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Fooling themselves?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by pineywood, Apr 11, 2015.

  1. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    I think some people do not think they are an alcoholic, just because they keep up with their daily routine successfully. I think if you "have" to drink everyday and you "do" drink everyday, you have an addiction and this addiction is called being an alcoholic. I think the key word here is "have" to drink and you "can not" go one day without drinking.

    What do you think? Is drinking everyday because you "need to" okay, as long as, you keep up with you are gong about your daily routine with no serious complications, like maintaining relationships and bringing in an income? Or is this person just fooling themselves?
  2. adfnio

    adfnio Community Champion

    I use to be a heavy drinker before I got divorced. I can honestly say that being drunk all the time did not help my relationship at all. From the people at work to normal everyday citizens at the grocery store. If the smell that radiated from me shirt didn't get to them, then my unpopular attitude did. After I gave up hard liquor I could think more and wasn't as lazy as I use to be.
    pineywood likes this.
  3. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I know people and I myself have drank everyday and carried on with a normal routine.

    I saw it as a way to relax at the end of the day, when works over and you've done all the family stuff I enjoyed having a beer before I went to bed. I didn't do it every night, there's was some days I didn't want a drink so I didn't have one but more often than not I did.

    I think your right that there's a big difference between wanting a drink and feeling that you have to have one.
    pineywood likes this.
  4. AAngelo

    AAngelo Senior Contributor

    I once thought that keeping up with life and while under the influence of alcohol was not a problem. I've come to work under the influence and I was still able to do a decent enough job that nobody called me out on it. And by "under the influence", I mean I was reeking. But I still got my act together. I didn't think I had a problem.

    But soon enough, it caught up on me. I lost a bunch of friends and got into a few fist fights I had no business being in. I was pacifist back then with a ton of "peeps". The thing with alcoholics is that alcohol starts changing you. Where in social drinkers, it was squeezed into life. For alcoholics, they changed so that life squeezed into drinking.
    pineywood likes this.
  5. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    It's often referred to as being a "functional alcoholic" (or other type of addict). There are people who appear on the surface to be just fine, since they are able to meet their daily responsibilities, despite drinking (or drugs).

    I do think when you *have* to have one, you have an addiction. While addiction is often marked by not being functional, functional addicts still have a problem.
    Bonzer and pineywood like this.
  6. cheeto

    cheeto Member

    Absolutely not. Functioning alcoholics are still alcoholics. If you let the booze control you, you have a problem. I knew a woman once who was an unusual alcoholic: every night after work she would come home and sit down with a glass or two of wine. Never got drunk. Just a glass or two. But she realized she would raise hell if she ran out or if she thought she had more around the hosue but didn't. Ultimately she realized that she couldn't continue with her routine without that glass of wine. So even though she was successful, the booze controlled her.
    pineywood likes this.
  7. lgdg090596

    lgdg090596 Senior Contributor

    I think it's okay as long as you can get on with your life.
    pineywood likes this.
  8. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    If your alcohol consumption is causing problems for you, or those around you, then that's the time to seek help. I would certainly agree that there is a difference between "wanting" a drink and "needing" one.
    pineywood likes this.
  9. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion


    Oh, I wondered, if there was a term for this. It makes me stop and think that sometimes, we just really do not know what is going on behind closed doors or inside the mind of others who are an alcoholic or drug addict. It has to be difficult to keep it all compartmentalized and separated. I guess, when this happens, this is when thing start to fall apart and there can be no more denial.
    Zyni likes this.
  10. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I think you'll probably find that there are a lot more of this type of alcoholic than you think. People justify drinking too much by saying to themselves (and others) that they obviously don't have a problem because they still go to work everyday.


    Like you say nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors and alcohol can affect anybody and everybody from all walks of life.
    pineywood likes this.
  11. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    I think that drinking every day is alright but it all depends on the quantity and type of alcohol that you are consuming. For example, my great grandmother drank a small glass of red wine every evening during her adult life, and she lived to be 97. She was convinced that the wine was helping her circulation and benefiting her heart.
    I also have many German friends who drink a glass of beer or two on a daily basis. They consider it as "food".
    So, it all depends on your attitude, your health, and last but not least, your constitution.
    pineywood likes this.
  12. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Here in the UK also it's considered just a prt of normal life to come home from work and have a few beers. Not saying if that's right or wrong but it's certainly accepted and definitley not frowned upon.

    I think the key word here also is 'few'. As in a couple. People who feel the need to drink 8-10 beers every night are obviously pushing things to the limit.
    pineywood likes this.
  13. Clairelouise84

    Clairelouise84 Senior Contributor

    Fooling themselves well and truly, it is one of the most dangerous forms of denial as it allows a problem to continue for far longer than it should. I was drinking every single day and still going to work (drunk) and coming home, I had a routine, I had friends and I had "normality" but I was still an alcoholic, I was just an alcoholic with a job.
    pineywood likes this.
  14. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    Having a drink is very different to having a few drinks. It should also not be something that you have to have. If you can't do without it, you have a problem. Sometimes it is just a habit. If this is the case you should be able to replace it with something else.
    pineywood likes this.
  15. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    I am not too sure how I feel about there being a difference between an addiction and a habit. So, I started a thread to find out how others feel. Feel free to join in. I would be most interested in learning why you feel this way. perhaps, I am being a little too closed minded in this respect. Truthfully, it comes from dealing with too many people I love trying to fool themselves that they do not have a problem.
  16. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    It's true that there is a fine line between addiction and habit and perhaps the only way to distinguish between the two is to see if you can actually go without that thing without suffering any physical effects.
    pineywood likes this.
  17. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I agree that some people are just trying to fool themselves. They're trying to justify that they "need a drink" rather than they "want a drink." It's like they're in denial that they've got alcohol problems already.
    pineywood likes this.
  18. XiaoDre

    XiaoDre Active Contributor

    If you have to drink everyday, then you would be considered an alcoholic. This would be a form of addiction because one feels that they have to do it daily. It does not mater if you are able to do your normal routine everyday, if you need a drink everyday, then you are considered an addict. People get so used to the taste of alcohol because it can be addictive. I am a witness of this because I love the taste of alcohol. I try to drink on the weekends and I will say things such as I need to drink. I look forward to the weekends so that I can drink, so if people say they need to drink daily, we are both considered alcoholics. They are definitely fooling themselves.
    pineywood likes this.
  19. henry

    henry Community Champion

    If you just "have" to drink every day, then, yes, I would consider you to be an alcoholic. Your body's gotten so used to it that it asks for it every day. That's what's called an addiction. Coffee is also an addiction if you have to have it every day. I know people that if they don't get their daily cup of coffee, they start getting headaches. Anything you have to do every day is an addiction, unless is some basic bodily function or something.
    pineywood likes this.
  20. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    They're fooling themselves. Being able to manage your daily life isn't going to keep your liver healthy. He can also get deeper and deeper into it and lose everything he has worked for.
    pineywood likes this.