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Feeling hopeless

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Bd2617, Dec 15, 2018.

  1. Bd2617

    Bd2617 Member

    I have been using poppy seed tea over the course of the last year and a half. I use it once daily and wash one to one and a half cups at a time. I have a family vacation coming up in about a week and a half and unfortunately I wont be able to take my habit with me. I am about halfway through my fourth day of detox and I am feeling more miserable than ever. Yesterday afternoon through early evening I was feeling pretty decent. Almost all of my symptoms had gone away and anxiety levels were minimal. About bedtime everything came rushing back and has been constant ever since. It is really discouraging thinking that the worst was over yesterday and now I feel like I'm back on day one. I feel like I dont have the strength to make it one more day. I want to take something to diminish these withdrawals even if it's just a little bit but I dont want to prolong this any longer than it has to be. In desperation I went to urgent care today and told them I was experiencing severe anxiety. They gave me something called hydroxyzene. It made me a little drowsy but had little effect otherwise. I guess I'm just looking for a little support and input? I'm going at this alone. I'm a recovering alcoholic of 3 years. My family was a big part of my recovery and I just dont have it in me to tell them that i failed again. I'm hoping i will be somewhat normal by next weekend but who knows. It's not looking good at this point.
  2. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I'm not completely sure so forgive me if this is a dumb question but isn't poppy seed in high quantity similar to a heroin addiction?
    deanokat likes this.
  3. Bd2617

    Bd2617 Member

    I dont have any experience with heroin but they are made from the same plant. Although the potency of pst is probably weaker I'm sure the addiction and withdrawals are very similar
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Bd2617 hey there. thanks for reaching out. i'm not sure i have any input for how you can feel better coming off the tea.... lots of water...and time. but i'm not familiar with that type of tea... i hope you're feeling better today.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Bd2617... We're here for you, my friend. We will support you however we can, so please feel free to lean on us anytime you'd like. I don't have any experience with poppy seed tea, but I hope you will start to feel better sooner rather than later. How are you doing today?
  6. Bd2617

    Bd2617 Member

    I'm on day number 11. The last couple of days I have felt fairly normal but today felt like I was starting all over again! Horrible unbearable anxiety that will not subside no matter what I do. Unfortunately I'm out of time and leaving for vacation in the morning. I was really hoping to feel better by now
  7. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Bd2617... Congrats on Day 11. That's great progress. I'm sorry that you're feeling bad today. Hopefully it's just an anomaly and you'll get back to feeling fairly normal again tomorrow. Fingers crossed. I'm praying for you, too. I hope you have a wonderful vacation. :)
    True concern likes this.
  8. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I think maybe you are anxious about going on vacation but I believe once you get there it will all be better and by all means have a blast.:)
    deanokat likes this.
  9. Bd2617

    Bd2617 Member

    Got back from vacation and was feeling descent. The following day I had a panic attack and started to shake uncontrollably. It was so bad that I was having trouble walking and talking. I gave in and used again out of desperation. I'm ashamed of myself and so mad that I went through all of that for nothing. I've come to the conclusion that I cant do this on my own. I've been doing some research on suboxone and thinking about talking to a clinic and trying it out. Does anyone have any experience with this drug?
    Dominica likes this.
  10. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Don't be ashamed my friend, I know it's easier said than done but you are human,struggling or not you are worth more than addiction wants for you.I personally don't have much experience with suboxone but I do hope someone can help you out.Stay Strong my friend and God Bless
    deanokat likes this.
  11. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Bd2617 hey there. thanks for coming here and sharing. reaching out for help should do you well. i don't have exp. with suboxone...but have heard it helps others... great idea to discuss this with a professional though. do whatever it takes! and consider seeing a counselor to start working on alternative ways to handle anxiety.... might help!!
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  12. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Bd2617... My son took Suboxone for a couple of years to help him overcome a heroin addiction. It helped him a lot. Probably saved his life. I would definitely talk to a clinic or an addiction specialist to see if they think Suboxone could help you. And please don't be ashamed of yourself. Instead, use your relapse as a learning experience and keep moving forward. We're here for you. Always remember that.
    True concern likes this.
  13. Aodafml2

    Aodafml2 Senior Contributor

    I would highly recommend NOT replacing a p.s.t. habbit with suboxone maintenance, if you do, stay on a low dose (2mg) or less, for as short of periods you can. From my expirence pst..is mild, compared to most opiate highs, dont even get me started on sub doctors. They'll most likely get you hooked harder, just my 2 cents,
    Do some research, good luck
    Also,,check out kratom, it helps alot of peeps,
    deanokat likes this.