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Has anyone kicked methadone multiple times?

Discussion in 'Withdrawal Symptoms' started by Invisible, Aug 22, 2020.

  1. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    Hi,

    Has anyone kicked from say 5mg, and then another time from 50mg? Perhaps you only made it through partial acute phase? Very curious to know if there were any differences.

    I kicked from 20mg. Made it 7 months. 5 years later kicked from 5mg and made it around 1.5 years. Now its 7 years later. Was on 30mg nearly the whole time, however switched clinics last year and ended up going up to 60mg since they only have these wafers that are so weak (perhaps technically on less of a dose than I think). On 50mg now and think Im just gonna kick. I need to get the first 45 days knocked out soon. Currently have my own apartment, and most likely eviction will be coming.

    I don't fully remember if there was much difference between my previous kicks. Both kicks really werent bad. Of course the 1st few days are terrifying. Once you get into it and break down each minute its not that bad. Nothing like heroin.

    Right now I have so much rage and anger it will work to my advantage. So thinking to just get it over with. Will see if anyone replies. Any advice, past experience, etc.

    This week not drinking beer as I want to confirm I wont catch a double withdrawal. (4-6 beers a day for a couple years so probably wont) And then next saturday night will flip a coin and leave it to chance and heads I dump it out, tails I drink. I can handle one day. Withdrawal Sunday and see how it goes.

    The problem is while its very possible that I can find a job before eviction and be saved. What if not? Might as well bite the bullet now and at least have some comfort.

    The other thing is I know I have some terrible karma built up. And kicking methadone, homeless, during covid would be my ultimate punishment. At least currently I control some of the terms.
  2. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    Actually just dumped my bottle now. Too many inspirational stories here. Lets see how tomorrow goes.

    If I can do it, will be good by october 23rd.

    I remember in my other kicks around day 4/5 your appetite surges with the nausea (mostly) gone. If I can make it there would be a nice 1st goal. Obviously right now I am shaking in fear. As you take the days out, the fear really really drops.
    Jaystorm28 likes this.
  3. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    Dam!

    OK ?
    Well you been through it before , 50 is pretty high IMO , & with all that's going on in yr life , you picked a hella time to quit (but I know you have yr reasons ) , I came off only 1 time in 17 + years & I was on 70 mg in county jail , it was hell , I got out of jail after 18 days , I was still sick at home so I started back on the 28 th ish day after 4 days of hydro pills .

    Of -course I was forced to quit , & I was not ready + I was 37 y/o , now at 50 ish' I think it would be that much harder but it may be all in my mind + my family situ is hectic & would not go well with '' junping off now ' I take 30 a day for 2 = years now , but I been in other pain so I F-ed up & started taking 10-20 mg more 2-3 days a week . I'm trying to get back to a level dose now .

    How old are you ?

    + Why do you think the wafers are not as strong as the liquid ? IMO that's a mental thing , but liquid hits you different .

    + yr gonna drink through the Done WD ? No issue with that as long as you can maintain control .

    Truly hope this goes well , keep me updated if possible please as I'd love to know how yr doing .
    Bye.
    Jaystorm28 likes this.
  4. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    So far 2nd day. Uncomfortable at best. Been asking the methadone gods to bring it on. I want it to start.

    I didnt sleep much, but eating good. Clammy hands, that nasty stretchy feeling. And that haze cloud. Sweating, but its also very hot right now. I would normally be sweating more at this moment due to the methadone.

    Yeah, kinda sipping on a tall boy or two a day is all. Kinda hard to stomach it, so I am sure this will decrease quickly. Have some really strong wax that I think is helping. Pot always helped me during withdrawal. These concentrates seem even better.

    I am in my 40's.

    Sucks since I live next door to the clinic lol. (which I moved purposely to make things easier).
  5. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    Also one of my biggest fears that cross my mind so many times daily is having to kick in jail. I need that fear removed.
  6. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    Late into the night (around 11pm) I started to get the RLS. It was really fucking with me. And then told myself this may be too high of a dose to jump off. Was then thinking I will go to the clinic today. They would have to reinstate me, would get 30mg, I would drink half the cup and dump out the rest. It was really getting into my head.

    Then found about 10 old take home bottles each with a tiny amount of orange residue at the bottom. I must of gotten at least 5-10mg out of that since ended up falling alseep for 4 hours.

