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Friend's addiction.

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by JessiFox, Dec 3, 2014.

  1. JessiFox

    JessiFox Active Contributor

    Unfortunately, I've known quite a few people- family members as well as friends- who have struggled with addiction at some point or another. Some of them we lost to their addiction, some of them have recovered tremendously and really turned their life around and a few are still struggling to this day.

    One of my best friends, who's more like a brother to me, is struggling pretty badly right now. He came back from serving in the Army and has clear signs of PTSD- he chooses to self medicate with more or less anything he can get his hands on. He's not the same person at all when he's using; he's paranoid, angry, threatening...he stole money from his family...just all these things that he would never do otherwise. It's terrible to see him struggling and not really be able to do much more than try and encourage him to get help. To regard his addiction as the serious, life threatening problem that it's become. He has come to me continuously for support- from anything from just someone to talk to for a while to financial help. It's gotten to the point where I feel that continuing to support him is more like enabling.
  2. muthoni

    muthoni Active Contributor

    It must be so difficult for you and your friend. You are a good friend for being there for him. He must have gone through trauma when he was serving in the army; he requires professional help. He needs to get rehabilitated. The problem is that he has to want the help because you cannot make that choice for him. Try to catch him when he has a sober moment and plead with him to obtain help. That’s all you can do.
  3. JessiFox

    JessiFox Active Contributor

    Yes, he came back with a lot of trauma....he joined so young not really knowing what he was in for. He tried to get some help initially but unfortunately the therapist that he finally was able to see was not a good fit for him...made him feel guilty for having PTSD, made him feel guilty for at what that time was a dependence on things but not a full blown addiction.

    So now it's a lot harder to talk him into getting help :( .
  4. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Why do I feel like we have met before:)? Anyway, I know what it's like to have friends and family struggle with addiction. Like you I came here hoping to find some answers that might be able to help them while not losing myself. Your friend's situation seems pretty dire and I wish I knew all the right advice to give. Sadly I don't.

    I would suggest you look in the "Resources" section of this forum for starters. I found some useful information there on particular substances and how you might be able to help friends and family. See what useful information you might be able to get there yourself.

    As challenging as it is getting through to him, I know you are not going to give up on your friend. I pray it gets better before it gets worse. As usual, I will be rooting for you;).
    JessiFox likes this.
  5. sillylucy

    sillylucy Community Champion

    You are not alone. I always thought that it was rare that I knew so many people who were addicted to drugs or alcohol. We all know someone who has a problem and it is not rare at all. We are all in this together.
    JessiFox likes this.
  6. JessiFox

    JessiFox Active Contributor

    Thank you both for the replies, Wintery you might remember me a bit less hairy and buff, but essentially the same yes ;). I think we all wish we had the magic answers to help our friends and others, but there does seem to be a wealth of good resources and information here. Thanks so much :)
    Winterybella likes this.
  7. JessiFox

    JessiFox Active Contributor

    & Lucy, thank you as well. It can be so easy to feel isolate and alone in our problems....so easy to forget that so many others struggle with the same things. It's a good thing to keep focus on.
  8. Davienna

    Davienna Community Champion

    I really do understand what he is going through as I have an uncle who came back from the army and had the same issues. My aunt is now in the army, I think she is now in Iraq but she is a psychologist. I am just praying that after serving the USA she does not come back home sick as well. Just try and give as much support as possible and seek professional help for him. I know the greatest challenge now is that he is seeking to treat himself, maybe not even realizing the full effects of his addiction and illness in general.
  9. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It will e really great if he will get professional help to address his addiction or problems properly. Good to know he still have a good friend that is concern and willing to help. He will need lots of understanding and most of all, encouragement to seek help and change for the better.
  10. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Do what's best your friend. When an addict asks for money then quite obviously what they are looking for is their next fix. Stop lending him money and be honest with him. Tell him you won't enable his addiction. Of course he might get mad at you for a little while but there are some hard decisions one must make at some point. That would be the first step . . .
  11. JessiFox

    JessiFox Active Contributor

    Thanks for the responses everyone. I do not give any financial help knowing what he's doing and what he might do with it/enable him to do, I offer emotional support only to a degree right now. He needs to hit rock bottom I'm afraid to see where his problems are. :(
  12. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    It's good that you are able to give emotional support and as far as that goes I think you can go further with that aspect without it being considered enabling because in some cases it might be their last glimmer of hope. However, I sympathize and understand that you feel you'd have to draw the line somewhere eventually, and unfortunately you will be the best judge of where that line is, but hopefully things will work out. Good luck to you and your friend, I hope he is able to work it out and feel better soon.