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first day of sobriety after a horrific experience

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by phantomlight, Oct 7, 2017.

  1. phantomlight

    phantomlight Member

    I smashed a window, cursed out my friend, and pulled a knife on my brother the other night because he wouldn't give my bottle back to me. the cops were called and everything calmed down after that and no one got hurt. I may have lost one of my closest friends now because he sees that I am out of control. Now I feel like I am going to be a loner again for a long time. I do not want to drink anymore. Not even socially. I do not know how to go about this exactly. I am starting a journal to keep my thoughts collected but I really hope I can manage without messing everything up again. Alcohol has ruined enough of my life. I can not drink anymore. and I have said this in the past but somehow end up going right back to the bottle. I need to do this for real. I do not know what is wrong with me.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @phantomlight... You have a disease called addiction. That's what's "wrong" with you. You are not a bad person; just a sick person. Have you ever considered finding an addiction specialist and consulting with them? They can assess your situation and suggest the best next steps for you. What about checking out AA or SMART Recovery (12-step alternative) meetings? Or seeing a therapist who specializes in addiction? Most addictions have underlying causes that can be discovered, confronted, and conquered. All of those things I mentioned could really help you.

    Keeping a journal is a good way to organize your thoughts. Writing about your issues can help you understand them better. So can talking about them. Just know that you can come here anytime and share your thoughts with us. We will listen, because we care.

    As for the friend that you think you may have lost... I would suggest you sit down and have an honest conversation with him. Tell him exactly what you told us here. Tell him you want to stop. Tell him you are going to seek help. I'm guessing he would be understanding and supportive.

    Sending you lots of encouragement and hope.
  3. phantomlight

    phantomlight Member

    thank you so much. I have a full day sober now. I'm feeling pretty messed up but I'm trying to put all the pieces back together.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Congrats on your first full day, @phantomlight. Take things one day at a time. Or one hour or minute at a time. Whatever helps keep you moving forward. I will keep good thoughts for you. I have confidence that you can do this.
  5. phantomlight

    phantomlight Member

    Thank you again deanokat !! I got a few days sober so far now. i feel really different. its not exactly good but i know if i keep it up i will feel better and finally make some serious progress in my life. :/
    deanokat likes this.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Congrats, @phantomlight! Yes, if you keep it up you will feel better!! You are making great progress, my friend! I'm proud of you!
  7. Sober David

    Sober David Member

    Years ago. Alcohol sober living home. Desperate and WILLING to accept help. Worst day of my life. Years later turns out to be BEST day of my life. How could that be? I have a good life today. Mainly happy and content. No longer crave or even think about drinking. Alcoholics Anonymous. Saved my life. SOBER people there willing to help. DO what is SUGGESTED and you too can do what I and tens of thousands of others ( from all walks of life) have done. I hope you are desperate enough and willing enough to give it a try. Learn about alcoholism. It is a deadly condition. No sugar coating the deal: about 2 people out of 10 recover from it. If this fact scares you then that's a good thing. Please go to a meeting. Please get the book and READ IT. YOUR LIFE may well depend on it.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Thanks for your insightful post, @Sober David. I'm so glad you're sober, happy, and content! Keep doing the next right thing!
  9. Sober David

    Sober David Member

    Thanks for the praise but it's not necessary or even helpful really. I'm just doing these days what I should have been doing all along. Serious business. You in trouble behind booze? Take action. Seek a drunk that has gotten sober in AA. Ask that person how they did it. Maybe try to do what they did to the best of your ability, as if your life depended on it. Maybe it does.
    deanokat likes this.
  10. Sober David

    Sober David Member

    I don't intent to be rude. What other people think of me is really not my business. We all want validation of course. Meaningful validation comes from within. But praise for doing what you should have been doing all along doesn't get people sober. You can't stop drinking but have a day or two of sobriety? Well good, you didn't die. Now do it again tomorrow. Early sobriety: take it one day at a time. Here's a nice little fact: there is no CURE for alcoholism. The ONLY thing that keeps alcoholism in remission is complete and total abstinance. ****. I didn't like that one when I first heard it. So how do you stay sober for the long haul? Don't worry about that now. Just do tomorrow sober. How? Ask a sober drunk.
    deanokat likes this.