    Maybe even a placebo. Still have the same symptoms as yesterday,

    Actually still going to the clinic in a few. Gonna beg them to dose me for 3 days 15-10-5. If they deny me, the one that gives the final decision will pay dearly. Will not take a full dose or join the clinic full time.
  7. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    Denied as I expected. They would only offer to lower my existing dose 5mg. Yeah right, I have already been withdrawaling for 3 days now, taking a full dose would ruin all that work. I am no fool. Just have to go on with it.

    The clinic system is ridiculous. They want you on the methadone forever. No assistance or support to get off. And if 50mg of crap wafer barely held me, how could I taper in 5mg increments suffering for months, only to reach 5mg and then have to withdrawal. No way. I have tapered to 3mg once and it was hellish to taper. Then still had to kick and can't say it was that pleasant.

    I have a buddy that jumped off 80mg that said he can give me a handful of subs. He jumped last October a day before his 45th birthday. He thought that if you are on methadone after 45 you will be a lifer. So his belief was strong enough to push him through the withdrawal. He was taking the little piece of sub every couple days to give rest and relief. He said it was really a cake walk. We'll see if I need them.
  8. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    Dam!

    OK ?
    Well you been through it before , 50 is pretty high IMO , & with all that's going on in yr life , you picked a hella time to quit (but I know you have yr reasons ) , I came off only 1 time in 17 + years & I was on 70 mg in county jail , it was hell , I got out of jail after 18 days , I was still sick at home so I started back on the 28 th ish day after 4 days of hydro pills .

    Of -course I was forced to quit , & I was not ready + I was 37 y/o , now at 50 ish' I think it would be that much harder but it may be all in my mind + my family situ is hectic & would not go well with '' junping off now ' I take 30 a day for 2 = years now , but I been in other pain so I F-ed up & started taking 10-20 mg more 2-3 days a week . I'm trying to get back to a level dose now .

    How old are you ?

    + Why do you think the wafers are not as strong as the liquid ? IMO that's a mental thing , but liquid hits you different .

    + yr gonna drink through the Done WD ? No issue with that as long as you can maintain control .

    Truly hope this goes well , keep me updated if possible please as I'd love to know how yr doing .
    Later .

    I think I went into jail on a monday & Friday was when it hit bad , sleepless was my main issue + no nice bed / pillow , & body aches .

    I have not missed more than a day since then , tho at my lower dose I can tell in the eve when it starts to wear off .

    I also take Xanax but don't abuse it , Weed would have helped my WD I assume , but I quit smoking for 8 + years then smoked from last May 2019 - March 2020 , but I smoked 2 + grams a day & had to quit.

    Since the I have smoked but , it really does not do much for me anymore , I also have some dab that I enjoyed but even that makes me feel strange .. Man ! I was Mr, Bong Hit's / The #1 Stoner since 13 y/o .

    My body changed last June 2019 , don't know why other than ulcers , + I have not drank since 2003 ,Thank God or I'd be dead now for sure . Or in Jail as my next DUI would have been my 3rd .

    I'm gonna go on to yr next post .

    My computer is messed up on this site for some reason , & I can only multi quote ? & It says I post duplicates everytime I reply . :mad:
  9. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    WOW! Crazy no double post that time Cool!! :cool:

    I would not expect them to let you drop to 5 mg all at once ( guess it's a liability / legal thing ) IMO if that's what u want & sign off on it they should let u do it .

    I've never taken sub's , guess you def, don't want the ones with the Nalaxone in them , I know I spelled that wrong .

    I tapered down to 25 mg last march 2019 , then my stomach started acting up , so I went back to 30 in July ( I don't think the taper was my problem esp after 4 months of a 5 mg drop ).

    If I were you I'd do what it takes to get over the WD ( The mind is a major part IMO ), at almost 50 I hope I'm no lifer but I think I'd need in patient treatment 30 day's minimum but I have no $ for that . My home life is way to hetic to stop while here & I surly don't want to drink again ( tho it would be a great way to get rid of my wife ) , that sounds bad I do love her but we just don;t get along .

    Bro ..I truly hope this all goes well , Did you take yr normal dose today or sip it as I would have ? either way it sux .

