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Fooling themselves?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by pineywood, Apr 11, 2015.

  1. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I feel like here it's almost culturally acceptable to have a drink daily. You get more weird looks if you say you're not drinking at a get together after work, or a friend's birthday, or any sort of gathering really. I do think anything can be classed as an addiction if you have a reliance on it. It's one thing to enjoy a glass of wine daily, for instance, but if you truly cannot manage without it (for instance you'd get mad without it, or have to race to the store to buy a bottle so that you had your glass filled) then there's a problem. It's a fine line!
    pineywood likes this.
  2. kjonesm1

    kjonesm1 Community Champion

    You are absolutely right, many alcoholics are in denial. Being a 'functioning' alcoholic does not justify it. If a person is drinking every day they have a problem.
    pineywood likes this.
  3. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Good point about cultural differences and having one or two drinks vs needing to have one drink. I think I need to step back and give this more thought! Thanks for your input!
  4. JoanMcWench

    JoanMcWench Community Champion

    Being a functional alcoholic doesn't really speak to whether or not you have a problem with alcohol. It just speaks to your body being able to function & not interrupt your life in ways that may make someone else examine their habit. That's not to say it's not doing damage & possibly more than the person unable to function while drinking. It's how being dependent can creep up on those who are unaware they're dependent until they try to put the bottle down.
    pineywood likes this.
  5. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    I remember people telling me that a glass of wine a day is good for you. It isn't only acceptable and expected, but encouraged. A lot of people can handle a drink every day and be fine, but there are some people who are going to he that encouragement to justify excessive drinking. I did at first.
    pineywood likes this.
  6. karmaskeeper

    karmaskeeper Community Champion

    Yes it is a slow process with alcohol. The person thinks they are in control. That is the part that causes the many break down little by little a persons life is chipped away til nothing remains, but a bad habit.
    pineywood, kana_marie and pwarbi like this.
  7. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    The thing about being in control and alcohol, is that alcohol actually gives you the feeling your in control because it gives you confidence and free's up your inabitions.

    Then of course it can be a vicious circle. You have to have a drink to feel in control and you soon find that you can't break that cycle
    pineywood and kana_marie like this.
  8. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    That is so true!! It was so much more than just wanting to get drunk. It makes you feel in control, less anxious, confident, strong, sexy, smart...normal
    pineywood likes this.
  9. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Oh goodness, do you mean someone addicted to alcohol feels more in control, less anxious, confident, etc? I could see how a casual drinker might feel this way. Since, I am no longer a drinker, and never reached the point of having a drink on a daily basis, I can only base my opinion on those around me that reached this point of being out of control, anxious, weak, and incoherent. Perhaps, you could explain this more to me?
    EditorsRHumansToo! likes this.
  10. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Some alcoholics may feel like they need or have to drink because if they don't, it would be more painful for them. However, you can also look at it this way: the mind wants to change and start anew but the flesh is weak. Because the mind and the body are severely competing with each other, the pressure often becomes too much for the person. It's much easier to succumb than to resist. Resisting requires great strength and if you're already physically and psychologically spent, then it's not going to be an easy feat.
    pineywood likes this.
  11. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    A lot of the time, well in my case anyway, somebody addicted to alcohol doesn't think, or won't believe that they actually have a problem in the first place.

    Alcohol will have the same effect on most people, giving them the same types of feeling. It's just for some, they get to the point of not being able to live without that feeling.
    pineywood likes this.
  12. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I was a functioning alcoholic. It rough trying to put on a straight face at work and riding on 4 hours of sleep and an overdose of coffee. Lots of people so it and I got tired of it.
    pineywood likes this.
  13. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I'd imagine it's more common than what people actually think. I was the same, holding down a job and keeping up with the family life and routine. After a while it grinds you down though and I think you can only go on with that for so long before it catches up with you and something has to give.
    pineywood likes this.
  14. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    I think some people don't believe that they have a problem and also it can, affect a persons life as well and also it can be problem as you can get used to being drunk and thinking you can function like that. I know someone who used to do that, thinking he could drive the car did not get far just hit the garage door and was passed out and had to take him inside the house and that woke him up from just drinking everyday. I have seen a lot of people who have been confused and also, drinking and tying to go to work like that and have not been able to do that.
    pineywood likes this.
  15. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    I like the way you explained this conflict and competition between the body and the mind. This makes perfect sense to me. I think, many people who do get to this point, drink because it would be too painful without that drink. This may be why some of my close family members just keep going year after year, trying to stop, but unable. The pain is too much of a challenge to deal with both physically and mentally. What a horrific struggle to think about. It is so easy to say mind over matter, yet there is so much that complicates the situation, especially when one is "tired". I understand that emotion, too well, sometimes.

