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Grandma on Meth

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine / Meth' started by gma-needs-help, Jul 4, 2015.

  1. Meth is a horrible drug. I've been addicted for 30 yrs. Yes,I said 30 years. I'm smoking it now as I write this. I'm a 45 yr old Grandmother and just can't stop. I'm hoping to find other people to talk to about my every day struggle. I cry every night because I wish I could wake up a normal clean person, but I know I won't because I must smoke in order to start my day. I've said it before but I feel I'm a functioning addict. I don't want to be that person anymore. I mean really, who wants a Grandma on meth? I would be embarrassed. God I wish I could quit.
    Paul, Stephanie and Joseph like this.
  2. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Firstly - thank you for coming here! You've identified the fact that it's a problem, even if you're feeling like a functional addict at times like you've said. I always think that when a person has the self awareness to know something is a problem, they are on the right starting road to seeking help to quit.

    I can't speak from personal experience with the drug you're using, but I have heard that it's harder to quit than others. Have you yet taken any steps to quitting (seeking support groups, confiding in family or friends that you are an addict and need to quit?)

    Please let us know where you're at - we all want to help you and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're happy you've taken an initial step by confiding in us here.
    gma-needs-help likes this.
  3. JonnyMacdonald

    JonnyMacdonald Community Champion

    Thank you for coming here and sharing. I have seen your posts around today.
    It is never ever too late to get better!
    I was a big drinker/smoker and cocaine user for a good 30 years. I was a grandfather stuck in the 70's.
    Every day clean has been a blessing! You can do it! You can get clean and live an awesome life.
    You are taking the right steps. Please check out this forum and do use the resources available.
    Have you reach out to your family yet and let them know your desire to get better?
    gma-needs-help likes this.
  4. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    You know, g-ma, you have a better chance than most of quitting. That's because you want to. Not because someone is nagging you but because the decision to change has come from within. Like @JonnyMacdonald, I used cocaine almost daily for a decade but am currently 9 years coke-free.

    You're only 45 so you still have decades ahead of you. However, meth is by far, the hardest thing to quit (according to studies) so do try and seek some help. Cold turkey alone rarely works. Always remember that we are here too, tpeople from all around the world post here so no matter what time of day it is, there's always someone around.
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2015
    JonnyMacdonald likes this.
  5. I think sharing and accepting that you have a problem is the first step. I applaud you for that. Are there family members you could talk to everyday or is there a local N.A. in your area? My husband has been addicted to meth for 13 years but has remained sober for 5 months now. He confided in me that he feels he can relate more to those who have experienced his addiction and are now in recovery themselves. So I leave him to meet up with his friends in N.A. just so he can have a clear perspective on things without my "nagging influence".
    Joseph likes this.
  6. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Alright, I don't want to say it but you are funny. What are you doing? You know better than this.
    Ok in simple terms what you are doing is not that different from regular habits. Routines of any kind if you fall out will make you feel as if you are scattered or out of place. You don't know what to do with yourself. This is normal. Routines are good to have. This is your ritual or routine that you feel works for you. The only thing wrong with it is that it is an illegal drug that is so not good for you.
    The only way out is to detoxify it. Get it out of your system. Find some healthy fixes. They are out there. I'm gonna just quote scripture. "Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door will open." I think they say that God helps those who helps themselves. Basically it is up to you.
  7. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    It can be hard to break away from this addiction as the habit can make the mind think there is no need to move on from the past and it is hard work as well so this can make some not try to change. I think seeking help is one way and trying new hobbies as well as this can make the person busy with other things, and if they see what they are doing is affecting others than they may change themselves around with support and motivation. It can be a long process to change and meth can be additive and reason it can be due to access is real easy and cheap as well which can cause a person to use it on a daily basis.
  8. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    It's gonna be embarrassing for you, as it will be for your children and your grandchildren, but we know that family considerations make no effect when it comes to quit drugs, particularly if the are so addictive as meth is.

