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Family Supports

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by hoverman, Aug 25, 2015.

  1. hoverman

    hoverman Active Contributor

    Families play a large role in supporting us through tough times, but what I find most often, is that family members can also sometimes be the hardest to handle when it comes to addiction. More often than not, there is so much love, that family members tend to become exasperated, and at times even aggressive or confrontational in the manner by which they try to convince their family member to stop their addiction.

    I think it's important to talk and communicate about what is happening and how families can help, or hinder those who are trying to recover. Sometimes all the dependent needs, is to know that when things become rough, that their family will be there.

    Note however, this is different to having an addicted person take advantage of a family. Theft, abuse and violence often accompanies severe addiction, and not trying to seek help in relation to that situation can often worsen the eventual - and almost inevitable - family showdown. Early and open communication is the best course of action when it comes to family support in my experience!!

    Does anyone else have some thoughts or situations relating to families and overcoming addiction??
  2. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Thankfully my family were pretty supportive, but I've known people who have been in a similar boat with addiction who have had families just wash their hands of them. I think part of it was frustration, part was disappointment, part was embarrassment and part of it was just being at their wits end, wanting to help but either being pushed away or just not knowing what to do anymore.
  3. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    The family that supports one another, stays together and lives harmoniously. :)

    And yes, it is important to have a family that would always motivate and encourage you to become a better person, not the other way around. Friends are great to be around, but of course, blood would always be thicker than water.
  4. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    An addict can gain much from the support they get from family members. However what I've noticed in most cases is it's the parents [they have an obligation to stand by their children no matter what] who stand by their children all the time. I used to wonder why my parents didn't hate my brother and still don't though he drinks like a fish and is always in trouble. They hope that he will change and they are always trying to convince him to stop drinking.

    Without a family's support I don't think an addict would have anyone else who can help them when they desperately need it. Knowing they've got no one in their life would only make the problem worse. No matter what an addict does his/her family should always stand by him/her.
  5. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I have to agree the love and support of a family is so important to an addict. They are the ones who are there for you when everybody else has walked away. Family will always be family no matter what. Sadly some families do choose to walk away and turn their back on the addict and it makes it more difficult to change if they don't have that support group they so desperately need. I believe when they need you, you should be there no matter the situation.
    deanokat likes this.
  6. AFKATafcar

    AFKATafcar Community Champion

    If you don't have your family's support, then the recovery process becomes a lot more difficult, even impossible for some. However, when you do have that extra layer of support, then you have more assistance from caring individuals, and they act as another layer of deterrence to returning to your old ways. Family support is far better than a lack of family support, that's for sure.
  7. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It is right to say that support of family can be a big advantage in recovery. But family should know or be aware of the right approach. That could make them really help and not to make things worse.
  8. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    The support if your family is important but at the same time I don't necessarily think it's something that you have to have to recover from an addiction.

    For example I didn't have any family to turn to so when I went through recovery I had to do it alone and while that wasn't easy, it can be done.
  9. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I think that families should be supportive of their loved ones dealing with addiction. It often does not happen for a variety of reasons. Often you might hear that the addict has made it impossible to give them help and much more. Still I think it is something to be encouraged even if the results are not what we hope for.

    Sadly, Pwarbi had to do it alone and this should be the exception rather than the rule. Deanokat's example comes to mind when I think of family being there for you in word and deed. I am sure there also other examples here of family making the difference in an addict's life.
  10. First of all, I know my family and friends love me but nobody can come over without the 12 pack in their hand. Granted I haven't told all of them my struggles but for those who do know.... well I wish I had more support. I've asked and begged and it's really for nothing, I keep struggling and I'll probably struggle all of my life unless I can find a cave far away from here where I can be all alone with nobody around to help me fail.
  11. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    If you're lucky to have a suppotive family, then I'm sure they will be supportive of you and if you become a menace to society, then you will also expect them to give tough love and send you away to rehab. If you have a nonchalant family then good luck with that. You have to look somewhere else for support.
  12. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    Family can help you or can destroy you. While I know how important is the role of family in the recovery process of an addict, there are times when communication is null.

    Having a family that supports the individual to overcome addiction and goes along the way trying to get the right help, is a blessing from God.

    However a family who blames the addicted person, who distrusts his/her good intention to quit alcohol and drugs, and even turns violent against him/her might lead this individual to extreme situations, including committing suicide.

    Even though, what @serenity says should be right way to go when family is no supportive; to find the needed support elsewhere.
  13. LindaSuzanne

    LindaSuzanne Active Contributor

    I feel I helped my son too much. I gave him a safe haven to do drugs when I took him in after the break up of his relationship with his partner, also an addict. He had a child (which I now have custody of) and I would come home from work and find needles and drug paraphanalia all over their bedroom.

    It seems the more I help him the more he resents me so where do I draw the line? I've always been there for him but he seems to take advanatge of this. He even said that family will always forgive you no matter what you do so it's easier to treat them badly.