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Functioning addict

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine / Meth' started by lynda.wilson187, Dec 11, 2015.

  1. Whіlе І undеrstаnd thе nеgаtіvе еffесts оf mеthаmрhеtаmіnе, іn gеnеrаl. І соnstаntlу rеаd аnуthіng І саn gеt mу hаnds оn аbоut thе аddісtіоn, but І'vе nеvеr fоund іnfоrmаtіоn thаt іs dіrесtеd tоwаrd mе. І аm а 47 уеаr оld mоm, whо еаts аnd slеерs rеgulаrlу, рlus І аlwауs tаkе mу vіtаmіns. І dоn't smоkе оr usе mеth bу іnјесtіng, І'vе оnlу еvеr snоrtеd іt. І wаnt tо bе сlеаn, but аm tеrrіfіеd оf thе соmеdоwn. Тhе thоught оf nееdіng dауs tо slеер іt оff sееms іmроssіblе bесаusе І nееd tо wоrk іn оrdеr tо stау аflоаt аnd kеер mу fаmіlу fеd. Моst іnfоrmаtіоn І'vе rеаd іs fоr thе реrsоn whо bіngеs, usеs іt fоr sех, оr аbusеs іt bу smоkіng оr іnјесtіng. І'm а funсtіоnіng аddісt, аnd hаvе bееn fоr 20 уеаrs ехсерt fоr whеn І wаs рrеgnаnt. Му сhіldrеn аrе аll іntеllіgеnt bеіngs wіth nо еmоtіоnаl рrоblеms. І'm а рrоduсtіvе mеmbеr оf sосіеtу. І vоluntееr аt sсhооl аnd І wоrk vеrу hаrd еvеrуdау. І аlsо hаvе а vеrу dіrtу lіttlе sесrеt аnd nееd hеlр tо tо stор. Саn аnуоnе rесоmmеnd аnу tуре оf rеаdіng fоr а sіtuаtіоn lіkе thіs?
    Lostboy8731 likes this.
  2. Dwayneu

    Dwayneu Community Champion

    Not sure what to direct you to read, but as long as you keep healthy, hydrated and eat a lot you can minimize the comedown, but there will always be a comedown and it will be unpleasant.

    It will probably be best if you can somehow get a few days off work and then shut down everything to regenerate. Good luck!
  3. LoveEcho

    LoveEcho Community Champion

    You can always seek help with counseling, you can do.this privately... no one has to know.

    If you sleep and eat regularly you won't have to sleep it off for days, that's only for the people who binge for days on end without sleeping.or eating. The body needs that extra sleep to heal itself from the abuse. If you're not binging on it then you won't have to sleep it off.

    Try counseling and cutting down slowly. If you're in control enough to hold down a family, a job and use little enough meth to keep a regular sleep pattern... and keep it secret for 20 years, you can kick this!
  4. johnstatler14

    johnstatler14 Member

    I'd have to agree with LoveEcho on this one. Try counseling definitely, and if you have the willpower, cut down slowly. Like LoveEcho said, if you're in control enough to hold down a family and a job, I think you can also have the willpower to cut down and ultimately quit. Good luck!
  5. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    You should definitely try counselling or seek assistance from your loved ones. You may not feel it at the moment but there's a limit to how long you'll continue to be a functioning "addict." All I know is that it's not too late to turn your life around.
  6. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    Wow, it sounds like you really are a functioning addict, I am not sure how you have managed to hold it all together for so long. I think you are just going to have to make an effort to stop and then deal with the comedown. Have you tried an outpatient treatment option? You should not feel any shame or embarrasement for seeking out help. The treatment specialists would be able to give you advice on how to make your comedown a little more comfortable.
  7. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    There are indeed a lot of high functioning meth(amphetamine) users in society, in fact many celebrities and famous people have been known to be reliant on it in order to increase their productivity, although it can and does have side effects. From personal experience, I would have to say that you absolutely need to ween yourself off it gradually and it would be wise to get medical help in doing so. As others mentioned, you also need to stay hydrated and keep your body nourished. You said that you were clean while you pregnant. If you could do it then you can do it now.
  8. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I agree with the last statement here, if you were able to stay off meth while you were pregnant , then you should be able to use whatever was in your mind at that time and apply it to getting clean now. The only difference is that you do not have a baby growing inside of you at the moment.
  9. JonnyMacdonald

    JonnyMacdonald Community Champion

    How good of a relationship do you have with your doctor?
    Do you openly discus this with your doctor?
    If not, ask yourself why not.
    It may seem like you can function, but one day it will bite you hard.
    Sometimes the negative health effects take along time to accumulate.
    We all have vices, but God willing you can beat this one.
    Knowing and realizing this isn't good is a great first step.
    True concern likes this.
  10. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    I dislike the term "functioning addict." In my mind, if you're addicted to substances and are actively using, then you're not functioning at your full potential. You may be getting by, or managing, but you aren't really and truly functional. If you can overcome your addiction, you can be even better than you are, IMO.
  11. Kyndalion

    Kyndalion Member

    It will take a few days to adjust.

