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Has anyone kept the friends?

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by JoanMcWench, Feb 19, 2015.

  1. JoanMcWench

    JoanMcWench Community Champion

    So, it's a regular suggestion given to anyone who is an addict: Remove the friends/people in your life that helped you use or used with you. Now, my question is has anyone here with an addiction issue kept these friends & was still successful in quitting? Is it possible to quit abusing your vice & keep the people who continue to abuse in your life?
  2. musicmonster

    musicmonster Senior Contributor

    Unfortunately, those people who are involved with with drug abuse are still best not around your life especially when you are trying to recover. And remember the saying, tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are? So no, you must cut them off of your life.
  3. sllrambleon

    sllrambleon Member

    I understand that it is one of the first things to do and one of the most important. The people you are surrounded by are dragging you back to the hell you just crawled out from. It is impossible to stay clean with friend that are addicted because the temptation is always there. That is one of the reasons why cigarettes are notoriously hard to give up on.
  4. randomrules

    randomrules Member

    I have/had (I am still unsure) a friend/lover. We both drank to excess. You can pretty much imagine what happened. Good times. Bad times. In the end she lost a job because of it. I ended up quitting mine and we ended up in the emergency department of the local hospital more than once.

    In the end it was her more than me who said we couldn't be together because it was too destructive. I found it hard to accept at the time and would have quite happily drank myself to death with her. It is a shame in many ways because aside from all the madness we could have been good friends but we were just too much the same.

    We still txt each other now and again and speak on Facebook. I am trying to sober up a bit. I am not sure how she is doing.
  5. davidj96

    davidj96 Member

    I've honestly kept a few friends but most of them I had to let go just so that I could do what I had to do in order to better myself and become the person that I wanted to be. Most of my friends just wanted me to go out and drink with them when I was trying to change and get onto the right path, so I had to cut them loose and make new friends.
  6. juno

    juno Community Champion

    It really depends on your situation. If you started doing somethings you are not so proud of with childhood friends that you you have known all your life. It may be difficult to let go and cause other emotional stresses. But, you may need to distance yourself for a while until you get to a solid healthy place. However, if your friend has not stopped using or uses around you, you really need to take a hard look at whether this is a worthwhile friendship.
  7. mikka254

    mikka254 Member

    I lost touch with most of the friends who encouraged me to use drugs. You simply have to cut those friendships immediately.
  8. elles-belles

    elles-belles Community Champion

    I think that there are those friends that you can keep and still chill with! Those friends that even though still use understand that for you it's a problem and will still support you. There are those friends that you will obviously need to remove from your life because they are just too selfish and don't understand your quest for a sober and healthy life!
  9. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    If the friends that you were with while you were using are supportive and they never tempt you or ask you to join them in their sessions, then I guess it's cool to be around them. But if you know that you might be prone to ask them for some drugs or they are also liable to invite you in their sessions, then stay away from them.
  10. kwoodard902

    kwoodard902 Member

    I've been down this road before and the answer is no. If you are serious about getting off drugs and getting your life cleaned up, then you need to remove yourself from those friends. They will only slow you down because when they are around you high, you want to feel like that to. Usually you fall back into the awful trap all over again. The first step to recovery is love your self. Then the rest will fall into place. Surround your self with loving, caring, clean people.
  11. Johnderman

    Johnderman Member

    No, and I'll tell you why. Have you ever heard the 'Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are' proverb? You become who you hang around with. It doesn't go the other way around. You pick up the habits of the people you associate with. That's just how it is, the plain facts of life. If you want to change your life and your outlook, change your friends. Pick the people you want to be like, and have those people be your friends.
  12. People, places and things must change when you are fighting addiction. Unfortunately most people I know who smoke weed don't really like it when I stop. Especially male so-called friends. I stay away from men who always want to smoke. I literally had to crush one by letting him know I will never smoke with him again. Then I got someone else, a superior of his to tell him to stop badgering me to smoke with him or else. He was hoping to hook up, I know it. It never happened and he was so upset by me going to the lengths I went to to get him to leaves alone. Dodged a typical bullet there. Even with female friends who were still heavy smokers, I found it best to go separate ways.

    OGRICHBOI Member

    Unfortunately, I do not associate with the friends I had in my former life. I feel as if I did chat with them again, they would tempt me into returning to my old ways. If quitting your addiction requires you to lose some friends, you have to sit down with yourself and think about the negativity they are bringing in your life.
  14. BobPopporro

    BobPopporro Active Contributor

    one piece of powerful advice,

    "You don't need a lot friends, but you need to keep the good ones."
  15. rainbowguard

    rainbowguard Senior Contributor

    Unfortunately, the only reason why I cannot quit smoking completely is because I still keep my smoking friends. Even with the fact that my mouth now prefer other things compared to the taste of cigarette, I still cannot resist the peer pressure of smoking one when I was with them. Right now, the only time when I smoke is when I hang out with them. I still don't have the courage to leave them because they are the only people that I hang out with. Once I start to be able to make other more supportive friends, then I will probably have that courage to say no.
  16. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I have a few bad habits that I decided to give up but I'm still with my old friends who are mostly still into it. I wouldn't consider any of us to be abusers though so it might be a lot easier for me to be around them as opposed to others who are a bit more hardcore. I would agree that it is indeed a bit more difficult to give something up while watching your friends enjoy, but I think as long as everyone is aware enough not to add more to the pressure then it is doable.
  17. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I pretty much cut off the people that were addicts in my life. I felt it wasn't good back then, and I'd be safer and better off just being away from them. I don't regret it. I actually feel pretty good about it.
  18. trueknowledge

    trueknowledge Active Contributor

    If drugs are a part of your friends life, you will either feel left out when you're hanging out with your friends, and they are doing the drugs, or you will be influenced to do them. Even though they may not be bad people, influence happens whether they want it to or not. Cutting them off is the best choice.
  19. thepieeatingjay

    thepieeatingjay Senior Contributor

    Normally, it would be best to push yourself away from the people that used with your or got you into the habit in the first place. But life isn't always simple like that.

    Sometimes, the people that used with you are family members and childhood friends.

    No matter how close they are, it may still be a good idea to distance yourself. But if these people are also trying to get clean along with you, then maybe they're worth keeping.
  20. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    Getting rid of the bad seeds within your life is, sadly, a necessary part of the recovery state. In order to become a better person who is not addicted to anything, you need to be completely away from any person or environment that has drugs or alcohol.