My boyfriend of two years now, almost three has had a terrible addiction problem since he was around 15. He struggles primarily with alcohol, but also drug abuse as well. We've gone through the cycle.. He will drink and drink and drink, and something will happen, a fight, him locking me out of the apartment, him getting a DUI, him losing physical custody of his child, him losing a job. And then he will stop drinking, for a month, two months. Then he slowly starts to drink again, saying it's only beer as only one a day. I've done the whole "okay I'll try to trust you, one beer a day." I've said no more alcohol period. We always get back to the same point, always complete the cycle. Each time we get to that point where he does something that destroys a piece of his life, he promises to change and to get help. He never does. I've read that it says something about you, choosing to be with an addict. That you get addicted to the cycle of the addiction, the false hope, the devastating fallout and then back up again with the promise of change. I can no longer continue this cycle with him, as I'm now pregnant with his child. Which should be a happy thing, an exciting thing. But it just causes so much anxiety that his addiction will bring pain and drama into our child's life and upbringing. He is a wonderful man, a great person. A caring and loving person. But his addiction takes over his life and his mind. I'm desperate for help. Me and his mother have been working for the past few weeks to find a way to get him into a rehabilitation program without him consenting. He claims he wants to change, I just know he doesn't have the imitative or drive to go to rehab himself, or make those decisions himself. If anyone has any advice of the right steps to take to get him into a program, I would appreciate it. I understand they have to want to change themselves, but I refuse to let this destroy him and his life, I love him too much to stand by and allow it anymore. I've been fighting to keep him sober for over a year now and I can't do it alone, he needs professional help and someone who understands addictions much better than me. I know there is a deep rooted reason he feels the need to drink, and have told him this, that once he figures out why it began, why he started to drink so heavily and use drugs then he can begin to move on from it all.
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time! I hope things are sorted out for you soon. Congratulations on the pregnancy! You're taking the right steps to improve things, perhaps now will be the right time and you won't have to go through all of this again. I would recommend googling the available resources in your area as it can differ quite a lot between countries and cities. If you're not confident doing that then it would be best to contact a community assistance group such as Citizens Advice Bureau. They can put you in contact with local recovery groups and treatment programs, as well as with people who are able to advise you on the options you currently have regarding getting him into a program.