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Falling off the Wagon

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by tasha, Mar 2, 2016.

  1. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    It happens and it happens and it happens......
    Some of us although we have the family and love to back us up, there are demons we fight on the inside and unless you can rid yourself of those demons by opening up and allowing it to leave, you will always fall.
    The trick is to get back up and try again but you have to be willing to try and each time you fall, it takes longer to get back up again.
    Remember that the road to recover is not easy but it is worth it and falling can happen to anyone but get up straight away and don't think that you can slip for a week or two and it will be easy to get back into a sober life.....stop immediately and go for help! Do not give up on yourself!
  2. lost247

    lost247 Active Contributor

    This is the biggest obstacle in recovery, and the most important to overcome in order to be successful! No matter how many meetings, how many loved ones, how many supporters or phone numbers or books you collect, if the reason you use is not addressed, it will always be there. Whether it's tomorrow, next year, five years from now, if you don't face and release that demon it will get you in it's grasp again! Recovery is not easy, but it IS always worth it. YOU are worth it!
    Zyni likes this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    It's not the slip-ups that define you; it's how you react to them. If you relapse, you are not a failure. You are just learning a new way to live. I believe that recovery/sobriety is a learned behavior. And it can take some practice, just like any other learned behavior. For example: If you decided you wanted to learn to speak Russian, would you expect yourself to be perfect at it right from the start? Of course not! You would do what you had to do to get started, and practice. You would make mistakes, but you would learn from those mistakes and get better because of them. Eventually, with practice, you would achieve your goal. I think more people need to look at recovery the same way.

    If you slip up it doesn't mean you will never find recovery. You can still get sober even if you slip up a hundred times. But you need to get up, brush yourself off, and get back on the right path. If you mix willingness and hope enough times, and keep practicing, you will find long-term recovery/sobriety.

    That is what I believe.
    kgord likes this.
  4. sillylucy

    sillylucy Community Champion

    I think of falling off the wagon as a test of my resilience. It is one thing to admit defeat and fear of losing again, but another thing to get back on that wagon with all of you got and to try to stay on with all of your might. Do not give up and show that you are bigger than your addiction.
    deanokat likes this.
  5. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    I agree you have to get right back to it. Waiting for weeks to try and get sober again is too long. The best way to break a habit is to form one over it. When your in the habit of trying to break your addiction, a relapse won't effect you as bad because you'll always get back on the right path. Persistence makes a big difference, as long as you keep trying you haven't lost.
    deanokat likes this.
  6. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Of course people should not really give up on themselves, because once they do then there will be no hope anymore for improvement. They should always strive to be sober, no matter how hard it can get.
    deanokat likes this.
  7. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    Very good point @tasha. :) It is important to always remember that trials are also part of recovery. There will be many times when we stumble along the way and fall but what matters is for us to keep on standing up no matter how many times and how hard we fall. When we are at our lowest, there's no other way to go but up.
    deanokat and kgord like this.
  8. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    But if someone really is trying to recover I hope from one fall they learn not to fall the same way. Its learning from our mistakes and what weakens us and how we can move around obstacles. It is a long process of try and fail. Some are better than others and that is because no one is the same and what they can handle also differs. If you must fall learn from it so when you stand up you won't fall the same way.
    deanokat likes this.
  9. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    You guys make some great points. Ridding one's self of the underlying issue is the key.

    As Deano said, it's also a matter of learning, yet in this situation, people often expect perfection right off the bat. I'll compare it to going on a diet. We don't get fat overnight, and we won't get thin overnight either. People don't generally become addicts in an instant, yet many expect themselves to recover in one, which isn't realistic.

    Learning from our mistakes is another good point. Find out what triggers a relapse and learn to combat those issues instead of beating yourself up.
    deanokat likes this.
  10. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Yes, I think sometimes no matter what our drug of choice may be anything from food to alcohol, drugs or cigarettes we have to learn to think of it differently. As a food addict...I have just realized (took me long enough) that I will never have a normal relationship with food. I can enjoy food, but I can't let it define my life..or indulge the way I have in the past. Even if I lose all the weight I want I will have to be permanently vigilant less I go right back to it, and slipping happens OK? Addictions are resistant to change,but just bear in mind...the more the slippage the more work you will have to do to get back on we should always strive to be vigilant.
    Zyni and deanokat like this.
  11. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I think some falls are a natural part of the process. It's a learning experience and to assume that the road will be smooth enough at all times to avoid a fall can be a little optimistic! But - in saying that, I think it's only a true fall if you're not getting up and getting back on the wagon again. It takes persistence and patience to recover and it's okay to fall as long as you regain your balance once again.
    xTinx and deanokat like this.
  12. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    It is very important for us to realise that a relapse is just that, a relapse. It doesn't mean that your journey to being clean or being sober end there. It just means that you have experienced a bump in the road. All you need to do is get back up and over that bump. Because you've done it before, you've beaten that addiction, you can surely do it again.

    Do not ever lose hope because you know what? Hope is all we have and without it, we cannot have dreams and goals. No matter how bad the situation is, you can get over it. Seek some help and don't go through things by yourself. Chances are, the load is easier to carry with someone by your side.

    deanokat likes this.
  13. SCSullivan

    SCSullivan Member

    I think the best way to deal with falling off the wagon, is to fully accept that it is perfectly fine to do so. We are so used to hearing criticism from other people, that we don't need to dish it out to ourselves also. The more we berate ourselves for failing, the more despondent we become, and the less likely we are to pick ourselves up and try again. By accepting that we may fall several times before we succeed, the more likely we are to end up persevering until we take the final journey to success.
  14. remnant

    remnant Community Champion

    There is a saying that states that when you are in hell do not stop running. I had a similar experience some time ago. I had spent a fulfilling day thanking myself for resisting the urge to drink the previous two days. But in the afternoon, I fell into the trap. The most important thing is to emerge stronger after every fall.
  15. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    If you fall off that wagon, get up and get right back on no matter how many times you fall off. I believe at some point you are going to get tired falling off and position yourself to stay on the wagon. It's not about how many times, you fall, it about how many times you get up.

    Very encouraging words @tasha
  16. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    @tasha You've said it all; try and try again. Life is full of tricks and challenges that keep weighing us down. But we have to believe in ourselves by continuous effort.

    Thanks for sharing.
  17. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    Thank you everyone! I hope it does encourage people to get back up there and start again because it happens and it does not mean that life is over and you need to go back to the old ways. Life can give us a boost if we let it!
    deanokat likes this.
  18. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Glad you're a part of this community, @tasha! :)
  19. djdrug

    djdrug Community Champion

    Very encouraging words Tasha. Very inspiring. Getting back up is really the only option that any of us have. Nothing to gain from just laying there sobbing. I just find a lot of strength in comeback stories having experienced a few in my own life. Thank you for those words :)
  20. sclupto

    sclupto Member

    It makes sense that relapse would be a part of recovery. Just like hitting bottom, it is just another step towards making the right decisions for ourselves. I look at relapse as a fresh chance to get re-inspired, and it has always made me want to seek out kind words and helpful people like the one's here. Thanks to everybody!