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Friend is constantly trying whatever he can

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by ryan0039, Jan 26, 2015.

  1. ryan0039

    ryan0039 Active Contributor

    I have a good friend of mine we'll call C for this, and C used to only smoke weed. It wasn't a big deal, and then he started drinking and stopped being my friend for a really long time. Then he started trying literally anything anybody would give him no matter what it was and I'm trying to become his friend and gain his trust again so I can help him because I do still care about him, I just wasn't capable of handling an addict in my life at the time this happened.
    How can I at least help him a little bit? His family doesn't care what he does so there's nobody I can really relay the information to, and we aren't close anymore so I'm not sure what else to do.
  2. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    Thanks Ryan for reaching out to your friend.All is not lost and you can still salvage your friendship with c and gain his trust over time. What c needs right now is someone who can guide him out of his current predicament and that person is you Ryan. His family does not apparently care about him and it looks to me that you're the only hope he got.Trust your instincts and listen to your inner voice because c is crying out for you.
  3. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    It's great you want to help your friend, but remember C needs to recognize he has a problem. I find it interesting that you said the weed wasn't a big deal. I have another opinion but no use rehashing the past. You also stated that his family doesn't care. Is that even possible? I hope you are wrong about that.

    All I will say at this stage without knowing everything is be his friend. That's a good place to start.
  4. gmckee1985

    gmckee1985 Senior Contributor

    Reaching out to a friend that is obviously struggling is a really noble thing to do. You dont have to know the perfect thing to say or have to know all the answers. Just being there for your friend and showing them you care will mean a lot to them, As long as you arent too abrasive or judgemental.
  5. KNH

    KNH Active Contributor

    I think it's important for you to help C recognize that he has a problem before anything can be fixed. If you truly feel you are capable of supporting him now, I think you should. Talking to someone about their problems is hard but I think you need to do it if you want to help him.
  6. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Try to keep in this touch with him even just by phone or mail and ask him if how is he doing. That simple way it could make him feel not alone and someone is still caring for him. Right that your friend will need to admit he had a problem and be motivated to change.
  7. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I don't think there's much you can do, especially if you aren't close with him anymore, but I suppose it will always be helpful to anyone knowing that someone out there cares enough for them to give them some attention and to let them know you are thinking about them. If he has fallen into the path of addiction then he probably doesn't have much support and if he sees a sincere concern coming from you, along with a painted picture of how another type of future might look with you alongside him then maybe it will encourage him to get it together.
  8. goldenmaine

    goldenmaine Active Contributor

    This must be really difficult for you because even your friend’s family doesn't care of what he does. You can take it slow so that he will not be shocked of you trying to change him in his ways. Do it gradually so that he may not take your intervention the wrong way and so he may realize that what you are trying to do is just for his own sake. Maybe start out with talking then go to help groups together and then you can try to talk to his family also for help and support.
  9. May102014

    May102014 Active Contributor

    That is the quality of real and true friends, according to Proverbs 17:17 A true friend shows love at all times, And is a brother who is born in times of distress. No matter how your friend ignores your help show to them that you still care. Let your friend feel that it's not too late to change their lives. Organize an activity to help them out of the danger zone.
  10. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    I wouldn't bother to contact him. He's made a conscious decision not to keep in touch with you and I don't think smoking or drinking or drugs justify his behavior. Since he didn't want to be your friend then you shouldn't be his either. Try and get over him and wait till the moment he looks for you. That's when you'll know whether he'd been your friend in the first place.
  11. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Since C doesn't have enough motivation for himself anymore, then it's up to you to make the first step towards rekindling your old friendship and putting an end to his addiction. If you still consider yourself his friend, it won't be a problem if you take the reigns for him and enroll him to rehab yourself. It will sound intrusive but at this stage, he's no longer able to listen to anyone but his cravings. You have to be there for him since he's basically alone.
  12. sazzydan

    sazzydan Active Contributor

    Sometimes just being there for someone and reminding them of that is enough, although it seems like a small task to just say it, but knowing someone is willing to help out is a big help.

    I think your friend is going to want to quit before you try helping him because if you fight against him he might just think your trying to get on his case when really you just want to help out.
  13. light

    light Active Contributor

    I’m so glad that people like you Ryan exist. Your friend more than ever needs your support and I think he needs to be loved, as his family has abandoned him. Stay as close as you can to him as you can, because this way you will gain his trust. Ask him to join some particular activities that will make him feel good and appreciate life without his bad habbits. This way maybe one day he really decides to start the recovery process and even go to a rehabilitation center.
  14. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    I think all you can really do is let him know you are there for him and that you do care. I can tell by your post you have thought about this a lot and it is something you really care about. Make certain you keep reaching out even if you are rebuffed at first. Your reaching out will be noticed by your friend. It is a really good thing and one you can do to make certain that you are a friend to your once friend.
  15. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    Unless you get close to him and communicate with him, then there is no way you can help him out of his addiction. He is the one who is supposed to tell you what made him to get into drugs, then you can suggest to him what to do. If he is neglected by his family members then that can raise his stress levels hence the more he will get into drugs. You can also talk to his family members to see if they can change their negative attitude towards him. That will make it possible for them to talk to him.
  16. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Well, I think the best thing for you to do right now is to reach out to him, and tell him that he's still pretty special to you, and you still do care about his welfare, and his future. Just try to encourage, and motivate him to change himself for the better. Don't force or pressure him. Just make him realize that life is too precious to waste it away.
  17. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    I had a friend was was a drug addict trying to give up drugs. It started with cigarette, weed, prescription drugs and then to heroine and brown sugar. He tried hard to give up addiction, he sought my help.What could I do to an addict who cries because of pain when he does not have any dose of drugs.