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Growing Up in an Alchoholic Household

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Ali16, Aug 27, 2015.

  1. Ali16

    Ali16 Senior Contributor

    Dealing with a parent who is an alchoholic is very difficult for a kid. Usually, you end up growing up being neglected. Between my dad's drinking and my mom's codependency, I sure was. Having clean clothes or food was a luxury at times - I often went through the school year with just two outfits to wear. I always felt beer was more important to my dad than I was, and that my dad was more important to my mom than I was too. There were many times my life was put at risk by my dad driving drunk or doing something stupid because he wasn't sober. Today, I still deal with the fallout of all those incident in therapy and have PTSD due to it.
    If you grew up in an alchoholic household, do you still carry scars from it?
  2. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    I didn't grow up in a alcoholic household. I think that you have to let these things stay in your past and, not let them into your future. As an adult you can break this pattern of behavior with yourself and with your own family. The only way to really deal with your past is kick it out of your future. If you can remember the things you didn't want happening to you, you can remember what not to except in your own life now that you have the power to do something about it.
  3. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Yes I do. Everyday was a threat of being raided by local law enforcement for all the drugs and dealing going around the house. I'm surprised that I could sleep at night as a kid. It's probably why I can sleep through almost anything. For me it was never about the drunk driving, it was the constant in flux of weird people coming and going in. You don't know what other freaks will be coming through the door next.
  4. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    I still do but fortunately for me, I didn't let my parents mistakes define me. One can live with rage bottled inside but to really start living you have to let the past remain in the past.

    I have a friend who thinks his family messed up his life and uses this as an excuse to keep drinking. If he at least put some effort into changing his life I'm sure he'd do it but he's almost 40 now and still blames his parents for all his mistakes, why he's such a loser and so on.
  5. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    Well, the scars will remain forever but you can always move forward and focus on improving your future-self. The past is something that has already happened and you don't have control over it anymore, so don't dwell too much on it. If you waste your time mindlessly you're going to come to the realisation that you focused a lot of your energy on useless things, which could've been used to improve yourself as a person.
  6. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I do not grew up in a household with alcoholic but I do have relatives who live nearby who are alcoholics. I have seen how miserable their lives have been due to their addiction. That made me actually somewhat hate alcohol.
  7. Mzpeaceful1

    Mzpeaceful1 Active Contributor

    Both my parents were alcoholics and it was a complete nightmare in my home. My sisters were much older than me so when they went off to college I was left to deal with the crazy people and I was still a child. I never really figured out what love really was. I still as an adult struggle with this. I was emancipated when I was 16. It just didn't matter to them. I grew up really fast and was out on my own trying to figure it all out. I never had issues with alcohol but my son and my daughter both have problems. Thankfully my daughter got sober almost 5 years ago. I'm glad my kids never had to witness the things that I had to see.
  8. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I guess I am lucky enough to not being brought up to an alcoholic household. My parents are all very supportive and functional. They drink occasionally, but they never became alcoholics. And for that, I would always be grateful.

    Well, yes, I think it is really painful for children to see their parents drinking and wasting their lives away. It must have been a difficult situation, wondering when will this ever end.
  9. Cheeky_Chick

    Cheeky_Chick Community Champion

    It is awful to grow up in a family with alcohol issues, because the sad fact is that you are not the most important focus in the house - alcohol is - because it has such a hold over the other people who live there. It's a horrible thing to think about, however you just have to try and make sure that if your children are in this situation, they get out of the home and spend some time with other relatives who know what's going on, and who would be able to spend some quality time with your children. This will help them a lot, and will ensure that they continue to feel loved even though things might be difficult.
  10. AFKATafcar

    AFKATafcar Community Champion

    I have two close friends that grew up in alcoholic households, and it truly is like alcohol matters to the alcoholic parent far more than their actual children. It's a sad situation, and they definitely carry some baggage from their separate childhoods because of an alcoholic parent or two. Not all parents realize they have a problem, and they almost never realize how their behavior affects the rest of their family, especially the children and teens.
  11. Whiskers

    Whiskers Active Contributor

    It is the worst kind of nightmare for a kid to grow up in an alcoholic household. Often times there are feelings of helplessness and even guilt involved. Not to mention the child grows up filled with uncertainity at not knowing what to expect.
  12. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    I definitely do. My mom was an alcoholic and as a result I was exposed to so many bad things and also bad people. I was sexually abused as a kid. I grew up to be an adult with a lot issues, like for example chronic depression, OCD, anxiety, mild panic attacks, etc. I have forgiven my mom, but the fact those things happened... well, they happened and i will never be able to forget that. Sadly the scars are very deep, this is something you get over or carry your entire life, sometimes is not up to you, because the scars are so deep...
  13. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Mouse on a wire. Amazing how dumb some people can be. Let's get married and have kids. We're alcoholics and can do anything if we're drunk at the end of the day. Lol We can work and wing this kid thing, right? Wrong dummies. Yeah that's my parents all day long. Pills and booze we're so smart. Actually the system loves people who drink and take prescription drugs. Pay the taxes slaves and do the worst things you can think of to your kids. This way when they grow they are a mess. There's no scars left, just the realization that the whole thing was just a bad dream. You know you are a great person when you still found ways to be happy while your parents were just nasty drunks. Lol They just waste their lives, who cares if your father got your mother to pay for everything while he sat around spending her money. This is her problem. Functional stupidity and rage are common amongst people who think they know everything. Have it all under control don't they.
    Amazing how you end up meeting people just like them when you grow up. Control freaks that can't communicate. I've met some incredibly amazing people in my life. When I go back and see my parents it just makes me realize how they live in a small box mentality. It's like really, you are still like this?
  14. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I grew up in an alcoholic household but I'm not sure I'd that affected my decision to drink alcohol. A lot can depend on the actual person and sometimes it works the other way and puts people off drinking alcohol altogether as they know what effects it can have.
  15. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    My dad was an alcoholic but I guess my brothers and I turned out fine. Even though he was an alcoholic, he was truly a good provider. And a very good cook as well. I think the only bad thing about growing up with an alcoholic for a father is our easy access booze and other alcoholic beverages because my dad had a mini bar at home. And we were allowed to drink at a young age. During New Year's and during family gatherings, there's always lots of alcoholic beverages to drink. Even the fruit punch is spiked with alcohol. And we kids are allowed to drink them.
  16. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    That's incredibly hard and kids that grow up and do better for their life than their parents is amazing and a great miracle. Ultimately they have to figure out how to cope with life on their own because they weren't taught to properly.