Hello, Extremely long story short I start taking high doses of Xanan after my daughter passed away 3 years ago just last month was her 3 year anniversary. Anyways they prescribed me that and vicodin to help with the chest pain and arm pain I was having severe physical panic attacks. I have come confident that this pain will last forever as I still deal with it now on a daily basis. People at one of the places I work dabble in cocaine, so I tried it mind u I'm 30 and never done drugs but i liked the energy it brought and not thinking about the month of October when her anniversary was coming is ( this was at the end of September) mind you but the come down was awful. I stayed in bed for my two days off and cried with her blanket and finally took some xanax and was back to square one so I decided like a dummy I am to do it again this time for like 9 hours straight to the point i had done almost 5g to myself and I was shaking couldn't breath well cold and just all around fucked up stomach hurt the works was pretty sure I overdosed so I stopped took a shower got my nose and sinuses all cleaned out and took a 2 xanax and I went to sleep within 30 minutes. Anyways like I said long story short because theres more stupidness sense October but now I'm doing it for at least 2 days straight every week. I need help I need someone to point me in a diff direction possibly a medicine that can help me I dont want to see any doctors as I work in a hospital and well yea.