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Feeling suicidal but too afraid to carry out the act

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by Rowe992, Feb 19, 2015.

  1. RingoBerry

    RingoBerry Senior Contributor

    I tried twice before with sleeping pills and vodka but the pain I worried having from it was not physical but mental and emotional distress I will cause other people which is why I never tried anything like that again. We all have the right to be selfish but to what extent?
  2. kjonesm1

    kjonesm1 Community Champion

    I tried it and ended up in the hospital getting my stomach pumped and getting mentally evaluated for 3 days. When I got out all I had was a honking huge medical bill. Don't do it. The pain you may or may not feel is a drop in the bucket compared to the pain and devastation you leave behind. Your pain will be fleeting, the pain you leave will be permanent. I thank God he did not allow me to take my own life.
  3. wander_n_wonder

    wander_n_wonder Active Contributor

    Luckily, suicide has never crossed my mind. Whenever I feel extremely lonely, I always pray to God and that immediately relieves me. I think suicide thoughts occur when positivity is totally gone. Some people feel it's the very last resort. I strongly suggest praying all the time.

    For those who are really suicidal, I don't think they will even worry about the pain that they might feel when they do the act. I'm quite sure that there are far sadder thoughts in their mind other than that.
  4. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    I am just laughing at you. How can you fear life? Just think of this, There is falling and rising. Whatever falls it means that thing was up, and whatever rises means that thing was down. You may feel guilty of whatever happened but that will come to pass, it depends on how fast you want to rise again. I thought of that when I had no job and used to drink heavily, but another thought came that my creator made this world for me. Then why can I fear living here. Next I found myself thinking of my dreams, which I have not achieved. I wanted children and a big family, that is why my father did not commit suicide!
  5. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    That is the right thing to do Lily, we need to talk to someone because if we continue to be closed upon ourselves we might end up reasoning that it's the right thing to do...
  6. rainbowguard

    rainbowguard Senior Contributor

    I personally never feel that I want to commit suicide even though I fantazise that I am dying a lot. Like people who fantazise going to war, winning lotteries, etc., sometimes I like to fantazie that I am dying so that is quite far away from suicidal thoughts. I am raised in a religious environment where suicide is a sin no matter what the reason is so I can't even talk about it.

    I think nowadays people can look up less painful method of suicide so anyone who is ready to end his life can just google it and make that hasty decision. It is sad, really.
  7. Clairelouise84

    Clairelouise84 Senior Contributor

    I still don't totally believe that suicide is the act of a selfish person, I believe it is the act of a desperate person. Please just remember that no matter what, there will be at least one person that cares about you and misses you. When I tried it I had no idea for a very long time how badly it affected my family, it put my Mum into a deep spiral of depression as she felt as though she should have seen the signs. It was painful and excruciating and I did myself some serious long term damage. I was only found out because my sister heard me throwing up on the landing. I now have intense pain in my stomach every single day and there is nothing that the doctors can do about it. My kidney and liver function is at around 60% and I am constantly having hospital appointments and I do not have a normal life. All because of the one thing I did that went horribly wrong.
  8. RingoBerry

    RingoBerry Senior Contributor

    The reason why I categorized it as a selfish act is because I never considered the dilemma I was going to cause others specially the people who felt helpless in trying to help me. Suicide can trigger this chain of depression to people who lost a loved one to this act. There were instances where parents, siblings, lovers and even friends took their own lives as well - they question themselves, their self worth because their loved one resorted to suicide instead of trying to ask for help from them. We have every right to hate the ugly side of our lives but we have no right to cause further pain to others.

    When my kid sister heard what I did, she told me that she would've simply thrown herself in front of a speeding bus and that she wouldn't feel it anyway. Without me, she will be alone. Our parents are kind people but they've always expected us to adapt to every situation in our family which included sending me away to my hateful grandfather so he would quit verbally harassing my mother. Had I tried killing myself a third time and succeeded, my kid sister would have been dead too and I can't even imagine what that would have done to my mother. If my mother got sick, what happens to my little nephews and niece who are still depending on her to sustain them? I would have ruined all these people's lives just to escape from my own. That screams nothing but selfishness to me.
    Clairelouise84 likes this.
  9. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Yes, I definitely have felt suicidal at several points in my life, but I was also too afraid to slash my wrists or hang myself, and I'm also afraid of the spiritual consequences of suicide, so I end up doing nothing and the feeling just passes by and then I'm back to my normal happy self again. I agree with Shimus as well, having hope does make a huge difference when you're depressed, because you look forward that someday, your life will change for the better. That's actually how my mindset works now.
  10. Clairelouise84

