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Going out with friends

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by sunflogun, Apr 21, 2015.

  1. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Going out with friends is something all teenagers do and sometimes they can be put in risky situations. Have you been there? How have you dealt with it? As a parent, how well do you know the friends from your friends?
    Clairelouise84 likes this.
  2. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I am terrified of this because my daughter is now a teen and I am hoping that she does not go out and do anything she will regret. She is a good kid, but you never know what kind of decisions they will make. I did not always make the greatest of choices when I was young, but it was not anything I could not recover from.
  3. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    Talking from experience, going out with friends is inevitable at that age. Unless your kid wants to be an outcast, (s)he will do anything to blend in. Hanging out with friends from school or the neighborhood is the next logical step. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. Exercising vetoes won't get you far, being lenient - also. You need to find the right balance, impose ground rules and set curfews. Things will settle in time.
  4. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I do understand the feeling Rosy, but I don't think parents should feel terrified. We've been there and like imperivm1 says, going out it's inevitable, it's a part of life, we just need to make it happen naturally and in the most healthy possible way, talk about it, don't make it a taboo or a separate world.
  5. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I am not really picky when it comes to choosing my friends. I don't befriend this person just because he/she looks nice, or he/she is rich, or something like that. If I like this person, and if we jive really well, no matter what kind of a person he/she is, I would love to have him/her as a friend. I have been friends with a lot of people, some of them are chain-smokers, some of them are sexually active, some of them always party at night, but never did they influence me to those things and be like them. I think if you know how to handle yourself well, you cannot be influenced easily, and you can still keep your friendship with them even if you don't do the things they do.
  6. Clairelouise84

    Clairelouise84 Senior Contributor

    I think that as a parent I would be very worried about my daughters or sons friends, I would just have to hope that I had raised them well enough to be able to tell fake friends from real ones. But going out is inevitable and the more you try to keep them in, the more they will potentially want to rebel.
    sunflogun likes this.
  7. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    That might happen because you have a strong personality (?), but in my case it happened otherwise. My colleagues at school started consuming, so we all started, we shared our experiences and drugs were included. So we need to watch who we relate with.
  8. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I could say that good thing that my friends was generally good. :)
    We just go out mostly to practice for school activities or school projects. We also just enjoy playing street games or arcade games. We were not those type of party goers teenagers.
  9. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Lucky from you zaerine, you missed something you didn't had to live. In my case I loved it too, but looking back it was a total abuse of the body that could have easily lead to the destruction of my life, so we cannot call that entertainment.
  10. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Who hasn't been there? Everyone had friends and there is going to be pressure to fit in. I was confronted with a beer when I was 15. Guess what? I drank it. So it does exist. The way I stayed away from it was high school sports. I dove deep into it, and that includes having good grades so that I would be allowed to participate in sports.
  11. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    The same happened with me the first time I got drunk, someone handed me wine, I had never tried it and down it went a couple of glasses and I was not exactly in myself. On the other hand, no one had alerted me to it...
  12. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    I would want to know about my childrens friends and see what sort are they and are they someone who just wants to be a rebel and lead my children with them into a world which may seem great but the consequences can be long going. I would also, try and guide my children and see, how they make choices and make them aware of people who may look out for them and some who will just use them as a wall for their own means. Setting some rules is important and will also help them to manage time, if they have to stay out late than tell me or ring and than the choice can be made what is going on and will be interesting to see how it works out.
  13. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I've had that discussion here before, I think it's smart parenting to talk about our kids about their friends and inviting them over to dinner or to some activity, you know what they say, we need to keep our friends closer and knowing those kids is a huge advantage.
  14. wahmed

    wahmed Active Contributor

    I think it depends on you. Often you can say no and that's what it is. No. If you want to try to impress people then you're likely to do stupid things. Main responsibilities lie to parents to bring them up well.
  15. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    You mention a good point wahmed, we need to be honest about ourselves and decide who do we want to relate with, to people that like us for what we are or simply because we abuse certain substances.
  16. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    I wouldn't really be able to exactly tell if one person is good compared to another, no matter how much confidence he would be able to reflect upon me. I guess my best source of help would be to wait it out, see if my children go into problems. Until then, it would really be fair to impose them the people they should hang out with.
  17. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Impositions usually lead to no place good because we don't get along with who we are told, but with the people we have affinity with. That is why it's so important to find healthy activities or else we might ending up doing things that don't benefit us.
  18. adfnio

    adfnio Community Champion

    All parent can do is hope that their kids will listen to the lesson that were taught to them. When they go out hopefully they won't fall into using.

    I know some parents that are really strict and don't let their kids go out at all, espcially at night. So there are different ways where parents are dealing with their child peer pressures.
  19. Smarty

    Smarty Active Contributor

    Friends are a most important factor in the development of young person. They all influence him/her, they are an example (good or bad) and consciously or not we very often mimic what we see. So, apart from the family environment, the friends circle is what shapes and what makes us who we are. This is why it's extremely important to pick our friends wisely and (if a parent) be interested who our kids go out with.
  20. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    Friends can affect one's life depending that we choose friends with common interests. We can not avoid whatever our friends do as long as we are with them. We must then advice our children on how to avoid certain weird behaviours that they see their friends are involved with. Let your child feel free to you so that they always ask for help.