow and learn from the bad situations. Life is meant to be lived in happiness and the most amazing thing that we have ever been given is life and to appreciate the fact that we can walk, talk, move and laugh, whatever.... remember that there is always someone else out there that has bigger problems then you and me.
    Take each day one at a time, everyday think of one thing that has been a gift to you and remember that suicide is never an answer to any problem, life is for living and we create and make our own path! Choose wisely and appreciate LIFE
  9. bluzkluz09

    bluzkluz09 Active Contributor

    I heard someone ask how can we appreciate good things in life if we don't know about the bad? I think about it and say to myself that's so true but why do I have to get all the bad? Then I ask myself if it's all a matter of perspective. Is it really bad or is it I am just looking at it negatively? This goes around in my head for a little while until I try to pick out the good things out of the situation. It can be very hard and most times I just say maybe there's a lesson in it for me to learn and I must be a slow learner in order to eventually get past my depressed feelings. I allow myself sometime to just be depressed but then I tell myself there is a season for everything and now that season must end and it's time to move onto the next.
  10. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    When I'm at my most down, I let myself fall. Into messes, into over eating, into not showering and not caring about anything for a while -- but it just makes me feel worse, ashamed of not getting anything done.
    So after a while of this low, I usually start writing a bit, it makes me feel better. Sometimes but rarely, I'll let my loved ones cheer me up. I don't know why I feel like I need this -- I don't even want it. But if it's there, I just don't fight it, I let it take me whole, this big dark cloud.

    What does work for me is that, even in all this suckiness, I force myself to do something, anything, that could make me even a little bit proud. Sometimes it's reading or washing the dishes or a five minutes of yoga.
  11. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    There is always going to be bad days somewhere along the line. We all need to concentrate on at least one good thing in a day even if it means that you made yourself a great cup of coffee. Find one positive in a day and take life one step at a time. If you have read or heard about the secret then you know that your life is in your own hands and if you wake up thinking that it is going to be a bad day then it will be, will your life into a different direction each day by saying that it will be your day to shine!
  12. 003

    003 Community Champion

    Exploring griefs is really daring and courageous. Most of the time, I just opt to brush it off, because I just think that I really can't face it that if I do, it wouldn't just do my any good. But sometimes they really help but it takes that deep courage. They really help because they give new insights. But of course, they present two sides, they could be good sometimes, but often they bury me deep down into depression, instead that they make me inspired.
  13. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    The importance of exploring grief is to grieve, remember, cry, laugh and put it behind you. Life is for living and for those who we have lost along the way, we need to move forward and live each day for them so that when you meet again one day you can talk about the many great things that you have accomplished.
  14. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I try to start each day by thinking of all the things in this world I am greatful for. It really helps me out when I am in a sad mood or feel that the world is against me. There are many people that love me and there are so many things I have yet to see and experience in this life. Sometimes life is unfair, but we get beyond those things and life improves once again.
  15. Tournique

    Tournique Senior Contributor

    Starting the day by reminding myself how awesome I am really made me feel better. Exploring your grief will allow you to connect with yourself and really see the roots of the problems.
  16. angelicagapit

    angelicagapit Active Contributor

    Try to practice 'paradigm shifting'. It's a practice where you change your current perspective in life into a more positive outlook. If something unfortunate happens in your life, you change your perspective about it and see it as on opportunity instead of a challenge.

    My advice is probably to stop dwelling on what's bad about life and see all of the amazing things the world can actually bring you. If you're not happy, then it's not the end of your story. Everybody always has a happy ending.
  17. Peninha

    Peninha Community Champion

    Yep, stop noticing the negative stuff and try to focus on the positive ones, the glass half full instead. What's the point in being negative, what do we win with that?
  18. muthoni

    muthoni Active Contributor

    Once in a while when I do not feel like getting out of bed I remain there. I do not eat or even bathe. I allow myself to be a shadow of myself that day. The following day, I will pull myself together and encourage myself that there is someone somewhere who would give everything to have my life. I let myself know that I have made mistakes that I regret in the past; then who hasn’t made mistakes? I go forward and I am happy with who I am.
  19. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I really wish I could stay in bed all day and do nothing. I would feel guilty with myself if I did that. I do allow myself to have days in which I sleep in and then lay around on the couch for most of the day. I just have a hard time not doing something productive at least with part of my day.
  20. Tournique

    Tournique Senior Contributor

    I have days where I wish I had 1 extra hour of sleep. Waking up from 8 to 9 am is a big difference to me, even if i'm going to bet at 23:00. :( Winter really drains my energy levels.