    Even if you are a functioning addict, people still know. My mother was like you for the first 12 years of my life, she used meth do to anxiety. I understand the need to get more done, but to be a better, more engaging mother you need to stop. Get it over with! The comedown will feel like nothing once it is done. Good luck.
  12. Drandolph

    Drandolph Member

    There is no such thing as a functional addict because needing a substance to be OK? Is not functional. You mean able to see through the day with meth?
    Yes i can see and comprehend.
    But you are an addict.
    It is a matter of time before u up the dose and spend more money taken from your home and kids . Before all the other user tendencies take hold.
    I wish I could tell u stop and you would. All I can tell you?is meth is not worth it!
  13. Blondie1979

    Blondie1979 Member

    Hi, I'm the same way.
    I always strongly educate myself
    Dominica likes this.
  14. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @lynda.wilson187 hi there. i see this is an old thread.. but wonder how you're doing... would love to hear from you!
  15. I totally understand your position. I am in the same boat.
    I am 51 yrs old and a functional addict.
    Actually I was a sporadic user for years then became a functional addict in 2010.
    I did quit for awhile and I can tell you that weaning is definitely the way to go. You won't have the crash but will notice the depression coming on. Try to force yourself to stay active. It really does help your body recover more quickly.
    But then there is the mental recovery part. Not so easy.
    It's easy enough to quit, it's the staying quit that is the challenge.
    I found myself moving closer and closer to the edge of an abyss Within Myself. and i became more and more terrified that if I got too close to that edge I would fall into a void of some kind and I wanted to die. The Suicidal Thoughts and idealogy became even more pronounced . I'm talking for months and months. That's what makes it the hardest drug to quit and recover from, at least in my opinion.
    So, I chose to relapse. I chose to want to live. I know that must sound terrible, but it's my truth. I know I am addicted ,but at this point in time ,I liken it to my nicotine addiction . Of course I am more secretive about it, but for the most part, my family and friends know.
    I can't say that it hasn't hurt some relationships in my life, it has. I can't say it hasn't changed me, it has. But no more than other life experiences I have had.
    I can say, however, that I am a responsible person. I go to work, I have a car payment, I pay my taxes.
    I am not a criminal. I am not out robbing people, I am not stealing to support my habit. I have a great job in management, I'm done raising my kids, it's just me and my dog now, so I'm not making anybody else suffer.
    I do not put myself in the same class as a twenty dollar tweak. Not at all.
    It just helps me care and want to live. What's the difference between this and getting another two or three perscriptions? Nothing. I spend $50 every two weeks. Not very much at all.
    I have looked all over the Internet for information to try to find out more about being a functioning addict. I've found very little, because it's not really that bad of a thing for people like you and I.
    Some people have a different kind of brain chemistry and they cannot take it. it does not agree with their brain chemistry and it makes them tweak out. That's the conclusion I am coming to.
    I stongly feel that I am not a bad person, and that is my truth.
    Franco83 likes this.
  16. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Stillalostgirl hi there! thanks for sharing. i'll start by saying i don't think you are a bad person either :) being addicted to something does not make a person evil or bad.... i believe many addicts use because they are in some sort of pain and their using somehow makes them feel better or relieves withdrawal symptoms or pain....

    if you are happy with your usage, so be it. that's your right.... of course, i advise against using alcohol or drugs b/c of the health issues....the toxins put in the body...and the toll it can take on the emotional body.... AND.. i feel that true joy and peace won't be able to be felt while regularly using drugs... but that's my opinion.

    you don't want to stop using? is that what you're saying?
  17. Lostboy8731

    Lostboy8731 Community Champion

  18. Lostinvoid

    Lostinvoid Member

    I'm still in active addiction, but feel like I could help. I'm 23, addicted to meth and yes I shoot it. However I was once just like you. no desire to bang dope and even judged people for it. Im telling you even if you absolutely despise people who bang dope (shoot it) there will come a day when your morals will be tested. Meth makes me do degrading things i would never do Sober. And trust me, you try injecting it and there's no turning back. you will be a slave to the drug. I think the thing to remember here, is let's not kid ourselves whether your snorting or injecting it, were still consuming a poisonous substance. And you've been able to recognize this as a problem. And we've all been thru the nightmare come downs. You have to remember that the symptoms WILL go away. As far as your job goes, its not worth risking your life in order to keep working. You must worry about your life more than your job. I don't know where you live, but here in Ohio there is a form you can fill it out for a certain amount of days off. Its used mainly for mental health reasons. I can't remember what it's called. You could also talk to your employer about your problem. Its not hard to tell your a good person, and they might be very understanding and give you the time you need to get better. Even If they didn't, your health is still more important. If you continue to keep using because of your job, things may never change. I wish you the best of luck, and good on you for being a good person despite your current situation.
    Franco83, True concern and deanokat like this.
  19. Aodafml2

    Aodafml2 Senior Contributor

    Hey Lostinvoid
    I'm glad I stumbled on this reply. I only been using for a little over a month. I havnt stopped since day 1, as you know it's impossible to get the feeling of the beginning of meth effects. I told this to my supplier, he recommends banging it and hands me a rig. I havnt used it. but it tempts me, in the past I'd bang h. so very familiar with what to do. I always assumed/and was told that's is the best roa...but never wanted to amp up what is alredy is a shitty habit..regardless it still tempts me.Anyhow after reading your reply...made me glad I didnt bang it.. I just broke it and tossed it..I didnt realize how much harder it would make quiting... so again THANK YOU..U helped me today.
    True concern, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  20. Airion

    Airion Member

    I can relate to just about everything you have written about for me I'm 40 and have had an addiction to meth for 20 years and it doesn't have the same effect on me as it used to and I have to come to the realization that just because I did PTA, volunteer time in into classrooms, Active in church, my children were fed,happy, they wore name-brand brand clothes .it Justified my using but the problem is it does affect everyone around me I want to be 100% for my loved ones so try thinking about the effects it has on your children family and home. Hitting rock bottom does it mean you're penniless you can hit rock bottom with a two car garage job and family
    deanokat and Dominica like this.