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Getting nothing out of it!

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by Zeekie, Jul 23, 2019.

  1. Zeekie

    Zeekie Member

  2. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Zeekie hey there. thanks for reaching out. feel free to elaborate on what's going on and how we can best support you.
    Joshstillclean and deanokat like this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Hi, @Zeekie. We would love to help you, but we need to know more about your situation in order to do so. Please give us some more background when you have a chance, okay?

    Sending you love, light, and hope.
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  4. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    Hey, you sound fed up with something. What's going on?
    deanokat likes this.
  5. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    Ah, so I see. Cocaine has got you at your wits end huh.
    Been there. What's going on with you?
    deanokat likes this.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Talk to us, @Zeekie. We're willing to help/support you. But we need more than just "Help."

    You are not alone, my friend. We're here and we care.
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  7. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    If you care to get help when you come down as I imagine will be the case just remember that we are here. And I posted a few cries for help kinda like that on other sites or just called a hotline and said what I felt into the receiver and then hung up.
    I was almost at my breaking point when I did that. I read your profile. That seemed legit. A coke problem. Want to fix it and are lost. I get it.
    When you crash or if you are now and feel like crap enough you are willing to talk to someone who has been in your shoes then here we are.
    And don't make the mistake I did of being to prideful even in my lowest to think no one can understand how bad I have it I have it the worst! Because, reality is, there's nothing new with addiction. And at your fingertips you have the best chance you'll ever have with a support system there for you all the time no matter what to back you up in your fight for sobriety.
    Anyway, this is my last reach out to you until your ready. Then you have my full attention. Love you my friend.
    And I mean that.
    DoxyMom, True concern and deanokat like this.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Very thoughtful and kind words, @Joshstillclean. Thanks for that post.
    True concern likes this.
  9. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I haven't done this in a long time so here is my very first post @Zeekie read it and just type your struggles in the way you feel will convey your message in a way True To Your Heart my first message wasn't pretty but it was from the heart it was true fear sincere worry and one hell of a struggle but through this group this community here I started to believe again I found Hope and learn to love again you can change but we have to know what is going on.

    This is my story of addiction.I was born in the early 80's at the age of six year's old i was diagnosed with that time there was a new F.D.A.approved drug by the name of Ritalin.At first it seemed to be a miracle pill,I was on this pill until the age of 18 at that time i decided i was no longer going to take this pill and it began just under a year passed and someone said "Have you ever tried crystal"which i had not at that time but i tried it and instantly noticed that it was 100% the same effect i got from Ritalin only difference was it lasted longer,or seemed to but honestly it was probably the quantity i was doing was greater than that of Ritalin i struggled with meth on and off for roughly 20 year's,not only meth but i was as well consuming 750ml of Jack Daniel's a day plus a 12 pack of beer.For those who don't know when you mix the two you don't appear to get drunk which is very deadly because infact you do get drunk however you don't realise it until it's too late meaning alcohol poisoning.I experienced this a few times and actually died on a hospital bed due to this fact,it took 3 hits with a defibrillator to restart my heart and i was told the only reason I was hit 3 times was because i was only 19 year's old,but usually after the second time if your heart doesn't restart you are then pronounced dead,but a nurse pleaded with the try one more time and he did and my heart started back up.I didn't know at the time but that nurse was actually the mother of the lead singer of Sublime who just lost her son to a heroin overdose.I am forever grateful for that nurse without her plea i would be another statistic.Unfortunately I didn't quite using drug's at that time i just traded substances.I started abusing pain pills heavily and increased that addiction to catastrophic proportions,it got so bad i started injecting heroin which i quickly traded for oxycontin because it was much stronger than heroin.I abused fentanyl as well but nothing compared to the oxycontin.At my worst i was injecting 240-320mg's of oxycontin a day,feeling i wouldn't survive another month i decided to seek help.I'm poor and i come from poor parent's so my options were limited,i ended up at a methadone clinic for help slowly decreasing my extremely high tolerance.At the clinic i had an interview with a drug addiction counselor and an addiction physician,i was hoping for good news but what i heard shock me to my core.I was told by both the same thing,"Sir we are sorry to tell you but your addiction and tolerance is beyond the point of return,whether you quit or continue either way you cannot survive you have if your lucky a month to live"My heart sank and i decided at that moment if i was going to die i would die trying.I went home and prayed and then i called my wife into the room to tell her the news.At that moment i apologized to her told her how much she meant to me and made her promise if i didn't make it she would move on re marry and live a happy life and she noded yes.After that i quite cold turkey and suffered pain and sickness i cannot describe,for 27 straight day's i did not leave the bedroom,i did not eat,i did not sleep,i hallucinated,i screamed in intense unimaginable pain,i lost over 50 pound's in that time frame and had to be rushed to the hospital 3 time's where they would rehydrate me and try to give me pain shots to stall the detox which i refused.On day 28 I took my first steps after i quite and by the grace of God i survived and this May im married 18 year's to my beautiful wife and guardian angel.This is the first time I've shared my story of addiction and i did it for one reason alone,i want everyone to know i understand what you are going through and no matter how bad it gets there is hope.I'm here for each and everyone of you,if you ever need someone to talk to,if you ever feel no one understands im all ears and i do understand.Stay Strong We're rooting for you
    deanokat likes this.