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Friend Calls, Off the Wagon

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by RakeMind4, Oct 3, 2014.

  1. RakeMind4

    RakeMind4 Active Contributor

    I'm going to tell a story of an experience I had with a long time friend of mine. I'll call him Vinnie.

    I hadn't spoken to him for about a year or so, but one night I was out walking, and my phone rings in my pocket. We started talking. Vinnie told me he was in the car, on the interstate. He had just gotten out of rehab for the second time recently, for heroin. But he was off the wagon now. Vinnie had found a contact and was doing a transport. He had several hundred dollars worth of the stuff in the truck, and was going who knows where.

    It wasn't like him to call someone asking for help, and I don't think he was fully aware that that's what he was doing. At first it even sounded like he was calling to brag about what he was doing. I didn't know how to handle the situation, so I just started to gently but firmly tell him that this was really not something he wanted to do to himself. And to my surprise, hot headed Vinnie started to relent, and to listen to "that voice" in him, which is the voice that kind of says "you know, I could be happy with just that normal, safe life that I left behind for all this."

    I don't know what Vinnie did after that long phonecall, whether or not he finished the transport or not, but I do know that he didn't take another nosedive into the addiction after that, and he did sound really genuine in wanting to give the ride up.
    articulatemindz likes this.
  2. Allen24

    Allen24 Active Contributor

    I'm glad you could be there for your friend. It sounds like he was trying to indirectly reach out. Maybe he was struggling internally about what he should do. You told him the right things. I hope he didn't delve back it addiction either. Thanks for sharing your story.
    articulatemindz likes this.
  3. RakeMind4

    RakeMind4 Active Contributor

    Thanks Allen. I guess this was a story with a relatively happy ending. But it's not like I'm trying to promote an "inspiring or hopeful" kind of message, you know? That kind of stuff, in my opinion, is cheap flattery and sophism. Because the reality of addiction is that it's an absolutely ruthless existence, and if we don't take care of ourselves and keep our lives on tack and in one piece, then we're just fucked, bigtime.
  4. Muraki

    Muraki Member

    Well whatever you did or said there it seems to have been the right thing in his ears.

    It is really hard to pinpoint what will make a person see the bigger picture and look out of their comfort zone but once you manage that there will be a bigger chance for them to realize some things regarding their life which they refused to see or even think about in the past. I think you had one of those moments with your friend there, judging from the text, and I'm glad you managed that.

    For his sake now I hope he has a strong will, since everything is now in his hands.
  5. I had a friend like that once and she was so unhappy with her life at home and she was constantly stressed about her grades. She was abused at home and her family was cruel to her. She went in to a state of depression for the longest time and looked to heroin for an escape. She would get a 1000 dollars worth of it at a time and spend it all in a month. One time she got so intoxicated that she bit her arm and tore her flesh. She almost jumped off my apartment building and that's how we first met. My cousin's own a airline company so I stayed with her for 6 months and took her around the world because she loved to travel. She was really happy at the time and was completely off heroin. Now she is completely drug free and attends MIT where she is becoming a software engineer in about a month. She calls me every now and she talks about how she still has the urge to do heroin sometimes, but she says school and friends keep her so busy that the urge is quickly replaced with the newfound love she has for life.
  6. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Lending an ear to someone you haven't heard from a long time and one with a drug history to boot is, in my book, laudable. Perhaps you should make an effort to catch up with your friend and see how he's doing. He might be glad to hear from you this time. What he went through wasn't easy.
  7. AFKATafcar

    AFKATafcar Community Champion

    That's actually a touching story. Thanks for sharing it! If he stopped abusing heroin and you were part of the reason, then I'd call that an incredible development. I agree that it's not a story that's full of sugar-coated events, and the fact that it's realistic rather than overly inspirational makes it even better and more effective. Even after addiction ends, you don't jump into a fairy tale life, but things can definitely get back to normal, which is a good thing.
  8. RakeMind4

    RakeMind4 Active Contributor

    Interesting brah. Can't beat that "how we met" story. I can relate; I've tried to pick up an addict and make her my own before. Did she have to go through withdrawal?

    But "she calls you sometimes." What is that? Why isn't she your wife? Do you feel gypped that the girl isn't in your life anymore?
  9. She has gone through a lot of episodes of withdrawal, even now she sometimes does. Once you get addicted to something like that and quit it's a feeling that stays with you as she has told me. We meet regularly in the summer since she isn't studying and I'm a girl so that's why she's not my wife ahaa :)
  10. RakeMind4

    RakeMind4 Active Contributor

    Wait, what do you mean "even now sometimes she does"? Like, episodes where you have the shakes, the sweats, hallucinations, and where you feel like you're going to die?

    You know, in highschool several of my friends got into the hard drugs, and this was something I heard as well. They told me that once you do heroin, you never want to do anything else as much, ever again.

    There are no females on the internet.
  11. jaray87

    jaray87 Member

    That's a pretty amazing story with a most favourable outcome. If I was in your shoes, I'd be terrified to say anything. First he was loaded with supply and then he was on the interstate with many options to disappear to anywhere. I would be terrified to offer any opinions fearing that any opinions would set him off on the wrong direction. I'm really glad to hear that your friend is doing well. We all need more friends like you, to be at the right place at the right time with the absolute best words you can give. Bravo!
  12. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    It's good that you were able to talk calmly to your friend. Sometimes friends or especially family members have the tendency to nag in situations like that and it only causes the addicts to recoil. It's not at all helpful and probably even detrimental. I think you did the right thing in just standing firm and talking calmly and logically.
  13. RakeMind4

    RakeMind4 Active Contributor

    Hey I get where you're coming from, but, even then, he was never like that, where he would just "snap" and suddenly do something stupid. It was like he had already "snapped" in deciding to go along with that joyride, but that was all he could "snap." So it wasn't like he was just going to take offense and then careen off the road lel.

    I didn't mean to "tell a happy story" with the thread. I don't like doing that kind of thing because it gives the message that everything is okay in life, when it's really not. Lel, and hey. He's probs not doing all that well these days, anyway. Like I said, he was an asshole.