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Finnaly through with evil

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine / Meth' started by Aar0n, Feb 12, 2018.

  1. Aar0n

    Aar0n Member

    This has been so devastating to my soul and the people I love. Everytime I drink too much, I end up forgetting about all the torment I dealt with after. It took me multiple times before I realized how serious this was; I was about to lose everything, including the girl I love so much. Everytime, I think that I can get away with it because I didn't do very much. It turned me into this sexual deviant that made me want to do things so shameful that I would never ever do sober. The end result was horrible, which I felt before and everytime I questioned myself as to why I keep doing this! I learned something that I didn't realize the last time up until the very last time. I experienced immense pain over thinking about the people I hurt that love me. It's finally enough. I cannot bare the thought of embarrassment and losing my fiance. I love her more than anything and I will do ANYTHING to fix this. She gave me one last chance, I think. I'm not screwing this up for her or for me and my child. I am still really hurt that I hurt her and was too selfish to make a change earlier. I would do anything to reverse this, but I can't. So I pray to God all the time for help and hope, that I didn't lose a beautiful women. I will not let her down or my child. If you really love someone, you will leave this life forever. I need a chance, another one. The pain/torture is not worth it. On the road to my happiness.
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Aaron hi there. thanks for reaching out. i'm sorry you are struggling so much. it does sound like you are ready to make this big change in your life... let me ask you something. have you ever really reached out for help in your community? treatment? counselor? 12 Step group? sometimes it takes help from a professional to really beat an addiction... but many won't reach out for one reason or another.... i just want to say if you can get help that way, consider it... you don't have to try to beat the disease of addiction alone...

    if you find you need extra help, reach out. find a way and find the recovery path that works for you. addiction is a disease...and there are treatments... will power alone doesn't always work..

    you are on your road to happiness...yes.. my hope and prayer is that you can stay on the recovery path and get help if you need.
    Lostboy8731 likes this.
  3. Neveragain29

    Neveragain29 Member

    My fiance (former) is a meth addict and he has put me through a hell I never knew existed. I pray he has a moment like this to realize what he's done. I sympathize with your fiance because I know her pain. If you truly know her pain then DO what needs to be done to help her heal. Be there and get yourself help.
    Go to rehab but also find a spiritual path.
    I have given my fiance so many chances. I don't want him anymore because I don't want anymore of this pain.

    Heal you and then help heal her.
    Dominica likes this.