    I noticed a lot of posts about how tiring it can be to balance your daily life as an alcoholic.


    I wonder how many people reach rock bottom like this and actually stop? Glad to hear it was a wake up call for your friend. I have noticed there can be a lot of rationalizing away why we may have hit that garage door, or worse yet something or someone else. Drinking and driving is another topic and a very scary one!

  16. EditorsRHumansToo!

    EditorsRHumansToo! Community Champion

    Alcoholism, addiction and substance abuse should be identified and named for what they are. So that an individual who has gotten (her)himself into some form of abuse should address it intelligently-- with better understanding and self-awareness-- for his/her need in making an internal change for the best quality of life.

    Life is the purpose for living, isn't it? Life is the 'need' to living. Drugs and alcohol are not a need and necessity to life!

    I heard from a wise man, " Real healing is not about solving a problem: instead, it is about becoming self-aware."
    pineywood likes this.
  17. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Aha. Shmuley Boteach, 10 Conversations You Need to Have with Yourself.

    You see, I agree with you about your good intentions and insight into the purpose of life. I will share a conversation with you and others, that I overhead while sitting in the reception area of a dentist office, which by the way can be a stressful experience in and of itself.

    A lady was asking another lady, how was she doing? The lady replied, oh you know, I have my complications and in life, but if I did not have these challenges, I would no longer be living. I would rather be living, you know.

    I am sure she either heard this from a wise friend or from a book, too. I probably am not even saying it verbatim; nevertheless her outlook on life resonated with me deep into my spirit of keeping a positive attitude during difficult times (again easier said then done, not even sure if it is even positionable in all situations -matter of fact, I think sometimes letting our frustration out can be healing in and of itself, within boundaries). So yes, I can appreciate your philosophical thought. Thanks for sharing.

    This is why, I choose the signature line, "Happiness can exist only in acceptance"

    Now, my issue with an internal change is the issue of genetic makeup.
    EditorsRHumansToo! likes this.
  18. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    I think an alcoholic is someone who is enslaved by alcohol. By that i mean you can't do without it and in the process you've managed to ruin your work performance, your social life and your health in general is in poor shape.
    pineywood likes this.
  19. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    When I was a casual drinker ingot to this point all the time, when I reached a case a day I still felt good... Just then it would be right before I blacked out. There were some things i couldn't do unless I was drunk because I didnt have the confidence or desire to do anything... Karaoke, talk to people I didn't know, have sex, talk to people I'd had sex with, clean house, blog, dance, and the list goes on and on. I remember feeling anxious about getting drunk whenever I would crack my first beer everyday. I would have to chug it to drown the butterflies in my tummy.
    pineywood likes this.
  20. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Aha. Thanks for explaining. Your last two sentences is what I was wondering about, "I remember feeling anxious about getting drunk whenever I would crack my first beer everyday. I would have to chug it to drown the butterflies in my tummy." So, you are saying that while sober, you were tentative to take that first drink of the day. Yet, you felt like all your doubts and insecurities would go away after that first drink?

    Do you think this stemmed from the guilt of knowing you were drinking too much on a regular basis, or do you think it stemmed from not liking the feeling that you felt you could not do these activities without a drink?

    Oh, and I would be remiss, if I did not congratulate you on your sobriety today, along with your willingness to share and support others!
    kana_marie likes this.