    JIC , I don't judge you for drinking , I just turn into crazy Indian Man when I hit a certain point & it scares me , hell If I did want to drink my dang stomach issues would not let me .:(

    Good Luck stay strong , I know you can do this , I often wish it was like on the TV show interdiction where they go to treatment & in 5 min they are 'Mostly' better. That's TV & surly not the real world as u know .
    Here's wishing you a great restful eve/ night .
    Davers
  10. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    I didn't take any dose. I just left the clinic. If you mean beer, just woke up from a little nap and opened my 1st. Luckily I started drinking very late in my life, and not for very long. Dont have any health issues regarding it. Dont think a few beers will hurt. Will help take the edge off.

    I don't believe if over 45 you are a lifer. Just his belief. I know of stories. It only gets harder of course.

    Also paying this clinic $50 a week at this time of my life. I need to save the little money I have saved. Who knows when I will get a job again. And if I get booted I have plenty of places to go, but methadone will not fly with any of them.

    I see what you are saying about liability. But it doesnt make sense. Someone on 150mg that can't pay their bill will be detoxed in 3 days. Sure I could of racked up a bill and let them 3 day detox me. But would of taken a couple weeks. At 2-3 weeks behind they will boot you. Still too much time to waste.

    I feel OK right now. Essentially same as yesterday. And yes its all in the mind, or the mind can certainly make it worse with a bad / scared thought.
    Davers likes this.
  11. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    Also I have involved too many people now. Especially god and my mom. So backing out now is not possible.

    But lol. Going to the clinic today was actually good. Even more pending. Cannot wait to remind the nurse she wasted a nursing degree on pushing buttons which I could build a robot with parts from the garbage and a $5 ras pi. And enjoy waking up daily at 4:30, and cracking methadone wafers in half forever! Bye!!!

    That will be my 45/60 day reward. The nurse was so evil.
    Jaystorm28 and Davers like this.
  12. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    Hope yr doing better as of today , sry I did not get online yesterday .

    It's crazy how clinics are so different everywhere , $50 a week sounds great , mine is 15 a day ...& they won't let you charge unless yr "stable" in dose / screens & even then they don't like it.
    Also it's funny how they leave it up to the person taking the $ do hear people bitch about & hear excuses of why they don't have the $. Since Covid the counselors barely come in anymore , this has affected me personally . Dang it ! ...Oh well :cool:.

    I could go to subs in no time but I have reasons that I don't + my Crazy Dr said he would prescribe them & i'd not have to go to the clinic at all . Hummm??

    Nothing wrong with a few brews , I started drinking at 13 y/o & was "full Blown ' by 29 .

    Right now I don't have much issue with taking M-done or Subs for life , but I been depressed as heck , & ask me next week & my answer might be different . + Coming off 20 + years of Xanax will be a 'Fun Time' as well.

    DANG ! How did I get myself into this mess .?

    Take it day by day as they say , u done this before so you can do it again .
    GD
    Davers
  13. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    Yeah. I ask myself this question all the time. Even worse I knew of everything and had some nice clean time in my 30's. All it took was my girlfriend at the time leaving me and the pain was so great I got a bag. Landed right back in the clinic within a month.

    Last night sucked. Intense RLS. Could not sleep. Ate a whole package of edibles around 7pm hoping by 9/10pm. Nothing. Then took 3mg of xanax. My eyes felt so heavy, but my body just too much RLS. Ended up dosing off a few times, but would wake up 10 minutes later. You know how that goes.

    This morning my buddy dropped off a bunch of subs. And a bag of dope. Didn't do any yet, but if tonight is as bad will do like a keybump. The thing is I can't get dope right now unless risking my freedom. I have direct hookups to bypass the block, but do not have the money for that. Those are large buys only. So this little bag I am looking at is it. I imagine I can get a keybump or two a night for like a week. Other problem is I am taking waaaayyy too many xanax trying to sleep I am going to run out before my next shipment comes.

    And no doubt the drinking issue is making this harder. I have so little urge to drink. Have not drank this little in over 5 years.

    I just have to do whatever is needed. I did jump off a decent amount of methadone, so was aware I was going to hurt. But again in the day I don't care. I can distract myself with a million things. Its just those nights man. Just need time.
  14. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    When I lived in another state the clinic was $88 a week. There was another there also that was $100 a week.