    Thus the better advice I can give is undergoing detox and rehab for as long as needed, and then after, stick to support and counseling services until you win this battle against meth.
  9. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Sounds like you want to change, but haven't. I would suggest that you seek counseling and you might have to move away to a location where there is no contact with friends that do drugs or dealers. It's going to be a rough road. The hardest thing you will do in your life.
  10. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    You coming here is just wonderful. You telling us about it without being embarassed is even more wonderful. You're a great human being, and I think you should know that.

    As per your problem, it's curable. 30 years might seem a lot, and it is if you think about it, but please know that it's never too late to turn your life around. You have the power to change. You coming here is a first stepping stone, but if the motivation to quit stops, you can't succeed with all the advice in the whole world.
  11. karmaskeeper

    karmaskeeper Community Champion

    I agree you are here sharing for a reason. I was an alcoholic for 22 years I to was able to maintain a job, house and be a half way decent mama to my kids. I knew I was still a drunk I to cried a lot I was a slave to booze. I hated it and myself for being so weak. Well I've been sober for almost five years now, and it's wonderful so please don't think you can't stop. You can I tell everyone this one thing because it is true "You are stronger then you think."
  12. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    That took a lot of courage from you. For most of us, it's not that easy to admit that we have a drug problem. Thank you for telling us about your situation. And I think that is the first step towards recovery, admitting that you have a problem, and then reaching out to people that can help you. I wish you luck and I really do hope that you will find the strength to fully be free from meth.
  13. lexinonomous

    lexinonomous Community Champion

    You have taken a step to recovery just by reaching out to people. I am sorry that you're struggling with addiction at the moment. I can only imagine what you're feeling like right now. It's a fantastic sign that you recognize that you have a problem. You should really look into a NA in your area. From there, ask questions and tell them you need help. They can definitely put you in the right direction.
  14. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    Thanks for coming here as others have said. There might be other grandma's around here who may struggle as well and so I don't think your completely alone in this. 30 years is longer than I have been alive so I can imagine you having a hard time trying to figure what to do to get off this drug. But you have already taken the first steps which is that you want to change and drop this addiction. Some people won't even do that so I look forward to seeing your journey in here.
  15. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    The fact that you know you have a problem and that you want to get clean is a huge step forward. Now that you have admitted it you have to start taking the steps needed to free yourself from meth. Seek a counsellors, a doctor, anybody who can point you in the right direction. You can do this. I know you can. All the best to you.
  16. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It is important that you should not think that you cannot quit cause you "can". The desire to quit is there and you have to translate that desire into actions. You can seek help on support groups so that you will not deal with it alone.
  17. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    Praying for you that you can get free from that bondage. At least you admit you have a problem and have come for support.
  18. ChloeDawn

    ChloeDawn Active Contributor

    You are so very brave. Thank you for sharing this with us. This is a big step that many addicts never live to make, admitting they have a problem. Obviously, you want to be healthy and enjoy life again. You also sound like you love your family because you do not want them to suffer embarrassment. However, it would be more painful and embarrassing to them to have a mother and a grandmother that died from being addicted to meth than it would be to have a mother and grandmother who successfully got help and conquered this demon. Please, if you are afraid to ask for help from a professional, tell your family about this problem and let them know how badly you want to get clean. They love you and they will help you take back your life. Sending you love and prayers for a successful journey on the path to health and happiness.
  19. Shenwil

    Shenwil Senior Contributor

    Thank you for sharing with us. We'll find comfort in knowing that you have at least made the first step in resolving this problem and that's identifying that it is there. Take it step at a time and you will eventually make it to recovery
  20. sillylucy

    sillylucy Community Champion

    It sounds like you want to change, but you don't want to because you know that you like the boost meth gives you in the morning. Have you tried other things like going for a brisk walk or some other way to get that kick that keeps you up all day? I hope you change for your grand kids.