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Getting emotional...

Discussion in 'Questions About Treatment' started by 003, Jan 23, 2015.

  1. 003

    003 Community Champion

    Many people jump straight to doing drastic measures outright, sending their kids, their families who are addicts to rehabilitation, to shrink and even to court to punish them for their crimes. Instead that they support and talk emotionally compassionate to them, they stubbornly believe that they own loved one have to be frantically punished. I don't think that this is really effective because what I think addicts are needed is emotional comfort. They wouldn't get into their addiction in the first place if they didn't have emotional problems. So instead that they'd be sent against their will, they should be first coax that it's for their own good, and if they don't want to do it for themselves, they must at least do it for the people that they love, to whom they see hope.
    jeremy2, pineywood and kylerlittle like this.
  2. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    I absolutely agree with you. Emotions play a great role in addictions, and especially people who have emotional problems and who have been given less love and affection, they will most likely be addicted to certain things that they think is going to help them emotionally and feel loved. In fact, I know that loving someone is going to help them through their addiction because it's very important to give them the feeling that they have a hope and they have something to live for and someone out there cares if they do drugs, get drunk or do all sorts of things. We need to make them feel loved and cared about so that once they feel the need to do their addiction again, they can think twice and say someone out there cares about me and if I harm myself, it will make them sad because they love me. I totally agree with you, thank you for sharing.
  3. JoanMcWench

    JoanMcWench Community Champion

    I think that can be true but in my experience it never begins that way. It never starts with family/friends trying to punish the addict. They want to comfort them & believe them when they lie their way out of so many things but after a while you can't do that anymore. After awhile the thefts, damage, ignorance, violence build against the person you care about & turns them into someone you feel you shouldn't have in your life or should go somewhere for help.
    MrsJones and kassie1234 like this.
  4. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I think @JoanMcWench said it perfectly above. I never think anything begins as an outlet for punishment. I would say for the most part, it's family wanting the best for their loved ones. Of course there is a level of emotional comfort provided (in most cases, to me!) but I do think at a certain point families and loved ones can get to the point of saying "enough is enough" and then frustrations and other emotions become apparent. The ultimate goal is to get the loved one to get treatment and ideally recover from their addiction -- and sometimes the gentle emotional approach doesn't work...you have to go for the tough love approach sometimes.
  5. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    I absolutely agree with your wisdom on emotional support. I mostly talk about my friends and extended family members on this forum, but I am currently in the midst of an issue with one of my children. I have not actually shared the full details, yet, as we have some unresolved issues. I will say that being emotional supportive vs tough love was the wisest choice I could of made. Sometimes, I get confused and doubt myself, that is human nature, but in my heart of hearts, I know this was and is the best course of action.
  6. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    Well put. But not all drug addicts have emotional problems. Some do drugs out of curiosity,peer pressure or financial and social problems. I agree it's important to talk them into going for rehab rather than forcing things down their throats.
  7. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    That's probably the best thing that you could say on this thread. Forcing someone to do something that they do not want to do will not help them recover, as it will only make matters worse.
  8. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    I understand that some people take drastic measures like the OP states vs the persuasive methods but that could be the foresight of future problems as well as fear. It could be just a be down right no tolerance environment. Maybe it will work and maybe the foresight will become a nightmare that was so feared from the beginning.
  9. lgdg090596

    lgdg090596 Senior Contributor

    I also agree. :(
  10. Faithfulmarie

    Faithfulmarie Member

    I believe that initially, most addicts do receive tremendous emotional support from their loved ones, however sometimes the very nature of the addiction, causes changes in the personality of the individual to the extent where they begin to lie and even steal. At this point profession help is needed. This help is not going to be fruitful if the addict dies not want to be help. In fact I have heard individuals say that they would only want professional help when they reach " rock bottom". I do agree that the family support must always be forthcoming.