    In this city heroin is such a huge issue there are countless clinics. Within a 3 mile radius from me there are 7. I live literally next door to one, and the next is less than a block away. So the prices are cheap. There is one for $45 like a mile away. I was shocked at the higher prices when I moved away for a while. And there were very few clinics there.

    Who knows post covid what will happen. Street sales are definitely taking a hit since the city is locked down. Plenty of addicts have lost their scams. And police are everywhere. You would not last long as a heroin addict at this point.

    Thats the one good thing that came out of covid. Im sure this summer 1000's of kids would of partied away and introduced to heroin. Instead, they were home. No more parties. Clubs are shutdown indefinitely.

    So maybe clinics will start losing clients and have to change their prices. I know the one I was at hung up all kinds of referral signs these past months. Their client base is surely going down. Cant even think of a single new person that would be scratching on door at 5:30am waiting to get on the clinic that I saw since covid came. I would see them all the time before. Maybe the thought of having to travel daily to a clinic is enough to deter. Also $$$$. People are broke. They may just be kicking instead of joining clinics.
  15. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    Lastly yes. I have certainly had thoughts I may need methadone for life. Yet the next week I want off. You will tell yourself any excuse. Unless you have legit pain and life without opiates would be impossible, I would at least give it a shot.

    Checking out subs would be good too. They are much weaker so could be a stepping stone for you to get of all.

    Take care, will update tomorrow or the weekend.
  16. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    Chipped about a 1/4 of that bag. VERY nice relief.

    Its wild to think how much methadone raises your addiction levels. On top of 50mg would need to sniff 10 bags to feel anything. I havent IV'd in over a decade. Did for about 5 years and was getting to the point where hitting a vein was hard. Would miss, clog rigs, dig. My arms were getting nasty. And was now moving to my legs. Would always wear long sleeves even in 90 degree weather to hide it. One day we went camping with a large group of friends of friends. We were shrooming and some dude asked me why the hell am I wearing long sleeves and jeans, its 90 degrees out? I told him its because I am highly allergic to mosquitoes is why. Then I walked off for a few and looked at my arms. I am sure the mushrooms had a profound influence on what I saw. But I could not believe how my arms looked. I felt the most ashamed and disgusted feeling I ever felt. Told myself I am quitting heroin this moment. Of course I didnt, but never did shoot up again.

    Now after 5 days of no methadone a 1/4 of a bag has my eyes pinned. Celebrating I have at least lowered my addiction level by 100x. Went out and bought a steak. Cooking it now and then will go to sleep. :) Gotta make sure I dont touch that dope 2 days in a row. In fact as long as I sleep tonight (i will), will not touch it until after sunday.
  17. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    Not much to add. Certainly slept. Woke up feeling refreshed, also hungover. No doubt tonight will be rough. I not dare touch that dope. Its like gold. It did its job. Let me rest and get some strength, now ready to fight again. I will flush it first.

    Wasn't able to sleep right away. Cleaned my whole apartment. Then slept from like 1am to 7am. When I woke up and saw it was light out, I couldnt believe it.

    Oddly I didn't take a benzo yesterday or even yet today. There was so much already in my system. And was very concerned with OD as this dope is powerful. I am certain if I IV the whole bag I would of died. Just a few bumps had me feeling high. Crazy.

    I wanted to mention one thing about the subs. I know many that went from long term methadone to sub and all of them went into withdrawal. Bupe itself is partial antagonist. You need to wait at least 2 weeks after methadone. They all ended back on methadone since they claimed they never felt right. The few subs I have I can't touch for at least 2-3 weeks. Doubt I will even take them, but insurance policy.

    I will update :)
  18. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    I admire your strength , & your story "mirrors" so many I have heard , seen , & read esp , the shooting , I may have mentioned , I only took pills for 2 years before starting the clinic , I only butt popped a 10 mg Oxy once as no body I knew used opiates , this was 2001-2003 & Ice Was EVERYWHERE & all my peeps were on it & shooting but I was never a speedster & opiates made me HYPE.

