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Exposing children to good influences

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Child' started by wander_n_wonder, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. wander_n_wonder

    wander_n_wonder Active Contributor

    No matter how strict we are to kids at home, it's always not a guarantee that they will not get into drugs. In most cases, drug addiction among children is due to peer pressure. As a parent, how do we really make sure that our children are exposed only to good influences? Is there such thing as an indication that a person will not be a good influence to kids? Does it have something to do with the school that we enroll them into?
  2. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    The type of school you choose for your kids may have a degree of influence on how they live their lives in the future. Certain schools, mostly public schools, are riddled with negative influences due in part to regulations and policies that are not implemented strictly by teachers. Although there are always exemptions to the rule, a number of public school teachers are lax and are not so keen on keeping an eye on students outside campus premises. It's different for private schools where students are strictly supervised. Throughout the duration of their school life, they won't be exposed to a lot of negative influences. After graduation, outside of the academe is another matter altogether.
  3. musicmonster

    musicmonster Senior Contributor

    The environment has a lot to do with drug addiction most definitely. This is why they should be properly educated about peer pressure before they go out. They should also be educated about drugs before they face the real world out there. It is best they hear it first hand at home so they won't get curious going out.
  4. LostmySis

    LostmySis Senior Contributor

    I think kids that are bored are more likely to get involved with drugs. One thing that kept the kids in my family on the straight and narrow was getting them involved in the Police Athletic League. The coaches are the local police officers who volunteer and WANT to deal with kids. The worst thing the kids wanted to have happen would be to get caught doing something wrong and have the coach find out. The sports in this league start at ages 5 or so and go well into the teen years. It also promotes respect for officers and the law, as well as the community.
  5. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    Apart from peer pressure, a child can get into drugs if influenced by a family member e.g a dad who smokes or drinks. As a caring parent,the best we can do is to offer guidance and moral support especially for teens.They are the most vulnerable.We should also monitor their behavior from time to time just as a precaution.
  6. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    We can teach them the rights and wrongs at what could happen at school and peer pressure to act cool to please some kids who want to see will you give in to the drugs just to try it out. I was offered it when I was in school turned away from those people and did not hang around with them as I knew what they were offering was enjoyment but just a one where I think I am having fun and than the consequences happen I want more and would resort to stealing just for drugs or prison waste my life. So saying no to it will be a good thing, and hope the kids learn at home than learning the hard way what happens when you take it and get in trouble.
  7. ryan0039

    ryan0039 Active Contributor

    Be open and honest with your kids. Don't lie and tell them drugs are way worse than they are and if they're old enough share your experiences with them. If your kid is smart they'll understand you're telling them all of it for their own good and it'll be fine, hopefully. That's how my parents did it with me.
  8. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I think the best thing parents can do is to serve as good example themselves. This way hey won't have to worry so much about external forces because they can be more confident in the choices their kids will make and they will be able to trust them enough to find their own way and their own good influences regardless of their place or situation. I think parents who don't or can't trust their kids to make these decisions ultimately are just showing their own lack of competence.
  9. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It will be also not that healthy to be too strict to kids cause they could feel not free to be themselves. I think better if parents and kids are close enough that their kids are open to them and sharing their thoughts. Right also that what their peer and environment outside of your home should be monitored too to ensure that good influences are prominent.
  10. Janie

    Janie Active Contributor

    I think the schools your kids go to play a factor in their peers, but there will be problems at all schools, rich or poor. I always hope a good school would have more positive role models, and it probably does, but then there are probably different types of issues that surface, all still causing a possible problem for your kid.

    I think talking to your kids is very important, but I also think just living the lifestyle you want them to live can be even more important. Modeling decent behavior is probably the best thing you can do for your kids, as well as giving them suggestions for ways to talk and think themselves our of peer pressures.

