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Friend Addicted to Dieting

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by TripleD123, May 8, 2015.

  1. TripleD123

    TripleD123 Community Champion

    I have a beautiful friend who is constantly on a new diet. By constantly I mean she is trying something new or going back to an old diet she has tried at least once a month. She has severe self esteem issues and blames all of her problems on her weight. She is on this never ending battle to change her body into something that it never will be. She is a gorgeous woman with so many great qualities. Because she has an average body and doesn't fit the mold of a athletic toned body builder she downs herself. She is a normal sized woman, not over weight in the least bit. She just started another diet this week. I try and let her be because it seems like no matter how many times I tell her that she is perfect the way she is she doesn't want to hear it. She tells me that what I see and what she see's are two different things.

    I am trying to be supportive of her no matter what diet she chooses but I am wondering if I am missing something. Is there more I should be doing as her best friend to try and fix her self esteem issues? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
  2. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    I think she could have certain eating disorders, or perhaps as you said, self esteem problems and it can be really difficult to get over with. I think you should support her and love her through it but try and influence her in a nice way and a good way to do what is right. You might want to tell her what a right diet would be like and not perhaps be addicted to it because her image isn't defined by the media or TV or whatever is out there. She should realize she isn't to be deceived by what she sees, there are a lot of people rising about the skinny image thing.
  3. DCMY

    DCMY Member

    Our body is the only home we have and we shouldn't' destroy it. We are surrounded by images of beautiful but fake people. We think they are hot but they just are a result of plastic surgeries and Photoshop. Props to the people who actually earned their good looks with hard work in the gym. Working out always boosts my confidence. I have self esteem issues too but when I work out I feel like I am the strongest in the world. Seeing yourself after working out is really motivating and in a matter of a year you see great results. Propose it as a leisure time activity. Ask her to try it with you. you don't have to stay with her if you don't want to, but I guarantee she will like working out.
  4. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    It seems clear that she is suffering with low self-esteem and possibly believes that losing weight will be the solution to all her problems. However, it never works out like that and you would do well to encourage your friend to think about the reasons why she feels so bad about herself.
  5. DancingLady

    DancingLady Community Champion

    It sounds like dieting is just a symptom of a self esteem issue. She is desperate to change her body into what she thinks is beautiful I order to feel valuable and lovable. That's the real issue. She has to realize that her value is not based on her shape. There may be a whole lot more going on here and she has just fixated on her weight and shape in order to block out those other things.

    Unfortunately you can't make someone feel loved even if you tell them and show them love as much as you can. If they don't feel that they are lovable because of some issues they haven't resolved yet, they will not be able to receive the love you show. She needs to see a councillor or talk to a trusted friend or family member who can give good council and start working through the self esteem issues.
    TripleD123 likes this.
  6. TripleD123

    TripleD123 Community Champion

    She does go to the gym but ultimately she focuses on the dieting and the food side of things even more. Her body type is not the kind that is going to end up being a size 2. She is curvy, and when I say curvy I'm not saying she is overweight. She has a pear shaped body type that will just always have curves. When she goes to the gym to work out she see's tiny little women who are crossfitters and have six packs. Then it sends her dieting into a tizzy because she thinks she is supposed to look like them. Its very sad.
  7. TripleD123

    TripleD123 Community Champion

    I feel like I am that trusted friend that she talks to about her problems. All the words of wisdom and confidence boosting talks we have just never seem to help for very long. I will express to her that her weight is not her grade for life. She will realize that she is over doing things and then she will stop focusing on strict, protein shake filled diets. Then she gains a pound and then its all over. This girl weighs herself every day, which I know some people say to do. But in my mind this is just crazy. Even when she is trying to focus on just loving herself she wakes up everyday to judge her weight. Its just so sad and I wish I knew more of what to do to help her. I do think she needs a therapist.
  8. chanelskii

