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Fallen into a hole

Discussion in 'Withdrawal Symptoms' started by amethyst, Mar 18, 2016.

  1. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    There I was many months ago, giving advice to others in this forum how to deal with depression. And here I am today, feeling gray and hopeless. My life circumstances have been somewhat difficult, and they've ground me down over the last few months. At times I feel like I am a robot, just doing my daily tasks and trying to connect with something bigger that, at the moment, I don't seem to be able to reach.
    When times are tough, old memories of even tougher times tend to resurface. And that's where I am at in this moment. I feel some old anger towards things that are long in the past. But recent events just brought them up again. How come that anger is still there after so many years?
    KaseyHopeMartin likes this.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @amethyst... I'm sorry you're struggling, my friend. Suppressing old, unhappy memories is tough. But even though they may resurface from time to time, we have to do our best to keep moving forward. The past is done and gone. Water under the bridge, as they say. Try not to let it get you down. Live for today. It's really all we have.

    I hope you'll be able to get out of the funk you're in soon. As someone who's struggled with depression for many years, I know exactly how you're feeling. Just know that I'm sending you positive vibes, and that you have support here if you need it.

    Peace and hugs.
    amethyst likes this.
  3. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    I find myself on your shoes. I always emphasize on alternative treatment such as yoga, meditation, acupressure, acupuncture, naturopathy for mental diseases, behavioral conditions and drug abuse. I give tips on how to stay calm and normal, how to de-stress and how to tame depression. However, sometimes I am too depressed and I feel hard to control myself.
    amethyst likes this.
  4. LoveEcho

    LoveEcho Community Champion

    I'm sorry you're going through this right now, I understand how difficult it is to deal with. It causes such pain on a daily basis that is hard to completely understand. Sometimes it helps to just focus on the little things that give you joy, maybe seeing friends or family and in some cases adopting a rescue animal has given people joy when dealing with these types of feelings.
    amethyst likes this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @amethyst... How are you doing, my friend? Just want you to know that I'm thinking about you and that I'm sending you positive vibes.
  6. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    Deanokat, thank you very much for writing twice to me. I am sorry for not answering earlier. I really appreciate your kind words and your thoughts. It's a bumpy road at the moment for me after a sad break up from a relationship that lasted 6 years. I am trying to come to terms with all that has happened while not giving in to the temptation to reach for some "pacifiers" such as cigarettes. But it seems, that is the least of my worries right now.
    Thanks again for your kind attention. I'll keep on crawling until I can get up again. :)
    deanokat likes this.
  7. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    Vinaya, I think sometimes we just need to step away from all those therapies and good advice, because they only add to the stress and depression. That's how I feel. I easily get tired of the endless well-meant words and suggestions from all kinds of sources, be they spiritual, inspirational, motivational, etc. I just want a quiet place and perhaps a person to lean on to for a while and just let things be as they are. This constant urge from the world for people to change and be on top of everything, to be well adjusted and integrated into a community, and so on... - it stresses me. I just want peace and kind and gentle souls around me. A place that is non-competitive, where you don't have to control yourself, but where you can just be yourself and express what's going on inside and around you...
    KaseyHopeMartin and deanokat like this.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @amethyst... Just remember that we're always here for you. And you have to crawl before you walk. Sending you big hugs.
    amethyst likes this.
  9. Anger is one of the most powerful emotions we have as humans. Anger alone can keep people from moving forward, or sometimes even keep us alive. Anger doesn't just go away either, even if you think it does and you think you've moved on. But sometimes something will happen that will reawaken those ugly feelings.

    A lot of times it's lack of closure that keep us from letting it go completely. If you haven't gotten closure with what you're angry about, it's no surprise that sometimes it rears it's ugly head and rampages about your stomach and chest and ruins your day.

    If its any condolence, I'm feeling pretty blue and angry myself today so you're not alone. I'm praying for you and if you ever need an ear, mine is always open.
    amethyst and deanokat like this.
  10. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    Thank you very much, Kasey. Your words are honest and filled with strength. I can sense that you've had your own share of hardship, and perhaps the load was/is a little heavier than for the average person. But then, who is average?
    Anger has always been a driving force in my life. But it's more of a creative and challenging anger where I like to prove to myself that I can do anything that I focus my mind on. Yet, there is another type of anger that, in essence, is a deep-seated sadness, that lies hidden inside me like a quiet lake. And that's where those ugly feelings that you mention dwell. Usually they lie dormant, but when there is some major upheaval in my heart or soul, they rise from the depth and create an emotional disaster in me...

    I hope that your blue feelings have turned into a blue sky, and that you're feeling much better today.
    Thank you. I am also here for you.
  11. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    The same thing happens to me, past anger that leads to depression that is so huge I cry buckets of tears. I usually make up such feelings into a rock in my mind and keep shooting till it scatters into pieces but in reality it is not the same; though I feel better afterwards.
    amethyst likes this.