    Clairelouise84 Senior Contributor

    That is fair enough, it is a very difficult situation to be in I imagine. I think I tell myself it is not selfish because I was 5 when my uncle took his own life, leaving my wonderful Auntie with 5 children to look after and I get so torn between wanting to understand why he did it and hating him for leaving her with so much I guess sometimes I go into denial about it.
  11. BethBrown

    BethBrown Member

    I cannot understand what you are going through. I have personally never been suicidal, although I do struggle with depression. However, I am thankful for that fear that you have if it's the only thing keeping you alive. There is hope. There are people who love you, whether you realize it or not. Hold on for them, even if you can't do it for yourself. Hold on. Live.
  12. sazzydan

    sazzydan Active Contributor

    Suicidal thoughts are usually a sign that things are getting too much for you. It is not a bad thing necessarily to have these thoughts because for most people in makes them change what is making them feel this way.

    I do suggest that if anyone is having suicidal thoughts regularly to see your doctor. Although I appreciate it may be hard to discuss with a doctor, It will be for the best because there are a number of things they can do, such as:

    offer counseling sessions- One on one sessions with a trained counselor to help you overcome the problems you are facing.

    Peer to peer group sessions- This is where you meet up with other people experiencing the same issues.

    Medication- Anti-depressants can seriously help with these kinds of feelings, but is not the first option you should take.

    These are just three of the options available to you, just remember, there is ALWAYS help available when you need it the most. This forum can talk you through the tough times too, if you felt an in person conversation would be too much, it is just a matter of talking to people.

    For anyone having these thoughts now, try and talk it oit, think of what makes you happy. Suicide is not the answer!
  13. TommyVercetti

    TommyVercetti Community Champion

    I know that feeling depressed and suicidal is hardly the best time to get into reading difficult books, but if you find yourself asking questions about your thoughts and feelings of suicide, or why it has occurred to you in the first place, I urge you to read the works of Albert Camus and Friedrich Nietzsche. They have some ideas (particularly Camus) about suicide.

    I'm not going to even attempt to give a summary of Camus' work because in my experience, it's one of the hardest works to read (some are incredibly BORING especially the parts about absurdity!) and it's a journey that you must make for yourself.
  14. Shimus

    Shimus Community Champion

    Also if someone says they've never contemplated suicide they're lying. There is always, without fail, one or two spots in our life where will contemplate it. Through stress or worldly induced woes, the majority of people have thought it at least once or twice, if not more. The person who says, "No I haven't" hasn't had this crippling experience happen to them yet, or something to shake them to their very core. When they do, they'll look around for sites like this. And then they'll see posts of other people who suffered the same and made it through to the other side - still alive.

  15. Please read this.
    I hope that every one of you reading this, NEVER take your life! Please! I will help you! If no one loves you, I will love you. Please contact me at anytime before you ever do anything!
    My email address is:
    Put HELP in the subject line please so I will know.
  16. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I did experienced having such feeling as well before and what stopped me was the idea that it is not a good thing to do. I am a Catholic and suicide is a sin and I believe in that.
  17. kh6912

    kh6912 Member

    When I was a teen, I cared little about what happened to me. I suppose you could say I was passively suicidal. I put myself in plenty of dangerous and potentially dangerous situations, but I never felt fear. I think if you are feeling fearful, perhaps a part of you is aware that you have something worth living for. I would recommend reaching out to friends or family.. anyone you have a loving relationship with. Please don't go through this alone. There is much worth living for and sometimes we just need to be reminded.
  18. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    I have, but my main reasons for not going through with it was the pain and also what my family would feel like. If I did not have a wonderful group of people supporting me, then I would have done it a long time ago. I really need to go thank those people.
  19. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    I love the permanent solution quote. People really do not realize that. Problems come and go, but your life does not come back. You only get one go around, and people definitely take that for granted, which is wrong.
  20. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    Hope is the one thing that is instilled in all humans, and hope is the main thing that keeps most people going. Hope is everywhere, but sometimes you just have to look for it. It is not always out in the open, which causes you to go out and look for a purpose.
    Shimus likes this.