    chanelskii Member

    She needs to see an example of a person who is like her but still copes with the situation and is happy with her body. She might change her mind about all this dieting. She needs to see that she does not need to go on an all-out diet just to be happy and have a boost on her self-confidence.
  9. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    This is common in most girls that I know. They all seem to have image issues on some level. There two ways you can deal with this. She needs to get educated on what a proper diet it and if that doesn't work, then she may need some counseling.
  10. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    She might need to have a self development training/seminar or something that can help her boost her self esteem. It will not be safe that she tried a lot of diet that could make her sick. Better if she could consult a dietician or professional that could really help her.
  11. mercshe

    mercshe Member

    I had almost the same issue before concerning your friend. I had tried different diets too but master cleansing for 21 days worked the best for me, however I continue to eat less or eat nothing after the cleanse and witnessed detrimental effects on my health. That pushes me to seek a counsel. Just continue to support your friend, encourage her to verbalize her feelings and concerns and always remind her the consequences if she continues with her bad habits.
  12. JessiFox

    JessiFox Active Contributor

    This is such a complex issue...from what you described it sounds like it's possible that she has an eating and/or body dysmorphic disorder. It's such a sensitive topic that I'd be very hesitant to bring up unless the situation seems really dangerous to her. I think you can just be there for her and be supportive ..maybe offer to exercise and eat healthy with her and try to model some healthier behaviors?
  13. It sounds a lot like your friend has an eating disorder to me. And with her not seeing what you see her body as, I would even venture to say she may have body dysmorphic disorder, which is heavily associated with eating disorders. I would definitely tell her that you're worried for her, and if her situation becomes dangerous to contact a close relative of hers about it.
  14. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    Being constantly trying out new diets might be sign of an underlying Compulsive Eating Disorder problem.

    Eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia are common (but not exclusive) among women of any age, but more significantly occurring among young girls.

    There is a quiz online that may help you to determine if your friend is having this problem with those diets, whether you can answer the questions or getting her answering them;

    https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/ency...tTypeID=40&ContentID=EatingDisordersAppetQuiz

    By knowing if her attitude falls into an eating disorder, helping her will be much easier.
  15. light

    light Active Contributor

    Your friend besides having a very low self-esteem, may even suffer from eating disorders and for this you should consult with a doctor explaining her condition and her behavior in great details. She really must understand that she is much more than just her body. I encourage you to spend some time with your friend and other girls that are fat but happy with their body. Your friend must stay with positive girls that really don’t mind being a bit fat and don’t do dieting but exercise in their own way.
  16. sonia11

    sonia11 Senior Contributor

    Your friend could definitely have an eating disorder, as many others have pointed out. If her weight gets to an unhealthy low or she's using a lot of diet pills or laxatives to try to lost weight, she could ruin her health permanently.

    This does sound like it's rooted in her self esteem. I've had the same problem. The sad thing is, no matter how many times my boyfriend tells me I'm not fat, it doesn't make me look in the mirror and not see a fat girl. But I'm getting better at seeing the positives in my appearance.

    One thing you might want to ask your friend is, "What will happen if you lose the weight you want to, if you get to that magic number on the scale? What will happen if you gain one pound?" This helps me to kind of put things in perspective when I'm freaking out about having gained a little water weight. Losing weight doesn't fix your life. It will not make you instantly happy and successful. Gaining weight does not make you a disgusting failure. Hanging your entire self worth on a number is just bad idea, and it's exhausting.
  17. Zimbitt

    Zimbitt Senior Contributor

    You need to help accept her own body and have confidence in herself. Try to find a proper and healthy diet for her to follow that isn't focused on losing weight but more on maintaining and staying healthy. Go to the gym together and start working out, this way she can have the fit and toned body that she truly wants.
  18. MNyte

    MNyte Member

    Tell her to take you, and any other loved ones, in to consideration. She needs to realize that you are worried sick about her, so she may accommodate for all this grievance. And if she will not accept it, then you just have to accept her for who she is: self-centered. If you being an advocate to her is not going anywhere, then why indulge and waste time? But, if you truely do want to 'save' her, or so it seems, then have a serious talk with her, and try to get a bit personal.