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Friend started drinking only recently and now he's drunk every night

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by RobertBlat, Apr 7, 2015.

  1. RobertBlat

    RobertBlat Member

    My friend, a 25 year old guy (Mike), recently moved in with his girlfriend (Fran). I know her well too - she's a good person and a great friend. Being with her has helped my friend a lot and he's loosened up quite a bit. However, Fran is quite rich and has no problems letting Mike use her money however he sees fit. He's lived relatively modestly up until this point and I fear that this is leading him along a dangerous path. He never drank or did any drugs before (I mean EVER - maybe tasted some beer a few times, but never actually "drank.")

    Every time I visit them, he's always got a bottle in hand. Every time I talk to him at night, he's always drunk. I talked to Fran about it and she tells me that it's just new to him, the novelty will wear off eventually. This has only been going on for about 2 months but it's really worrying me. Whenever I talk to him about it he's not aggressive or dismissive, in fact, he agrees with me, but he doesn't stop. What can I say to my friend to help him realize how dangerous the path he's going down could become?
  2. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    They must be stressed up and need advice. They should know how drugs affect one's life if they can be addicted. If they are open to tell you their problems then be ready to give a helping hand.
  3. Johnsnow123

    Johnsnow123 Active Contributor

    Be there for him. He needs help badly and just talk to him. Ask if there's anything rough going on in his life. Having bad things going on in your personal life is the main key to depression. I encourage you to talk to Fran about this problem as well and make her realize how his alcohol problem is hurting him. You just need to be there for your buddy as a shoulder to cry on, a friend to hang out with, a person he could trust.
  4. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    The good thing I immediately zoomed in on here is that you can still talk to your friend without him being aggressive.I think that could be a serious plus in the situation. I have found that most "alcoholics" can be quite aggressive when spoken to. I honestly doubt he's an addict at this stage and I applaud you for trying to avert what could be a dangerous path for your friend.

    I say continue to be friend without being preachy and try to get his girl friend to appreciate your genuine concern for your friend's welfare. It might be dangerous to conclude it's a novelty that will wear off. It often doesn't. If she really cares about him together you should be able to help him to see the risk involved if he continues on his present course.
  5. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Whenever I begin worrying about friends or family I just start them off with a warning such as telling them that I will lay off but I draw the line at drunk driving. This way I can be fair and give them the benefit of the doubt that they will be able to handle themselves and at the same time if they do slip at least they will either expect what I will say next or they will remember my saying and tell it to themselves even if I'm not around.
  6. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It is a good thing that you are reminding him about it and maybe more push or advices could finally sink in to him. he girlfriend should also be concern and not just let him get addicted to alcohol. Its been months as you said and that is not a good sign.
  7. cmleasure

    cmleasure Active Contributor

    Try to hang out with your friend in a setting where he won't already be drunk. Maybe during the day. Talk to him while he is sober about you being worried that he is walking a slippery slope with how much he appears to be drinking. Let him know you care about him and are saying this from a place of love and not judgement. It is okay to drink but if he cannot keep himself drinking only in moderation, then he maybe should rethink his decisions.
  8. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Well, I must say I like the fact he doesn't get all aggressive or tries to explain to you why he thinks what he is doing isn't a big deal. Maybe the novelty will wear off, maybe not... There is not much you can do for him right now, other than being there for him. Maybe take him to an AA meeting? Maybe he'd benefit from something like that.

    Now what worries me if the carefree attitude of ''Fran'', I wonder if she is a drinker herself? I hope she isn't, that way if things keep going south she might be the one who actually gets him to stop.
  9. JohnBeaulieu

    JohnBeaulieu Community Champion

    Spend time with him and try to set the right example. Listen and be honest about what you think. That is all you can really do since the decision is his.
  10. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    Just be there for him and try to lead him on the right path. Maybe this friend is really just in need of someone to be there and listen to all of his issues.
  11. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    I completely agree with this. There is not too much else that you can do at this moment.
  12. chanelskii

    chanelskii Member

    I think, you should talk to both of them. Advise the girl on the repercussions that your friend is doing. Tell her that there might be long-term consequences about it. As for your friend, invite him out some time and then ask him what's wrong and what lead him into drinking. Afterwards, maybe you can talk to both of them and tell both of them how worries you are.