We had been together for almost 6 years. Married for almost 3. We have kids together. He has been using meth for almost 2 years. Never being around a meth addict, I had no idea what the signs were. I knew something wasnt right. I was so focused on the family, college, work and trying to pay all the bills. Sure he would work... some times, some times he would tell me he didn't get paid, or that it was a smaller amount. I was just getting more depressed trying to support a whole family on my own. His endless drama was just causing more issues. I had asked him to stop hanging out with his buddy Ken, the guy who bragged about all the different drugs he uses. A man who got so high he passed out in Dennys. Pointing out that this guy lost his families house, child protection services had taken his kids... Didn't seem to register. Instead my husband told me about how Kens wife got clean while in jail for close to six months, less then a week later she was back to her daily heroin usage. I kicked him out of the house because I didn't believe anything he would say to me. His responds was to clean out his step son's bank account, including the money raised for his eagle scout project. Money spent on meth, he did go to jail for 45 days. He got clean, he sounded like the man I use to know. He said he wanted to get clean, to stay clean. He got out of jail May 18th, he called his dealer May 21st. He left our daughter unsupervised, I have no idea if he left to get drugs, if his dealer came to my home, all I know is that I came home to a trashed house, a kid who gave herself a major haircut, and him acting high as a kite. I took his phone and saw a facebook message to his dealer, he told me he was just in on his dealer cause the guy had 11 charges coming up and would be going to jail. I kicked him out again, blocked him on all social platforms. Its been three days. I have no idea where he is, even if he is still alive. I am hurt, I am pissed. I am trying to figure out how the hell someone could decided that instead of taking care of his kids, his money is better spent on meth. He offered to build his dealer a home, I cant even get him to fold clothes. I am scared that he will show up here with his song and dance telling me everything I want to hear. That I would be stupid enough to let him back in. I know its no longer him, is meth just wearing his face. When I drive past junkies on the street, I do look to see if any of them could be him. I cant live with his meth addiction, my kids shouldn't have to deal with a parent with a meth addiction. It feels pointless to try to offer rehab, after 45 days clean, he still picked the meth. I had hoped that maybe his time in jail could be his rock bottom. Looks like he hasnt hit it yet, maybe never will.