    During my only detox off Done , The restless leg was awful & turned into restless body even my hands were funky. & That was 13 long years ago . That time still messes with my head tho , guess it was the setting & I came off Xanax at the same time but my xanax was at 2 mg a day at that time ...... Now it's 4 but I never take anymore than that & funny just that gives me some relief 'personally' as I don't abuse it .

    To be honest + others can read this :eek: , I been wanting to get some 'H' for a month now ( actually I have always wanted to try it , even have told my counselor this ) , It's "everywhere" here as well but me only going to my clinic 2 times a month has kept me away from the 'connections ' I had & could have made in the last 6 years. I actually yesterday & 2 weeks ago drove around one actually 2 of the spots in the city where street sales happen but like in 2003 when I did this , I'm just to wimpy to actually stop & ask around + & mainly I worry about the 'HEAT' as my records been clean for 12 years & sure don't need to catch a felony charge . Sooo why ? do I do & think this way ?
    Friggin depression ? Sick of 17 years of methadone & no real Buzz ? I have to much to loose , not just my take-outs but my great rep at my crazy Dr , where I get tested every month & that Dr, don't play & will dump me if I F -up then ill have no Xanax & that will be a huge problem , yea I don't abuse them but depend on them .

    After yesterday I feel like I tried & mostly have it out of my system .

    Sorry this is not about me , but this is the only place I can say such things other than a long time friend & me asking about a hook -up has caused a family disruption there , 'For some reason ' ???

    It's great you quit shooting & likely had to hear people say "yr wasting yr stuff " but that's 1 good thing .

    Again I admire you trying to get cleaned up , yea it's not easy but it's sounds like you have yr mind made up .

    I do find it awful that 3 mg of Xanax still did not help you sleep , that truly sux .

    This addiction thing is a struggle & we are both battling it just on different fronts .

    If you wanna chat Ill try to log on most everyday & if yr not up to it I understand , heck in jail I could not concentrate enough to read the paper & could barely write my name from the shaking , looking back the Sleep Derivation was the worst along with body pain , heck I had 3 cracked ribs that the Done covered up that had injured 2 months before my incarceration , hence more body pain ;).

    Enjoy yr weekend & hope those long nights pass by quick , Ill be going through WD of a sort myself here the next week as I took 85 mg of done yesterday & i'm working my way back to 30 mg .

    Later

  19. Invisible

    Invisible Active Contributor

    Kicking incarcerated is the worst. You come off everything. My biggest fear. I figure this will be the most comfortable kick ever possible. Out of work due to covid. (I have tapered and kicked working and it was not fun). Might as well do it now.

    Was silly to mess with dope. Got a rebound off that little amount. Slept and ate nearly the whole time so good for a few days. I have some subs. Monday will be the earliest I can try a little. We'll see.

    Back to withdrawal for now.
    Davers likes this.
  20. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    Well at-least you ate well & rested , + you got rid of that stuff ..so u can concentrate on getting off the long acting stuff .

    Hope it all goes easier than expected .

    Heck I'm board , so ill write some stuff about my Jail Time in 07 , as I recall you saying it was what you fear most .

    I was almost 5 years in m-done w/o missing more than 2 days at 120 mg down to 70 when I went in .
    ( For driving Suspended 3 times in 4 years ) 'only 1 stop was legit tho .

    I had done 3 months in the same jail in 1992 & that was a cake walk compared to those 18 days .

    Funny everyone I told 'why' I was so sickly heard me say 'Methadone' & thought I meant 'Meth' I'd say no methadone' & the black dudes would say "Oh you were on that boy ?' no ..just pills . 80% of the people in were in for Meth & dealing of many sorts . + The nurses treated my WD like a heroin kick in that they stopped my med's after 8 days .
    + Watching all the Meth guys who were given Seraquil sleep 18 hours a day was no fun ; I froze my arse off as it was early Feb , wearing my 3 days worth of clothes all at once & using my towels & was cloths , underwear as a pillow ..I ended up folding my mat at the top & letting my feet hang off onto the steel but that got old to .

    During the first 10 days I'd almost have full blown panic attacks while locked down in the cell at night , it was a hella mental fight I could go on with more details like the F up dreams & their affects + other stuff .

    I bet it has changed now but I don't know , that was crule & unusual IMO but others have endured worse.

    I do say 'Never Again ' will I go through that again no matter what .

    Ill shut up , hope you do well ..Later