Freedom from Fentanyl

Considering I am down to one 12 mictogram patch left.... I am relieved that my withdraw aches and pains are starting to subside from my last decrement.

One last sick to go and I am finally free from this fu(kin beast.

It will be awesome to be totally drug free... no methadone... no sub strips... nothing.

I am so glad I chose the path to sobrity I did.

Hey Dean.
Feelin less achy... which is good considering I just cut my last 12 microgram patch in two today.

I am afraid about how intense my last period of sickness will be and for how long it will last. I do believe I did everything right in my tapering endeavor, however I am still scared about the last leg of this journey.

I hope I get through this last stretch.

Doxymom, Deanocat, True Concern and Dominica.

When I have beat my demon, I will most certainly drop by from time to time to update y'all about my abstenance as well as my travels.

Y'all have walked with me during some of the darkest hours in my life.

My getting well does not constitute a finish to the relationships I have developed here. I am not able to walk through something like this then turn my back upon people who were there for me in my darkest hours.

All of you mean a great deal to me and I cannot thank you all enough for the support you provided during this.

If I knew how to change my name on this site... I would have done it long ago. But this site does not provide that option I don't think. Not that it really matters much because I know who I am.

May the Creator bring sunshine into your lives... even when it rains.

Dearest sweet Dominica.

Whatever you are depressed about, I promise it will pass. You are the strongest most giving and authentic women I have ever met. If I could take you in my arms right now, I surly would... just to assure you that things will be fine.

You are in my heart Dominica... always and forever.

8am where I am.

Just put on my last half patch. Feeling very afraid about the intensity of the sickness I will go through and for how long it will last.

@loser Robert, yes you need to change your name if you could as you are a winner. Even when you first started this path. Try and not be too scared as it will be easier than you think and a million times easier then cold turkey would have been. I'm rooting for you buddy. You are almost there.
@Dominica I'm so sorry to hear you are suffering with depression right now. I'm sending you hugs and hope that tomorrow you feel better. Today is the first day of daylight savings and I don't know if you have that where you are but the days are getting longer and that always makes me feel better. Hang in there my friend.

@loser it's now 3 days since you started the last patch. I'm wondering how you are doing and wanting you to know I'm rooting for you in PA, USA. You got this!

Haven't left for there yet. Will do so on the 4th. Still, I need those prayers as my withdraws are kicking in. Aches, pains, stomach, sweats, diahrea.... but it'll pass.

Not so good. Feeling rough... but in time it'll pass.

My body has to clean itself... thus, I have to go through this.

Thanks for your support Doxymom... it means alot.

I concur with Dean... it is definitely ok to be not ok.

And... you are loved... both of you.

So... day 3 indeed.

I have no more half patches left. Of course, I am pissing out of my ass and enduring all the symptoms of withdraws... of course to a far lesser degree than it could have been going cold turkey at 100 micrograms .

They will stop.... the mantra I have been telling myself on every dose descent since 63 micrograms. I doubt there are many people that can relate to what I have gone through over the last 6 months (thank God)... a full blown heroin withdrawl at every dose decent since 63 micrograms. It has been Hell... but it is almost over.

It has been a long hard journey here.... which reminds me of that classic rock song by Journey, 'Don't stop beliving'. I never stopped... and when the sick is done... I won.

@loser Robert now there is a song title. When the sick is done, I've won. I'm so happy to hear you are hanging in there. Every day is better.
@Dominica I'm in NE PA and it's pretty cold but finally we will have some spring weather, getting up in the 60's! Yay!