    But I'm sure that is all easier said than done.
  11. bbeverly

    bbeverly Member

    I think it's best to be an example for your children. While you should be an example, make sure that they are around good role models in the community, whether it be church, school, etc. Be the type of person you want them to grow into and kids will pick up on that. As they mature, they will start to make their own decisions. If they get in trouble, sit down and actually talk to them. Let them know what they was wrong and why. That definitely helped me when I was growing up. My parents would actually explain and talk through it with me instead of just lecturing or yelling at me. Kids will be kids; however, they are also human with emotions and do need to be treated with respect.
    Be involved at their schools. That why you can see who and how they interact with others and make any changes that need to be made. However, I recommend this, be a "background" parent. Cheer them on publicly, but don't embarrass them by making a scene if they do something wrong. Just take them off to the side and speak with them or tell them we'll talk when we get home. Now I say this in minor instances. If they are causing harm to another or doing something completely against, then definitely put a stop to it.
    Sadly though, there is only so much you can do as a parent. As they get older, they will make their own decisions that you may not agree with. But, by providing them with a good upbringing will definitely help reduce troublesome behavior I believe.
    deanokat likes this.
  12. TripleD123

    TripleD123 Community Champion

    In my opinion you have to keep your kids busy and involved. Encourage them to be involved in sports, clubs, church, community service. Anything! Even one extra activity a week will fill their time and encourage them to be friendly with more kids outside of their main circle.

    I wish my parents has helped me find a hobby or an activity after school but they never did. I was never encouraged to do more than just go to school, hang with friends, and come home. If I would have been more involved I probably would have gotten into less trouble.
  13. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    Unfortunately that is the bitter truth. We strive to mould our kids into responsible and moral characters but other factors come into play as they grow up. First it was the internet and now we have social media where they interact with total strangers in the privacy of their rooms on their computers and their cell phones. We as parents have a duty to protect them from all this but its quite an uphill task.
    Zyni likes this.
  14. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    Most schools offer drug education now too, and they start early. I think it's a good thing.

    Being open with your kids and doing your best to have a close relationship is important for all areas of their lives. Teaching by example is also a big deal. Still, kids do make their own choices, so none of these things are a guarantee. The best you can do is give them a strong foundation and hope they make good choices when they're away from you.
  15. KNH

    KNH Active Contributor

    I think it's important to get children involved with sports or other after-school activities (legal and safe of course, lol) because that takes away some time every day when they could otherwise be around bad influences. I never really had time to get into drugs or alcohol when I was a teen because I was so busy with sports. I also believe the parents must set a proper example for their children. A child's behavior can mimic those of the parents since that is what he/she grew up with on a daily basis. Of course, unfortunately there is foolproof way to make sure a child will stay away from bad influences - bad friends and peer pressure will always exist.
  16. KNH

    KNH Active Contributor

  17. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    I think keeping kids busy is important. I know when I was a kid, most of the times that I did get in trouble or do something dumb, was because I was bored. A bunch of bored kids sitting around with nothing to do is a peer pressure disaster waiting to happen.
  18. rainbowguard

    rainbowguard Senior Contributor

    I think sending your kids to schools that have good academic reputation is a very good idea to expose your children to good influence from the start. However, you also need to look at the school's history. Thankfully, right now, we have google that can quickly find out if that school has a bad history such as bullying, hazing, drug users, etc. that could have negative impacts on your children's life.

    Then, after making sure your kids are exposed to good influence on that school, the next thing that you should do is to find what your children love and support them to do it. This is important as parents who forces children to do what they don't want have greater risks of having rebellious children.
  19. LaraLara

    LaraLara Member

    I can give you some examples.... My mum let me smoke when I was young, and I thoroughly regret doing it now, she let me smoke, she let me drink, she let me take drugs, because I would do it anyway behind her back, and she would rather me feel comfortable telling her about it, than do it without her knowing... I'm 23 now, and I did some major damage to my body, but I have been clean of everything for over 1 1/2 years...

    I have 3 best friends... Their parents really tried to keep them from smoking, from drugs etc... They ALL take drugs now, they ALL smoke weed, they didn't not do drugs, they just didn't do them at home, they did them without the parents knowing the extent either... And they all still do this....

    If I were in my mums position when I was 13, i would have, at the first instance of drug use, been very very open and friendly about it, I would have gone away and researched everything there is to know on all of these drugs and side effect, and said to me, that I can do them if I want to, but I have have have have to be aware of what they are doing to my body first.
    So if for example your child starts smoking, tell them they can smoke if they want to, but also tell them everything that happens when you do smoke at a young age...
  20. light

    light Active Contributor

    It’s important to speak with our children about drugs. Explaining to them the bad consequences of using drugs is essential. We should encourage them to tell us anytime a friend in school offers drugs, sometimes even speaking with parents of that kid would be helpful. We should do our best to protect our children from drugs, speaking even with the teacher if she notices something strange in the behavior of other children. It’s essential to have time to speak with your child every day and play with them so you build a very strong relationship and not only an authority.