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Freedom from Fentanyl

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by loser, Mar 13, 2018.

  1. loser

    loser Community Champion

    Considering I am down to one 12 mictogram patch left.... I am relieved that my withdraw aches and pains are starting to subside from my last decrement.

    One last sick to go and I am finally free from this fu(kin beast.

    It will be awesome to be totally drug free... no methadone... no sub strips... nothing.

    I am so glad I chose the path to sobrity I did.
    Hey Dean.
    Feelin less achy... which is good considering I just cut my last 12 microgram patch in two today.

    I am afraid about how intense my last period of sickness will be and for how long it will last. I do believe I did everything right in my tapering endeavor, however I am still scared about the last leg of this journey.

    I hope I get through this last stretch.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  2. loser

    loser Community Champion

    Doxymom, Deanocat, True Concern and Dominica.

    When I have beat my demon, I will most certainly drop by from time to time to update y'all about my abstenance as well as my travels.

    Y'all have walked with me during some of the darkest hours in my life.

    My getting well does not constitute a finish to the relationships I have developed here. I am not able to walk through something like this then turn my back upon people who were there for me in my darkest hours.

    All of you mean a great deal to me and I cannot thank you all enough for the support you provided during this.

    If I knew how to change my name on this site... I would have done it long ago. But this site does not provide that option I don't think. Not that it really matters much because I know who I am.

    May the Creator bring sunshine into your lives... even when it rains.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  3. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @loser Robert, hey there! i know you'll never forget us, and we feel the same about you! and yes, we'd love to hear about your travels and life. send some pics every now and then so we can see the world through your eyes! :)

    i'm believing your withdrawals won't be as bad.... that it might even be easy breezy.... and you are so close. this is truly remarkable. what a journey you are on!!

    thank you for the prayer. i have been dealing with depression lately. i don't offer that easily, as it's not easy to admit that. still, people need truth, and vulnerability helps us heal. doing my work and getting THROUGH it....

    i will take some sunshine for sure!! :)

    sending big love your way!
    deanokat and loser like this.
  4. loser

    loser Community Champion

    Dearest sweet Dominica.

    Whatever you are depressed about, I promise it will pass. You are the strongest most giving and authentic women I have ever met. If I could take you in my arms right now, I surly would... just to assure you that things will be fine.

    You are in my heart Dominica... always and forever.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  5. loser

    loser Community Champion

    8am where I am.

    Just put on my last half patch. Feeling very afraid about the intensity of the sickness I will go through and for how long it will last.
  6. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @loser thank you for your kind words... it helps to know you are there for me,.....

    i do pray the intensity will be very low.... i am excited for you! keep in touch as you progress through this stage...almost the end stage!! yes, you can do this...and i believe for easy detox.... big love your way!
    loser and deanokat like this.
  7. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    @loser Robert, yes you need to change your name if you could as you are a winner. Even when you first started this path. Try and not be too scared as it will be easier than you think and a million times easier then cold turkey would have been. I'm rooting for you buddy. You are almost there.
    @Dominica I'm so sorry to hear you are suffering with depression right now. I'm sending you hugs and hope that tomorrow you feel better. Today is the first day of daylight savings and I don't know if you have that where you are but the days are getting longer and that always makes me feel better. Hang in there my friend.
    loser, Dominica and deanokat like this.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Happy Monday, @loser. Hope you're hanging in there.

    @True concern... Hope to hear from you soon, Arthur. You know we're here for you anytime, no matter what.
    loser and Dominica like this.
  9. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Dominica... I've been struggling quite a bit lately, too, so I can relate to your depression issues. Just know that you are not alone, my dear friend. And that you are loved and cared about by so many. It's okay to not be okay. I am praying hard for you. You bring so much positivity to so many others; may God help you find that positivity for yourself and lift you up to where you deserve to be. :)
    loser and Dominica like this.
  10. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @deanokat thank you so much.... it does help to know i'm not alone... and i pray you can also find sweet peace as well. :)

    it is ok not to be ok sometimes... thanks for the reminder! :)
    loser and deanokat like this.
  11. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @loser hey you! thinking about you this morning... hope you're doing alright and the detox is NOT that challenging!

    you're almost there!!!!
    loser and deanokat like this.
  12. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Sending more positive energy and healing vibes to Albania, @loser. You got this. You're in the home stretch, my friend. Hope all is well!
    loser and Dominica like this.
  13. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    @loser it's now 3 days since you started the last patch. I'm wondering how you are doing and wanting you to know I'm rooting for you in PA, USA. You got this!
    deanokat, loser and Dominica like this.
  14. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @DoxyMom i was born and raised in northwestern PA !! :) COLD! HAHA
    deanokat and loser like this.
  15. loser

    loser Community Champion

    Haven't left for there yet. Will do so on the 4th. Still, I need those prayers as my withdraws are kicking in. Aches, pains, stomach, sweats, diahrea.... but it'll pass.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  16. loser

    loser Community Champion

    Not so good. Feeling rough... but in time it'll pass.

    My body has to clean itself... thus, I have to go through this.

    Thanks for your support Doxymom... it means alot.
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2019
    Dominica likes this.
  17. loser

    loser Community Champion

    I concur with Dean... it is definitely ok to be not ok.

    And... you are loved... both of you.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  18. loser

    loser Community Champion

    So... day 3 indeed.

    I have no more half patches left. Of course, I am pissing out of my ass and enduring all the symptoms of withdraws... of course to a far lesser degree than it could have been going cold turkey at 100 micrograms .

    They will stop.... the mantra I have been telling myself on every dose descent since 63 micrograms. I doubt there are many people that can relate to what I have gone through over the last 6 months (thank God)... a full blown heroin withdrawl at every dose decent since 63 micrograms. It has been Hell... but it is almost over.

    It has been a long hard journey here.... which reminds me of that classic rock song by Journey, 'Don't stop beliving'. I never stopped... and when the sick is done... I won.
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2019
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  19. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    @loser Robert now there is a song title. When the sick is done, I've won. I'm so happy to hear you are hanging in there. Every day is better.
    @Dominica I'm in NE PA and it's pretty cold but finally we will have some spring weather, getting up in the 60's! Yay!
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  20. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @loser wow! so happy to hear from you! glad you are getting through this last bout of detox!!

    Journey... i hear you. great song, great message!

    you inspire me... very much! sending big love your way!

    @DoxyMom glad you got some warmer weather!!! may spring come early for ya'll!
    loser and deanokat like this.